Published on December 11, 2017
slide 1: 9 Reasons Why Men Betray Their Wives One of the most common questions women ask when they find out that their husband betrayed them is "why" As a marriage counselor in Denver I have worked with hundreds if not thousands of couples over the years. One of the most common reasons that brings couples to my office is because one of the spouses jumped the fence and had an affair. One of the most common questions I hear when a woman slide 2: discovers that her husband betrayed her is "why" Well after several years of helping couples recover from betrayals here are nine of the most common reasons that cause men to betray. 1. Lack of romance It is assumed that being married is also being in love and being romantic. Unfortunately many women are victims of the "Prince Charming Fallacy" believing that their husbands should be the only romantic in the relationship and they need not be romantic with them in return. Well after several years some men just get tired of being the only ones trying to create romance and they go out to meet him somewhere else. 2. Lack of intimacy This is cliché but its true too. Many men marry in the expectation of having wonderful intimate relationships with their wives. But they may find that their sex life is scarce - or nonexistent. Because intimacy is an important part of the human being some men seek outside their marriages to fulfill this need. 3. Lack of love Men do not just have physical needs. They need love too. They want to feel cared for. They want to feel that the wife misses him when he walks away. When men do not feel loved some choose to divert from their marriages and find love in another person. 4. Emasculation Just as many women like beautiful clothes and crafts many men like to watch football or play cards with friends. After the wedding however many men feel that they can not express their manly sides without criticism from their wives. After years of being castrated in their masculinity in this way if they find someone who accepts them for what they are the betrayal follows. 5. Life changes People change. Or at least they should. You do not want your 50-year-old husband to act like hes 20. Unfortunately you can not predict all the many slide 3: ways a person can change in your life. You can not even predict every way you change yourself. Some men as they get older may realize that they are not as happy in their lives as they would like to be and make drastic changes that is they start a case. 6. False beliefs about masculinity As they grow up the boys watch TV shows that show that the "cool guy" wins every girl. They see the handsome school guy being pampered and always having a pretty girl on the side. As a result many men mistakenly believe that in order to be real men they have to be able to have all the girls. They continually try to hold on to not flirting and facilitating with women. But when men hold on for too long they eventually break loose and infidelity occurs. 7. Tired of the same old routine Humans need novelty. They need to move constantly and grow. Unfortunately many times in life people find themselves bored and unlucky in life - tired of the same old routine. Some men go out of their routines for extra novelty and excitement. 8. Tired of being pestered Women are usually more meticulous than men. For example women are much more likely to use a specific sponge for dishes and a totally separate sponge for cleaning but men use the same sponge for both. Instead of valuing these differences some women complain. When the husband or anyone feels ever criticized and devalued he may choose to seek out relationships to gain appreciation. 9. The dissatisfaction That sums it all up. Some men cheat - even if they are happy with their wives - because there are vulnerabilities in their relationships. These vulnerabilities are often a form of dissatisfaction - emotional practical intimate etc. While many of these reasons point to a wifes failures it is important to understand that a husbands betrayal is not his wifes fault. While many men may blame their partners a husband obviously has his share of blame for his slide 4: weak marriage and he must identify his role in letting the relationship deteriorate. He also needs to identify why he allowed himself to have an affair instead of choosing a number of other options available to handle an unhappy marriage. Together couples can rebuild their relationships to be happier and stronger than before. Read more how to make you understand your husband more. 5 reasons why your husband does not want to talk Wives need to pay special attention to their husbands in the conversations. Learning a few secrets can open the door to enriching your marital relationship. slide 5: Many but many women complain that they fail to engage their husbands in meaningful conversation. There are reasons why this happens. If you want to know the secret open your ears and heart and be ready to learn. Here are five reasons why men are much quieter. 1. You talk too much It is an affliction that strikes most women. Its not your fault - women were born to talk more than men. In fact most men speak only about 12000 words a day while most women speak more than 25000. However this does not entitle women to babble instead of containing their natural instinct. Anyone even eloquent women can control themselves. Anyone can learn to "bite the tongue." Of course there are times when this "gift of the word" can be put into full use such as at a lunch with her friends or at a baby shower. But not when talking to your husband or other couples. He needs his fair share of time to talk. slide 6: We saw the epitome of this at dinner one night. Several couples were gathered around the table discussing different issues. Someone asked one of the men what he thought about a subject. Before he had the chance to speak his wife said "I know more about what he thinks than he does" and there she chattered about what she thought his opinion would be. He whispered to the man at his side "She has no idea what I think." Fortunately another person in respect to this man interrupted his wife and said "Thank you but I really would like to know what Bob thinks." Bob was pleased and shared a vision that was valuable to all the guests. 