Published on November 18, 2012
Self in Interpersonal Communication Chapter 3, Part 1 Devito 10th ed.
Chapter 3 Who areyou….really?
Objectives: Self-Concept1. Define self-concept; explain how it develops.2. Explain how culture influences self-concept.3. Define & give examples of ego boosters/busters.4. List & explain 5 characteristics of self-concept.5. Define self-fulfilling prophecy & give example.6. Explain why self-concept is often distorted.7. Suggest how a distorted self-concept can be changed.
I. Self-Concept A. Definition 1. How you view yourself; self-image 2. Feelings & thoughts about your strengths, weaknesses 3. Relatively stable set of perceptions you hold of yourself: emotional states, talents, likes, dislikes, values, roles, etc.
B. How the Self-Concept Develops 1. Others’ Images of You a. Looking Glass Self b. Reflected Appraisal: c. Ego Boosters & Ego Busters 2. Social Comparisons a. Superior/Inferior b. Same/Different 3. Cultural Teachings 4. Your Own Interpretations & Experiences
Sources of Self Concept Other’s Images Social Self Your Concept Interpretations &Comparisons Evaluations Cultural Teachings
Ego Boosters/Ego Busters Exercise• Recall an “ego booster” who helped enhance your self-esteem.• Recall an “ego buster” from your life.• Recall a time when you were an “ego booster” to someone else.• Recall a time when you were an “ego buster”.
Cultural Influences on Self-Concept Individualistic Cultures Collectivistic Cultures• Self is separate, unique • Emphasize extended indiv; should be inde- families or in-groups; pendent, self-sufficient “we” orientation• Should take care of self • Should care for extend- & immediate family ed family before self• Reward individual • Reward contribution to achievement; value group goals; group individual decisions; decisions valued; individual credit/ blame shared credit/blame• Value autonomy, youth, • Value--duty, order, tra- change, individual dition, age, group se- security, equality curity, status, hierarchy
C. Characteristics of Self-Concept The self-concept: 1. affects communication. 2. is subjective. 3. resists change. 4. is flexible, if it is healthy. 5. is multi-dimensional
1. Self-concept affects communication. High Self-Esteem Low Self-Esteem1. Likely to think well of others 1. Likely to disapprove of others2. Expect to be accepted 2. Expect to be rejected3. Evaluate own performance 3. Evaluate own performance more favorably less favorably4. Perform well when being 4. Perform poorly when being watched watched5. Work harder for those who 5. Work harder for undemand- demand high standards ing less critical people6. Feel comfortable with those 6. Feel threatened by those perceived as superior perceived as superior7. Able to defend self against 7. Have difficulty defending self criticism against criticism; easily influenced
Self-Fulfilling Prophecy1. We make a prediction based on a belief.2. We act toward person/situation as if prediction/belief is true.3. BECAUSE we act as if the belief is true, it becomes true.4. We observe this effect, which strengthens our belief.
2. The self-concept is subjective. a. Obsolete information b. Distorted feedback c. Emphasis on perfection d. Social expectations: Modesty vs. “Egotism”
3. The self-concept resists change. a. Cling to existing self-concept, even when evidence shows it’s obsolete b. Cling to negative outmoded self-perception—whether negative or positive c. Can produce self-delusion and lack of growth
“Can’t” Exercise• Write a sentence which states something you can’t do.• Cross out the “can’t” and replace it with “won’t” or “haven’t yet”.• How does this change the meaning of this sentence?• What does this have to do with self- concept?
4. A healthy self-concept is flexible. a. We change: -from moment to moment. -from situation to situation. -over longer periods of time. a. We need to constantly adjust our self-concept as new data becomes available.
Changing the Self-Concept• Have realistic expectations• Strive for a realistic perception of yourself• Have the will to change• Develop the skill to change
The self-concept is multidimensional.
