Vikas soni

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Information about Vikas soni
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Published on February 27, 2014

Author: socialscribblers

Source: slideshare.net

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This article has been written for Techkriti Blog for a Cause Contest.
The topic was:
Keeping in mind the recent developments in our country, write a political satire.

For more information visit: http://www.socialscribblers.in/techkriti-blog-cause/

Let’s Play Politics buddy! The season has arrived and yet another awesome session of muckraking, name-calling, riots, protests, violence, bribery, booth capturing, useless discussions and alluring the electorate will begin. In this atmosphere of phenomenal positive energy flowing all around, the people have eagerly waited for this day when promises are made to them. The beloved politicians come to offer them hope- the only commodity that buys votes free of cost. Others like liquor, food, subsidies etc. costs them heavily you see, so it’s good to be economically efficient. Great to know our politicians love the country’s economic stability so much. In the end it is all a game of selling hopes. Party with best marketing skills finally wins. For those of you, who think it is a child’s play, let me be absolutely clear- it is not easy to sell hopes. You need to carefully draft the hopes in a manner, that your hope gets more vote than your political

rival’s. When the opposition is selling reservations, you need to be innovative enough to draft out schemes for religious minorities. When the other party is offering the people jobs, you need to be very precise and organize your support on the basis of linguistic brotherhood. When someone is offering people free meals, oh God, you have to find ways to offer free liquor. Nothing else works when food is on the platter, except booze of course! Indian voters just love to get fooled. There is no choice. They live with least developed infrastructure for 5 years and then suddenly various groups of men come to their house with posters, trumpets and drums, warning them that their religion is in danger, their fellow brethren are being killed, and their future is insecure. Poor voter, Aam aadmi if you wish, is perplexed. He doesn’t know what to do. In this confusion he picks up a sword and walk furiously, head held high, to kill his own neighbors with whom he used to share tea just a week back. But what else could he have done? His religion was in danger after all! Oh man I love this commotion. It’s breathtaking to see my fellow citizens discussing which political party to vote for in this coming election. Actually in India it is not a clash of political parties per se. We prefer to blindly follow individuals. Ideas are boring, they can’t speak, they can’t run into controversy, they can’t play the blame game. It’s the individual who does. Indeed we have a very efficient list of great personalities this time around. On one hand there is our favorite Chacha Nehru’s party. It is his great grandson- Rahul Gandhi, who is there to take the lead now. Rahul baba is very sweet, and a cute little child at heart. It is amazing how he isn’t getting old since ages. He has been portrayed as a voice of young India since time immemorial. But don’t be mistaken. He has had the best training on how to be a P.M. What else does Sonia aunty do anyway (Other than ordering MMS on which freebies to announce)? Then the only big opposition is the RSS affiliated BJP. The new hot favorite of young Indians, who tirelessly rant NaMo-NaMo day and night on the social media, Narendra Modi has become no less than a revolution

in himself. His newly adapted slogan of five T’s is like a torch guiding the young Indians into the path of heaven- a richer heaven! Amidst all this ranting and chanting, the Muslims of India are a bit skeptical. They still haven’t forgotten the massacre that took place in Godhra in 2002. I mean come on! Get a life. Less than 1000 people died in those riots and only a few hundred rapes took place (These figures are from government sources, and we all know they are always so reliable). What is so big in it? This happens in our country all the time. There is nothing new. What if NaMo was the CM that time? What if he voluntarily didn’t take any action? He also had to secure the votes of his Hindutva fanatic voters, right? Anyhow Muslims form just 13% of Indian population so politicians can easily corner them aside or give them reservation for appeasement to calm their nerves. Oh boy! Did you see the Delhi elections this time? What the hell were a group of party workers trying to achieve by sweeping the streets of Delhi with their brooms? They could have easily won more seats by just promising the voters free laptops, free furniture, new homes and 100 pizzas. What’s the need of visiting the slums during the nights in this freaking cold winter? They have already given free water and subsidized electricity anyway. Last I heard they were going to sit on a protest. Well, I understand it’s their strategy to wipe out activists from the city by playing civil society’s role themselves. Intelligent people they are, and sound in economic policy too. Though they haven’t declared their policy on any important matter as of yet, but so what? They can still come handy if you run out of brooms. There are many more regional parties in India. They constantly threaten of forming a new monster called the Third-Front to wipe away the duopoly of Gandhi family and RSS. They are pretty good at plucking the chords of caste, region, language, community etc within Indian voters. This is precisely how they came to power to be sure. Everyone can relate to them in one way or the other. That’s what diversity is called in its true sense. They make the life of Indian voters very comfortable. It clearly becomes so evident that if you belong to this community then you have

to vote for this party and so on. So easy and convenient. No confusion at all. I am certain that the most intelligent person will come to power after the elections. He will have the talent to pluck the right string at the right time. That is exactly what is needed ultimately. No need for issue based elections. For the true utilization of democratic structure, personality cults have to be on focus. That’s precisely how the country will succeed. - Vikas Soni

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