Published on April 12, 2012
One of the number one reasons that women of child rearing age become entrepreneurs is to be available asparents to their kids. If the choices are for parents to work outside of the home, stay home without working, or become entrepreneurs with flexible work schedules andtime to be with family, then the later provides the greatest opportunities for children in these homes to learn and grow.
However, there are always things we have to be careful about saying to our kids. No matter which role weve taken on.
Heres a list of the Top 5 Things You Should NEVER Say toYour Kids. At least, not unless you want them to be highly successful, productive citizens as adults.
"I made a mistake" - Admitting that we make mistakes to our children is an excellent way to teach them thatmistakes are OK and a natural part of our growth process.If you never tell your children of your own mistakes, they will grow up to think you shouldnt admit your failures.
"I need help" - We all need help at times. Sometimes weneed just a little help, like cleaning up around the house; and sometimes we need a lot of help, like getting a bankloan. Sharing these times with your children will let them know that it is necessary and valuable to ask for help when they need it.
"Im sorry" - Sharing an apology with your child whenyouve made a mistake may just make you look weak and vulnerable. You may end up losing any respect your child had for you. Oh wait, it may also allow them to see how an apology works and allow them to gain respect for youbecause you are showing them respect. Trust comes when two people can be honest and with trust, comes the ability to listen and accept direction.
"Ive lost my job" - Never, NEVER, NEVER tell your child about your problems. After all, they are just kids. They cant take the stress! OK, Im calling Bull Poopy on this one. Parents, your kids can take a lot more than you thinkthey can. Besides, if you shield them from all of lifes stressuntil the day they turn 18 and move out of the house, how do you expect them to actually LEARN to deal with that stress? Be age appropriate but be honest. Kids shouldknow whats going on in your world so they can learn from those lessons right along with you.
"Our bills are this much" - Kids should not be part of thehousehold finances. Its none of their business. Yep, andhowd that work for you when your parents kept you out of the world of money? Lets be real. Our schools justarent teaching our kids about money so that means we have to. And if we dont know enough about money to teach it to our kids, then we better figure out how to learn. Ignorance is no excuse and will only end up continuing the horrible cycle of financial instability.
Yes, this is a bit of an off-based way to get you to understand that its OK to be honest with your kids. Not only is it OK, but its crucial to opening up that line ofcommunication that will help them grow and learn as well as be willing to come to you when they need valuable advice (like when it would be OK to have sex). The more you talk to your kids about whats going on in your world (being age appropriate), the more they will be comfortable sharing whats going on in theirs. And the more they will be prepared for the real world when it comes screaming at them full force.
When to Seek a Coach
Sometimes we need extra help. Consider asking for help in the following situations.
You arent sure what is age appropriate for your children.
Your spouse isnt on board with what you want to present to your children.
You have no idea how to start the conversation.
Your kids have responded in an unexpected way.
Did your parents openly share some of these things with you when you were a child?How has it affected you today?
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