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yyjoke-441-450

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Published on February 28, 2014

Author: Chiayihischool

Source: authorstream.com

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PowerPoint Presentation:  (441) 地心吸引力 Discover gravity ( 442 ) 耶穌的老爸 Dad of Jesus ( 443 ) 上學的第一天 First day in school ( 444 ) 把女的扔下 Throw your woman (445) 上帝不聾奶奶聾 Shouting prayers EXIT (446) 跟爸睡 Sleep with Dad ( 447 ) 孩子歸誰 Who owns the kid ( 448 ) 比快 How fast ( 449 ) 善良的人 A kind man (450) 計程車司機 Riding in New York yy jokes 441-450 PowerPoint Presentation: 441 地心吸引力 物理老師:"當牛頓坐在樹下,蘋果掉在他頭上,於是他發現了地心吸引力,這是不是很了不起?" 學生:"是的,老師,如果像我們老是坐在教室看書,他就不會有任何發現了"。 Discover gravity Physics Teacher: "Isaac Newton was sitting under a tree when an apple fell on his head and he discovered gravity. Isn't that wonderful?" Student: "Yes sir, if he had been sitting in class looking at books like us, he wouldn't have discovered anything." CLOSE PowerPoint Presentation: English 耶穌的老爸 摩西、 耶穌和一位留鬍子的老者打高爾夫球。摩西走到發球台擊出球,球朝向水池,摩西很快舉起球桿,水馬上分開,球順利滾到另一端球道上。下一位輪到耶穌上來,他的球一樣進入水池,球在水中盤旋幾妙鐘,耶穌不經意間走過去,把球切上果嶺。輪到老者重力擊出,球朝向住家附近的公路,落到一輛卡車的頂部滾下附近的房子水溝,然後安全著陸在小池塘裡的百合花上,一隻大牛蛙把球吞下。此時來了一隻大鷹撲下並抓住青蛙,一起飛向在高爾夫球場,青蛙一打嗝,球從嘴中掉落正好落入球洞,是一個漂亮的一桿進洞。 摩西轉身對耶穌說:”我討厭和你老爸玩!” 442 PowerPoint Presentation: Dad of Jesus Moses, Jesus, and an older bearded man were playing a round of golf. Moses stepped up to the tee and hit the ball. It headed toward the water. Quickly, Moses raised his club and the water parted, allowing the ball to roll to the other side onto the fairway. Next, Jesus came up and hit his ball toward the same water hole. This time it hovered for a few seconds over the water. Casually, Jesus walked over to it and chipped it up onto the green. The older man then teed up and whacked the ball which headed over to a nearby highway. It bounced off the top of a truck and rolled down the gutter of a nearby house, then landed safely on a lily pad in a small pond where a large bullfrog swallowed it. At that moment a large eagle swooped down and grabbed the frog. As they passed over the golf course, the frog burped and the ball fell out of his mouth and into the hole for a beautiful hole in one. Moses turned to Jesus and said, '' I hate playing with your dad.'' CLOSE 442 PowerPoint Presentation: 443 上學的第一天 媽媽: " 你第一天上學,感覺如何? " 女孩: " 第一天?你意思是說我明天還要去上學? First day in school Mother: "Did you enjoy your first day at school?" Girl: "First day? Do you mean I have to go back tomorrow? CLOSE PowerPoint Presentation: 444 English 把女的扔下 兩夫妻打架,把一枕頭扔到樓下, 一乞丐正好路過,甚喜, 接著又飛下一床被子,乞丐狂喜, 抹著眼淚喊:樓上的大哥,行行好,把那女的也扔下來吧。 PowerPoint Presentation: 444 CLOSE Throw your woman A couple fighting upstairs. One of them threw a pillow out to the window and a beggar passing by caught it. He was happy. Before he moved, another fine blanket was coming down. He was getting excited and yelling with tears “My hero upstairs, I beg for your kindness, can you throw your woman out to me?” PowerPoint Presentation: 445 English 上帝不聾奶奶聾 兩個小男孩在爺爺奶奶家玩,睡覺前,他們再床邊祈禱,小的那個用他最大的聲音開始祈禱,。“我想要輛新的自行車,我想要個新的任天堂,我想要和新的攝像機 ...” 大的那個男孩輕輕推了他一下,“為什麼那麼大聲啊,上帝又不是聾的。” 小的那個回答說,“是的上帝不聾,但是奶奶聾。” PowerPoint Presentation: CLOSE Shouting prayers Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents'. At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers when the younger one began praying at the top of his lungs. "I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE... I PRAY FOR A NEW NINTENDO... I PRAY FOR A NEW VCR..." His older brother nudged him and said, "Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn't deaf." To which the younger one replied, "No, but Grandma is!" 445 PowerPoint Presentation: 446 English 跟爸睡 兒子每晚要和媽媽睡。 