5. The self-concept is multidimensional. a. PRIVATE ME 1) Perceived self 2) Person you believe yourself to be. b. IDEAL ME 1) Desired self 2) Picture of person you wish you were c. PUBLIC ME 1) Presenting self 2) Face you try to show others
Defining My Three Selves Exercise• Divide a sheet of paper into 3 equal parts. Label the first column, “Perceived Self”. Write words and/or draw pictures that best describe the person you know yourself to be.• Label the second area, “Desired Self,” and repeat the process using words/pictures that describe the way you would like to be.• Label the third area, “Presenting Self.” Us words/pictures that represent the way to present yourself to others.• Reflect on similarities & differences in the 3 areas. (Out/In, 4th ed. P. 60)
Objectives: Self-Awareness & Self-Esteem1. Explain the Johari window.2. Compare & contrast Johari window for two different relationships.3. Discuss rewards & risks of self-disclosure.4. List & explain guidelines for self-disclosure.5. List & explain guidelines for responding to self-disclosures of others.
II. Self-Awareness A. Johari Window -- a tool that represents your communication behaviors Goal is to be as open a communicator as appropriate.
Known to Not Known Self to SelfKnown toOthers Open Blind Self SelfNotKnown Hidden Unknownto Others Self Self Johari Window
III. Self-Esteem – your ownevaluation of worth CLUES? A. Attack your self- destructive beliefs. B. Engage in self-affirmation. C. Seek out nourish- ing people. C. Work on projects that will result in success.
IV. Self-Disclosure --sharing previously unknownpersonal information withanother
A. Factors Influencing Self- Disclosure 1. Who You Are 2. Culture 3. Gender 4. Your Listeners 5. Topic
Weigh the rewards against therisks before deciding to self- disclose.
B. Rewards of Self-Disclosure 1. Get to know self better 2. Increases communication effectiveness 3. Increases physiological health
C. Dangers of Self-Disclosure 1. Personal risks 2. Relational risks 3. Professional risks Experiential Vehicle, Devito Website
Guidelines for Self-Disclosure• Consider the: – motivation. – appropriateness. – disclosures of the other. – possible burdens.
Guidelines for Responding toSelf-Disclosures of Others • Use active listening skills. • Support & reinforce the discloser. • Keep disclosures confidential. • Do not use disclosures as weapons.
Objectives: Apprehension1. Define communication apprehension & distinguish between state & trait apprehension.2. List 7 apprehensive behaviors.3. List & explain 7 influences on apprehension.4. Explain how cultural differences impact apprehension.5. Briefly describe 3 apprehension management theories.
V. ApprehensionA. Nature of comm. apprehension 1. Comm. apprehension--fear/anxiety about interaction 2. Trait apprehension--fear of comm., regardless of situation 3. State apprehension--specific to a given comm. situation
B. Apprehensive Behaviors 1. Decrease in frequency, strength, & likelihood of engaging in comm. 2. Less willing to volunteer 3. Lack of satisfaction w/dating 4. Talk less & avoid leadership 5. Disclose less 6. Avoid jobs requiring comm. 7. Less likely to get job interviews
C. Influences on comm. apprehension 1. Degree of evaluation 2. Subordinate status 3. Degree of conspicuousness 4. Degree of unpredictability 5. Degree of dissimilarity 6. Prior success & failures 7. Lack of comm. skills & experience
D. Culture & apprehension 1. Apprehension increases w/unfamiliarity 2. Higher if you have stereotypes, prejudices 3. Situation influences--ambiguity, status, perception of evaluation
E. Apprehension Management Theories 1. Cognitive Restructuring--change unreal- Restructuring istic beliefs which cause fear of failure 2. Systematic Desensitization--unlearn Desensitization apprehension--creating hierarchy of behaviors leading up to desired behavior 3. Skill Acquisition-- Acquisition a. Prepare & practice b. Focus on success c. Familiarize yourself w/situation d. Try to relax
The End Presenting Self?Appropriate Self-Disclosure? NOT!!!!!
Surveys/Exercises• *Weighing Rewards & Costs of Self- Disclosure• Self-Concept Scales• Locus of Control Scales• Self-Fulfilling Prophecy cartoons & stories• Self-Actualization Survey• Self-Disclosure Survey• Self-Monitoring Survey