Monsters Are On The Loose! Protect Your Site!

50 %
50 %
Information about Monsters Are On The Loose! Protect Your Site!

Published on October 28, 2013

Author: WebMeUpSEO



Halloween is a scary and fun time for SEOs...until they realize their site is invaded by dangerous monsters. Get to know all of them here:

SITE MONSTERS Find and fight them this halloween!

While you are getting ready for Halloween, a dozen nasty monsters do evil stuff to your web-site. Meet the monsters Let’s see who they are and how to fight them!

TOTAL KAPUT (BLACKOUT MONSTER) Stinkiness index: Known as: Page not available (Error 4xx or 5xx) What it does: This monster loves apocalypses and prophecies about the end of the world. It is often found frolicking on websites with major server response code errors (4xx or 5xx).

TOTAL KAPUT (BLACKOUT MONSTER) What to do: Make sure your web host has high uptime rates and your website is available most of the time (having a 200 HTTP response code would be ideal).

REDIRECT FOODIE Stinkiness index: Known as: Page uses a redirect other than 301 What it does: What looks confusing to the search engines is paradise to this monster. Redirect Foodie is sick and tired of conscientious webmasters who always use search engine-friendly redirects (301s). “Give me variety!” it cries, and preys on sites with something different such as 302, 303 or 304 redirects.

REDIRECT FOODIE What to do: If you need to move a page to a new location, be sure to use a 301 (moved permanently) redirect. This way you won’t see Redirect Foodie on your site.

ANGRY BOUNCER (MACHINE KILLER) Stinkiness index: Known as: Page restricted from indexing What it does: Angry Bouncer displays rage against search machines. It normally infects websites that match its life philosophy and restrict search engines from indexing their webpages.

ANGRY BOUNCER (MACHINE KILLER) What to do: If you have a robots.txt file, make sure the pages you want to appear in search are open for indexing. Plus, ensure that the code of your pages is free of noindex meta tags.

CENTIPEDE MONSTROSITY Stinkiness index: Known as: Page title is over 65 characters long What it does: This monster is naturally attracted to webpages with titles as long as its never-ending body. Indeed, birds of feather flock together.

CENTIPEDE MONSTROSITY What to do: Keep the titles of your pages under 65 characters long (with spaces). This way not only will you get rid of Centipede Monstrosity, but also ensure your titles are displayed in full in search results.

BULLSHIT SPINNER Stinkiness index: Known as: Too many external outgoing links What it does: This monster is an unconventional type of arachnid that uses Internet links to make its web. It is often found on webpages with many outgoing links to other sites which it can use as building material.

BULLSHIT SPINNER What to do: Thing is, webpages with a large number of external outgoing links don’t look too good to search engines either. So, to ward off the monster and to please search engines, keep the number of links to other domains to a minimum.

INSANE CHATTERBOX Stinkiness index: Known as: Page meta description is over 165 characters long What it does: Don’t get this monster started, she is insane! Chatterbox thinks meta descriptions are people and you can have conversations with them. And, the longer a meta description is, the more interesting it must be to converse with.

INSANE CHATTERBOX What to do: If your meta description is less than 165 characters long, it’s likely to present little to no interest for Insane Chatterbox. So keeping it short will help you deal with this monster.

META PRETENDER Stinkiness index: Known as: Page is missing meta title/description What it does: This monster thinks the shape of its body resembles the letter “M”. Besides, it has a secret dream of acting as meta data one day. So, whenever it sees that a webpage has no meta title or description, it fills in the gap – hoping you won’t notice.

META PRETENDER What to do: Be sure to create compelling, original meta titles and meta descriptions for all of your site’s pages. This will rob Meta Pretender of its chance.

INCOHERENT JOE Stinkiness index: Known as: No H1-H5 tags found on page What it does: Incoherent Joe hates clarity – that’s how it got its name. And, not only does it like being incomprehensible itself, but also feels at home on websites that make little sense because they lack headings or subheadings (H1-H5 tags).

