onehealth0320beingwithchange

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Published on March 20, 2014

Author: missymorcom

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How to be with change during uncertain times: WEBINAR FOR ONEHEALTH.COM MARCH 20 TH 2014 BY CLAIRE GILLENSON, M.A. How to be with change during uncertain times PowerPoint Presentation: Change. Flux. Life is impermanent -learn to live in the land of not knowing -sometimes things fall apart in order to come together -do you allow yourself to be in the darkness (it’s not a bad thing) -why NOT you? What happens when you let go of fear and pain? Sit in the same room with CHANGE? Would you face fear head on if you knew FREEDOM was on the other side? You can choose in or the universe chooses for you (as in patterns repeating, again and again, or the hard lessons) you can choose. Face change with grace and ease vs. pain : What happens when you let go of fear and pain? Sit in the same room with CHANGE? Would you face fear head on if you knew FREEDOM was on the other side? You can choose in or the universe chooses for you (as in patterns repeating, again and again, or the hard lessons) you can choose. Face change with grace and ease vs. pain “Faith is the art of holding onto things your reason has once accepted in spite of your changing moods.” ~C.S. Lewis~ Trust= Letting go of control Accepting= Not trying for a different outcome Present= being here and now vs. the past or the future Stop. Spending another minute wishing things were different, longing for another ending, Stop. Just be. :  Trust= Letting go of control Accepting= Not trying for a different outcome Present= being here and now vs. the past or the future Stop. Spending another minute wishing things were different, longing for another ending, Stop. Just be. “Faith is the art of holding onto things your reason has once accepted in spite of your changing moods.” ~C.S. Lewis~ PowerPoint Presentation: Learn to live in the land of not knowing: I want it. I want it so bad. I want it now= control. Control vs. trust. (we really have no control in reality) Can you speak your mind and let the rest go? How it’s received, judged. You can be pissed. It’s okay. But stop trying to fix, change, resisting what’s already happened. (=denial) SPEAK IN POSSIBILITIES INSTEAD Tip #1 Learn to live in the land of not knowing when things are rocky (control is an illusion anyhow) PowerPoint Presentation: Functional/Optimistic Denial in Order to Cope Theory. Person A has terminal cancer. They know they are dying. But they still have hope for a brighter tomorrow (even if temporary) Disfunctional Denial This is not happening. If I ignore it, it will go away. Then comes…. JUDGING VICTIMHOOD RESENTMENT BLAME Learn to live in the land of not knowing part 2… Denial. It’s okay to be in the darkness for a while, then choose next steps or the universe chooses for you (IE as in hard lessons) There’s functional and then dysfunctional denial PowerPoint Presentation: Change can be hard. Sometimes we stay even though we know it is not serving us Staying into the status quo can be more comfortable. Can you think of a time when the falling apart led you to greater good? Perhaps your sobriety? Stop clinging onto what has worked in the past. Life is fluid, ever changing. Stop the judgments, blame. Especially fear. Remember that 90% of fear is unfounded. Based on thoughts and opinions, not facts. EXERCISE: "Be grateful to everyone” is about making peace with the aspects of ourselves that we have rejected. By doing that, we also make peace with the people we dislike. Other people trigger the karma we haven't worked out. They give us a chance to befriend all of that old stuff we carry around like a backpack. It is actually a gift to remind us to look at our own neurosis so we can let them go! ~Pema Chodron~ Tip #2 Sometimes things have to fall apart in order to come together Exercise: Be grateful to everyone. Make a list of people we don’t like and the qualities we don’t like about them. It’s usually a mirror about what we don’t like about ourselves. It’s time to befriend them. See if you can find one thing you do like. PowerPoint Presentation: What if it isn’t good or bad or ? What if we stop labeling change? Labeling what is hurting us? What if it is just energy? STUCK ENERGY What if you sit with your pain, be with it, be broken, be open to it? What if, sh** doesn’t happen to you, Life just happens. What if… WHY NOT YOU? Tip #3 Can you allow yourself to be in the darkness? PowerPoint Presentation: “Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.” ~Brene Brown “What happens when people open their hearts?"..."They get better.” ~Haruki Murakami PowerPoint Presentation: Love is not something we give or get; it is something that we nurture and grow, a connection that can only be cultivated between two people when it exists within each one of them – we can only love others as much as we love ourselves. Shame, blame, disrespect, betrayal, and the withholding of affection damage the roots from which love grows. Love can only survive these injuries if they are acknowledged, healed and rare.” ― Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are Here’s the deal-lio: If life has dealt you some losses, and you are not liking it so much, you can always go back and write a letter to the parts that are hurting to heal it. It’s important to recognize the here and now so instead of living in a land of REGRET you are stepping into LOVE. LOVE. Not blame. Not wishing would have, could have, wishing, yearning, longing. Tip #4: Own your story so you can be more in present time Be honest, gritty, real, without And most importantly you can RE-WRITE IT. PowerPoint Presentation: Write a letter to the parts that hurts still Write a love note to the people who’ve hurt you. Realize there past, their lineage, upbringing Forgive. Forgive doesn’t mean making it is okay. Change isn’t a good or bad thing. It just IS. HEAL THE PAST SO YOU CAN BE PRESENT TO THE NOW. PowerPoint Presentation: If you’ve enjoyed this, go sign up for the newsletter At clairegillenson.com For more information, contact: Claire Gillenson, M.A. grief-o-logist 310-314-9837 claire@clairegillenson.com www.clairegillenson.com

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