Yes You Can have a Happy Marriage

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Published on September 30, 2015

Author: Kigume

Source: authorstream.com

Yes You Can have a Happy Marriage : Yes You Can have a Happy Marriage Most marriages fail because of four things: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and withdrawal. Wednesday, September 30, 2015 1 Slide 2: Negative behaviors destroy a marriage over time. One negative word or deed cancels out twenty acts of kindness . It takes hard, difficult, and long-lasting choices to make a marriage work and to make it a happy relationship, full of joy. Wednesday, September 30, 2015 2 Slide 3: A crisis doesn't mean the marriage is over. Crises are like storms: loud, scary and dangerous. But to get through a storm you have to keep driving. A crisis can be a new beginning. It's out of pain that great people and marriages are produced . Wednesday, September 30, 2015 3 Slide 4: God wants happy marriages. Children will imitate in their future marriages the things that we act out in our marriages today. They will imitate the way the wife responds to her husband and the way the husband responds to his wife. Wednesday, September 30, 2015 4 Slide 5: In a world full of “my rights” and “my opinions” and “my ways,” it is difficult to think about others. We mostly think only about ourselves. Marriage is more than living together legally. It is saying to God, “I am willing to learn how to respond to my loved one as You have responded to me and as your W ord teaches me to respond to You.” Wednesday, September 30, 2015 5 Slide 6: When there is a crucial or important difference of opinion on how to do something or on what to do, both husband and wife must think about each other and the effects of their decisions. That requires that each person work at trying to see the situation from the other’s viewpoint, not their own. Wednesday, September 30, 2015 6 Slide 7: I do not have the right just to think about this from my viewpoint alone. I must think about this from my spouse’s viewpoint, and I must try to hold his or her viewpoint as just as important as mine, or even as more important than mine. Wednesday, September 30, 2015 7 Slide 8: When I entered into this covenant marriage relationship, I chose to give up thinking only from my own viewpoint . My wife must be fully involved in all that I do for the marriage. This has greatly reduced any conflicts in our 38 years of marriage. Wednesday, September 30, 2015 8 Slide 9: Do not capitalize on the failures of your spouse 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 ‘Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance’. (NLT) Wednesday, September 30, 2015 9 Slide 10: Real love has no pride in it. It does not work at being right at the expense of the other person. Love does not have to be right, or parading up front. Love is humble because love has decided. Wednesday, September 30, 2015 10 Slide 11: Love does not think about the evil we have done. Love does not have a good memory. Love releases the past and considers it over, never to be brought up again. Real love, the kind God brings into our life, does not hold grudges. Wednesday, September 30, 2015 11 Slide 12: Successful couples have learned to resist holding grudges and bringing up the past. They remember that they married an imperfect person — and so did their spouse. How couples think and what they believe about their spouse affects how they perceive the other. What they expect and how they treat their spouse matters greatly. Wednesday, September 30, 2015 12 Ways to a Happy Marriage: Ways to a Happy Marriage 1. Apologize always. Never justify yourself A simple heart-felt apology works wonders - it's really nothing short of miraculous. A sincere apology sounds like this; "I'm sorry for what I did; it was wrong. And I'm really sorry for hurting you. Will you please forgive me?"  Wednesday, September 30, 2015 13 Slide 14: 2. Confide in your spouse 
 Unfortunately, many married people today are unwilling  to be vulnerable with their spouses.  To improve your marriage, be honest with your spouse;   share your fears and insecurities . Doing this improves understanding, closeness, and intimacy.   Wednesday, September 30, 2015 14 Slide 15: 3. Listen to your spouse 
 Listening  keeps things running smoothly. So listen to your spouse and acknowledge their point  of view; this demonstrates love and respect.  Listening to your spouse sounds like this: "I see what you mean - I guess I never looked at it that way." Wednesday, September 30, 2015 15 Slide 16: 4. Take responsibility 
 When marriage problems arise, BOTH spouses are usually to blame; so getting defensive doesn't help.  Wednesday, September 30, 2015 16 Slide 17: 5. Find common ground
 Nothing destroys happiness faster than focusing on your differences.  Focus on what you have in common.  You could say: "I believe we share the same goal(s) even though we don't always agree on the 'how'." Wednesday, September 30, 2015 17 Slide 18: 6. Keep on improving 
 Stop repeating the same old mistakes – interrupt unhealthy patterns by replacing them with healthy behaviors. Improve.  Don't just make promises to quiet your spouse.  Wednesday, September 30, 2015 18 Slide 19: Commit right now to start practicing the above ways in your marriage. Our marriages are supposed to grow every year as we have continued to know each other more but we must be prepared to grow. Wednesday, September 30, 2015 19 Slide 20: AVOID the FOUR ills of marriage: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and W ithdrawal. YES YOU CAN HAVE A HAPPY MARRIAGE. The onus is yours. Wednesday, September 30, 2015 20

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