媽說:你長大了娶了媳婦也和媽睡呀? 兒答:嗯! 媽說:那你媳婦咋辦? 兒說:讓她跟爸睡。 爸聽後激動的說:這孩子從小就懂事! PowerPoint Presentation: 446 Sleep with Dad A son enjoys to sleep with his mother. The mother said “when you grew up, got married, you still want to sleep with your Mom?” the son answered with a conviction “of course!” the mother: “then what happens to your wife?” the son: “she can sleep with Dad” The father, while holding his posture yet speaking with excitement: “Son, you are really a smart, considerate and compassionated kid” CLOSE PowerPoint Presentation: 447 孩子歸誰 一對夫妻離婚爭孩子,老婆理直氣壯說: “孩子從我肚子裏出來的,當然歸我!” 老公說:“笑話!簡直是胡說八道。取款機裏取出來的錢能歸取款機嗎? 還不是誰插卡歸誰!” Who owns the kid A couple is divorcing each other and the wife said “the child came out of me so it is obvious mine” and the husband said: “everyone knows that whoever put their card into the ATM machine owns the cash coming out, and it was I who did the magic” CLOSE PowerPoint Presentation: 448 English 比快 小約翰跟幾個男孩在學校院子裡聊天。每個小孩都在炫耀他們的父親多麼偉大。 第一個說: " 嗯,我父親跑得最快。他可以射出箭,同時開始跑,我告訴你,他可以比箭更早到目的地! " 第二個說: " 哈!你認為這就快嗎?我父親是一個獵人,他可以射槍,在子彈之前到達目的地 ! " 小強尼聽了其他兩個男孩,搖了搖頭。他說: " 抱歉,朋友們 ... ... 我的爸爸應該是最快的了。他是一名公務員。他會 4:30 下班, … 但他 3:45 已回到家 ! " PowerPoint Presentation: CLOSE How fast Little Johnny was talking to a couple of boys in the school yard. Each was bragging about how great their fathers are. The first one said: “Well, my father runs the fastest. He can fire an arrow, and start to run, I tell you, he gets there before the arrow!” The second one said: “Ha! You think that’s fast! My father is a hunter. He can shoot his gun and be there before the bullet!” Little Johnny listened to the other two boys and shook his head. He then said: “Sorry, dudes… but MY DAD is the fastest. He’s a civil servant. He stops working at 4:30,… and he’s home by 3:45!” 448 PowerPoint Presentation: 449 English 善良的人 一天一名男子和一位朋友正在在當地的高爾夫球場玩高爾夫。其中有一位正準備把球切上果嶺,正好看到很長的出殯的行列走到路邊。他立刻停止揮桿、 脫下他的球帽、閉上他的眼睛禱告。他的朋友說: " 哇,這是我所見過的最周到而感人的動作。你真是個善良的人。 " 該男子回答: " 是的,我們畢竟結婚三十五年。” PowerPoint Presentation: 449 CLOSE A kind man A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: "Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man." The man then replies: "Yeah, well we were married 35 years." PowerPoint Presentation: 450 English 計程車司機 在紐約城一名女士和她十歲的兒子乘坐在一輛計程車。天下著雨,所有妓女都站在雨篷下。 " 媽媽, " 男孩問道, " 這些婦女在幹什麼? " " 她們正在等待她們的丈夫下班, " 她回答說。計程車司機轉過身來說: " 哎呀夫人,妳為什麼不告訴他真相?他們是妓女,小弟弟!她們為錢和男人做愛。 " ,小男孩的眼睛睜得大大的說, " 媽媽,是真的嗎? " ,他的母親氣得咬牙但只好點點頭。 幾分鐘後,孩子問道, " 媽媽,這些婦女生的小孩都在那裡? " " 大多數人都成為計程車司機, " 她說。 PowerPoint Presentation: Riding in New York A woman and her ten-year-old son were riding in a cab in New York City. It was raining and all the hookers were standing under the awnings. “Mom,” said the boy, “what are all those women doing?” “They’re waiting for their husbands to get off work,” she replied. The cabbie turns around and says, “Geez lady, why don’t you tell him the truth? They’re hookers, boy! They have sex with men for money.” The little boy’s eyes get wide and he says, “Is that true, Mom?” His mother, glaring hard at the cabbie, answers in the affirmative. After a few minutes, the kid asks, “Mom, what happens to the babies those women have?” “Most of them become cab drivers,” she said. CLOSE 450 PowerPoint Presentation: yy jokes 441-450

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