INCOHERENT JOE What to do: The recipe to fighting this monster lies in specifying H1-H5 tags on your webpages. If Joe sees those in your code, it will consider your site as boring as Metropolitan Transportation usage rules, and will stay away from it.

FAT MATT Stinkiness index: Known as: Page size overly large (>100 KB) What it does: Fat Matt’s motto in regards to cyber food is “the more the better”. This monster doesn’t really care what you have on your site, as long as there is plenty of stuff on it!

FAT MATT What to do: Even though having a content-rich site is a great thing in most cases, make sure the size of your individual pages doesn’t go over the top!

ONE-EYED MONSTER Stinkiness index: Known as: Images missing alt text attributes What it does: One-Eyed Monster lost an eye in a street fight years ago. So, what really irritates this creature is when people specify alternative text for their images, which reminds it about its poor eye-sight. Hence, it mostly dwells on sites with no image alt texts where it can pretend to see images perfectly with its one eye.

ONE-EYED HOW TO FIX MONSTER What to do: A sure-fire way to get rid of One-Eyed monster is to have alternative text attributes specified for all your images.

SKINNY BONES Stinkiness index: Known as: Very few words on page What it does: Skinny Bones is an anorexic monster that thinks dieting and losing weight are the only two things worth doing in life. So, it often starts living on sites that don’t have many words on them.

SKINNY HOW TO FIX BONES What to do: Rich textual content is a big turn-off for this monster. If you have a lot of textual information in the body of your page, Skinny Bones isn’t likely to make permanent residence there.

Anti-SOCIAL SUE Stinkiness index: Known as: Very few social signals to page What it does: Anti-Social Sue is extremely shy. So, she prefers to occupy websites that haven’t been “liked” or shared on social media that much (so that nobody ever finds her).

ANTI-SOCIAL SUE What to do: Getting your webpages shared on such websites as Facebook, Twitter and Google+ will make your resource unattractive for Anti-Social Sue.


GO and Check your website for monsters here:

Add a comment

Related presentations

Presentación que realice en el Evento Nacional de Gobierno Abierto, realizado los ...

In this presentation we will describe our experience developing with a highly dyna...

Presentation to the LITA Forum 7th November 2014 Albuquerque, NM

Un recorrido por los cambios que nos generará el wearabletech en el futuro

Um paralelo entre as novidades & mercado em Wearable Computing e Tecnologias Assis...

Microsoft finally joins the smartwatch and fitness tracker game by introducing the...

Related pages

The Meatstinction Monster is on the Loose! Here’s How You ...

The Meatstinction monster is on the loose! ... Welcome Green Monsters! We're your online guide to making ... topics or articles written on this site.
Read more

Monster Cable - Headphones, Speakers, HDMI Cables and ...

Monster has been leading the way with innovation in Headphones, Speakers, HDMI Cables, and Power Solutions for nearly four decades. Head Monster Noel Lee ...
Read more

Super Games - Monsters Games

Monsters Games. Earth Taken 2 ... Roly Poly Cannon Bloody Monsters ... Put your sniper scope on our Action Games, ...
Read more

Super Games - Monster Games

Monster Games. Dino Robot Tyrano ... Roly Poly Cannon Bloody Monsters ... Put your sniper scope on our Action Games, ...
Read more


Yu-Gi-Oh! TRADING CARD GAME - official website ... Let Loose the Bugs of War! ... or Gagagaguard to protect your monsters from destruction!
Read more

Wilderness | 2007scape Wiki | Fandom powered by Wikia

The Wilderness has monsters ... Contains more rocks in total than any free-to-play mining site. The Wilderness ... The range is calculated by taking your ...
Read more

Monster Games - Free Online Monster Games

Play an amazing collection of free monster games at ... all hell breaks loose! ... to good use as you protect your high throne from the monsters!
Read more

Halloween Monsters Ninja - Android Apps on Google Play

Halloween Monsters Ninja. ... don´t explode them or you will loose one live. Be a Ninja and protect your ... ©2016 Google Site Terms of ...
Read more