yyjokes 431-440

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Information about yyjokes 431-440
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Published on February 15, 2014

Author: Chiayihischool

Source: authorstream.com

PowerPoint Presentation:  (431) 永生的愛 Undying love (432) 挨餓的食人族 Starving Cannibals (433) 境內電話 A local call (434) 醫學術語 Lazy Boy Decline (435) 展示版本 Heaven’s Gate EXIT (436) 重要性 What is important ( 437 ) 二條建議 Two pieces of advice ( 438 ) 猜你的年齡 Guess your age ( 439 ) 鐵路事故 Railroad Accident (440) 愚蠢的問題 The silly question yy jokes 431-440 PowerPoint Presentation: Undying love Girl : Do you love me ? Boy : Yes Dear Girl : Would you die for me ? Boy : No, mine is undying love Home page 永生的愛 女孩: 你愛我嗎? 男孩: 是的,親愛的! 姑娘: 你會為我死嗎? 男孩: 不,我是永生不死的愛 431 PowerPoint Presentation: 挨餓的食人族 兩個食人族 - 父親和兒子 - 餓了,出外想吃點東西。他們走進叢林深處沿路尋找獵物。 沒過多久,來了一個小老頭兒。兒子說, " 哦,爸爸,來了一個 " 。 " 不 " ,父親說: " 肉太少了,甚至喂狗都不够,我們再等。 " 不久,沿來了一個大胖子,兒子說, " 嘿爸爸,他是不是夠大 " 。 " 不 " ,父親說。 " ,吃了他的脂肪,我們會死于心臟病發作,我們再等。 " 約一小時後,來了一個絕世佳人。 兒子說, " 這一位很合適,爸爸,讓我們吃了 " 。 " 不 " ,父親說。 " 我們也不吃她。 " , " 為什麼不呢? " 兒子問。 “因為,我們要把她活著帶回來,然後把你媽吃了。” 432 English PowerPoint Presentation: Starving Cannibals Two starving cannibals, a father and son, were out trying to get something to eat. They walked deep into the jungle and waited by a path. Before long, along came a little old man. The son said, “Oh Dad, there’s one.” “No”, said the father. “There’s not enough meat on that one to even feed the dogs. We’ll just wait.” A little while later, along came a really fat man. The son said, “Hey dad, he’s big enough.” , “ No”, the father said. “We’d all die of a heart attack from the fat in that one. We’ll just wait.” About an hour later, there came this absolutely gorgeous woman. The son said,“Now there’s nothing wrong with that one Dad, let’s eat her.” “No”, said the father. “Were not going to eat her either.” “Why not?” asked the son. “Because, we’re going to take her back alive, and eat your mother”. 432 Home page PowerPoint Presentation: 境內電話 喬治布希、伊莉莎白女王和普京死了,都分派到地獄。在那裡,他們偵察到一個漆紅色的電話,詢問這是什麼電話。撒旦告訴他們這是用來打電話到地球上。 普京要求打電話到俄羅斯,並打了 5 分鐘。他通完電話,撒旦通知他電話費 100 萬美金,普京給了他一張支票。第二個輪到伊莉莎白女王,她打電話到英格蘭和談了 30 分鐘。當她通完電話,撒旦通知她電話費 600 萬美金,於是她給了他一張支票。 最後輪到布希,他談了 4 個小時。當他通完電話,撒旦通知他電話費 5 美金。 當普京聽到馬上跳脚,質問撒旦為什麼布希打電話到美國竟那麼便宜。 撒旦微笑地答覆道 “ 自從毆巴馬接手總統後,國家已淪入地獄,所以布希打 的是 境內電話。 " 433 English PowerPoint Presentation: A local call George Bush, Queen Elizabeth, and Putin all die and go to hell. While there, they spy a red phone and ask what the phone is for. The devil tells them it is for calling back to Earth. Putin asks to call Russia and talks for 5 minutes. When he is finished the devil informs him that the cost is a million dollars, so Putin writes him a check. Next Queen Elizabeth calls England and talks for 30 minutes. When she is finished the devil informs her that the cost is 6 million dollars, so she writes him a check. Finally George Bush gets his turn and talks for 4 hours. When he is finished the devil informs him that the cost is $5.00. When Putin hears this he goes ballistic and asks the devil why Bush got to call the USA so cheaply. The devil smiles and replies, " Since Obama took over , the country has gone to hell, so it's a local call." 433 Home page PowerPoint Presentation: 醫學術語 有位男士告訴醫生他無法像以往一樣做完所有的家事。當他完成檢查,他說, " 醫生,我可以面對。請用平實易懂的英文告訴我有什麼不對勁。 " " 好吧,用易懂的話來說 " 醫生說: " 就是你太懶了! " 。 男士說: " 好吧, " 。 " 現在請告訴我醫學術語,好讓我對太太有個交待。 English 434 PowerPoint Presentation: Lazy Boy Decline A man told his doctor that he wasn’t able to do all the things around the house that he used to do. When the exam was complete, he said, “Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me.” “Well, in plain English,” the doctor said, “you’re just lazy.” “Okay,” said the man. “Now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife.” Home page 434 PowerPoint Presentation: 展示版本 比爾 • 蓋茨到天堂,由聖約翰接待。聖約翰知道比爾是要人,請他自行决定到天堂或 地獄。比爾說, " 這二地方是什麼樣子? " 聖約翰展示天堂給他看,綠油由的田野和豪華的房子,一個非常好地方。只是你不能喝酒。比爾要求看看地獄,所以聖約翰也展示地獄,和天堂完全相同,只是你可以喝酒。於是比爾說, " 我就到地獄去! " 大約一個月以後聖約翰來到地獄,看看比爾過得如何,只見比爾在火爐工作,全身大汗,除了喝酒其他都不允許喝。他對聖約翰說, " 地獄一點都不像你所展示的樣子! " 聖約翰答覆道, " 是的,像微軟一樣,那只是展示版本 " 。 English 435 PowerPoint Presentation: Heaven’s Gate Bill Gates went up to heaven and was met by St John. Seeing how he was so important, St. John gave him the option to go to Heaven or to Hell. Bill Gates said, “What are they like?” St John shows him Heaven, which is very nice with green fields and luxurious houses. Only you can’t drink. Bill Gates asks to see Hell so St John shows him and it is exactly the same except that you can drink. So Bill Gates says, “I’ll go to Hell then” About a month later St John returns to see how he is getting on and Bill Gates is working in the furnaces sweating and wishing he could drink anything let alone alcohol. He says to St John, “Hell is nothing like what you showed me!” St John replies, “Well, that was only the demo version like Microsoft does.” Home page 435 PowerPoint Presentation: 436 English 重要性 克林頓、高爾和比爾蓋茨在飛機失事中喪生,去見創造人類的神。 至高無上的神轉身問高爾: " 告訴我何事對你最重要 " 。高爾說他認為地球是極為重要的,所以保護地球的自然生態是最重要的。神看看高爾說, " 我喜歡你的想法,來,坐在我的左邊 " 。神然後問克林頓他最尊重些什麼。克林頓說他認為人以及他們每個人的選擇是最重要。神回答, " 我喜歡你的想法,來,坐在我的右邊 " 。 神然後轉到比爾,比爾正用氣憤的眼神地盯著他。 神問 " 比爾你有什麼問題嗎? " 。比爾回應說: " 我想你坐到我的椅子上了! " PowerPoint Presentation: 436 What is important Bill Clinton, Al Gore, and Bill Gates all died in a plane crash and went to meet their maker.The supreme deity turned to Al and asked: "Tell what is important about yourself." Al responded that he felt that the earth was the ultimate importance and that protecting the earth's ecological system was most important. God looked to Al and said, "I like the way you think, come and sit at my left hand."God then asked Bill Clinton what he revered most. Bill Clinton responded that he felt people and their personal choices were most important. God responded, "I like the way you think, come and sit at my right hand."God then turned to Bill Gates, who was staring at him indignantly. God asked "What is your problem Bill Gates?" Bill Gates responded "I think you are sitting in my chair!" CLOSE PowerPoint Presentation: 437 二條建議 已婚男人永遠不要嘲笑你妻子的選擇;因你是她選擇之一。 也永遠不要驕傲的您的選擇;因你的妻子是你選擇之一。 Two pieces of advice Never laugh at your wife’s choices ; you are one of them. Never be proud of your choices ; your wife is one of them CLOSE PowerPoint Presentation: 438 English 猜你的年齡 有一天一個老男人和一個老女人在老人之家談話。老女人突然冒出一句話說, " 我可以猜你的年齡 " 。男子不相信,但告訴她妳就猜猜看吧。 " 拉下褲子, " 她說。他不知道她要幹什麼但還是照她的意思做。她開始檢查他的屁股幾分鐘後說, " 你是 84 歲 " 。 老男人說: " 真令我嚇一跳, "" 妳怎麼知道的呢? " " 你昨天告訴我的。 " PowerPoint Presentation: CLOSE Guess your age One day at the rest home, an old man and woman are talking. Out of nowhere the woman says, "I can guess your age." The man doesn't believe her, but tells her to go ahead and try. "Pull down your pants," she says. He doesn't understand but does it anyway. She inspects his rear end for a few minutes and then says, "You're 84 years old." "That's amazing," the man says. "How did you know?" "You told me yesterday." 438 PowerPoint Presentation: 439 English 鐵路事故 在鐵路交叉口發生一個可怕的事故,一列火車撞到了一輛汽車,並沿著鐵軌拖行約四百碼。雖然沒有人喪生,汽車駕駛向法院提出了控訴。 在審判時,叉口守衛員堅稱他揮動他的燈籠來回將近一分鐘,已給予汽車駕駛充分警告。他為了取信站,甚至起來在法院展示他的做法。法院相信他的說法並駁回訴訟。 " 恭喜! " 結束時,律師向守衛員說。 " 交叉詢問時,你做得很完美。 " 謝謝 " 他說, " 其實我擔心極了” " 怎麼會? " 這位律師問。 " 我是怕他要問我那燈籠是否亮了燈! " PowerPoint Presentation: 439 CLOSE Railroad Accident In a terrible accident at a railroad crossing, a train smashed into a car and pushed it nearly four hundred yards down the track. Though no one was killed, the driver took the train company to court. At the trial, the engineer insisted that he had given the driver ample warning by waving his lantern back and forth for nearly a minute. He even stood and convincingly demonstrated how he’d done it. The court believed his story, and the suit was dismissed. ”Congratulations,” the lawyer said to the engineer when it was over. “You did superbly under cross-examination.” Thanks” he said, “but he sure had me worried.” “How’s that?” the lawyer asked. “I was afraid he was going to ask if the damned lantern was lit!” PowerPoint Presentation: 430 愚蠢的問題 大象問駱駝: " 為什麼你的乳房長在你背上? " 駱駝顯然被凌辱的問話所激怒,答覆道: " 第弟長在臉上的傢伙所提的問題多愚蠢呀 " Silly question The elephant asked the camel: "Why do you have your breasts on your back?" The camel clearly irritated by the outrage of modesty replies: "What a silly question from someone who has a dick on his face." CLOSE PowerPoint Presentation: yy jokes 431-440

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