2. You do not listen to him You should listen to what he has to say. It is important for him to know that you value his opinion. Ask him something and then let him talk. If he does not expose himself as much as you want - and he will not - just accept what he gives you. If you listen and try to understand what he is saying then he will be prone to contribute more in a new conversation. One frustrated man who can represent many said "I gave up on talking to my wife a long time ago. Why would I talk She does not care what I think. She only does what she really likes. So whats the problem "Even if you disagree with your husbands opinion listen to him. You may find that he may have an excellent solution to a problem.Remember that there is more than one way to look at something Let him be part of that look.If you do he will feel respected by you and even open up for more meaningful conversations. 3. You are very sure of your point of view One problem women have is the fear that if they allow their husbands to speak they will not take their point of view into account. So they continually interrupt well in the middle of the conversation to make it clear they have their own opinion. It comes armed with all the reasons why your point is the best. Wives often speak over their husbands speech. This means that he is sharing something with her but that she will take his ideas and put them in the bin replacing them with his own instead of fully listening to his. Who wants to have a conversation with someone who does this No one slide 7: Especially your husband. Also stop thinking youre always right. This is a very insecure position to be in. Prepare to be wrong. People like who they admit to be wrong and are willing to learn a better way. This reminds us of the statement made by a divorced man who described his first wife. He said "I finally found Miss Right. I just did not know that her first name was Always." Keep this in mind and let your sweetness flow more often and you will enjoy a happy marriage. This does not mean that you can not be right at various points. It just means that you need to split that right more evenly. Privileged his opinions and he will be more likely to do the same. 4. Do you want to talk at the wrong time Do not expect anything meaningful to get out of a chat in the chaos. To chaos we mean kids running around interrupting with their wants and needs or other distractions. Find a quiet time when you two may have a moment to share your ideas with one another. This could be during a dinner or a walk in the neighborhood. Sitting on a park bench drinking your favorite juice will be much easier. Also a quiet moment in your room works well. With the door closed. Closed doors should mean privacy time. Teach this to your children and they will not come running and yelling during their conversations. When the conversation is less serious it is good for the children to see them sitting together in the living room talking about a movie or something that you appreciate. This can help prepare the children for their own future marriage. They can see that both husband and wife have something to say to one another. 5. You do not know what to talk to him Many conversations are just about solving family problems. Although there needs to be time for this you also need to take time to talk about the most interesting and fun things. To help her start a more interesting conversation with her husband consider the following suggestions for a popular wedding slide 8: website. About what to say: Hobbies of your spouse or other interests. Plans for a future trip together. Memories of your childhood. Movies or television programs. Things you would like to experience or places you would like to visit. Something that you learned during the day or something that you did differently or new that day. Discuss your thoughts and feelings about the day. Share some things that made you happy during the day or for which you are grateful on that day. Ask some questions that start with "If you could" or "You already ..." or "Do you believe" Although news time children jobs money housework health problems in- laws friends etc. are important topics the two have to talk about try not to let them be the main focus of your conversations . slide 9: Conclusion The bottom line is take the time to talk to your husband. By using these points you can encourage him to be an active part of the conversation. Let him talk and listen to what he has to say this will make a world of difference in your marriage. Read more how to make you understand your husband more. How The Wife Should Treat Husband The 2 Perfect Ingredients slide 11: How should a wife treat her husband How should a woman treat a man How does a man like to be treated How to be a good wife Man do you like affection All the above questions and many similar ones are asked daily by wives who want to know how to please their husbands a little more especially those who have trouble marrying or are newly married still learning what their husband likes and how he likes. Let me tell you something: Man is very different from woman in regard to treatment If you want to know how to treat your husband so that he feels good about you inside the marriage give him the two ingredients that I will show you in this text. Respect: the man cherishes a lot for the respect he receives. Take everything out of a man just do not take away the respect because he can not live without it. Men have a need to be respected that goes beyond what any need for respect that a woman has. Understand one thing: Im not saying that woman does not like respect or does not need to be respected of course she needs to. But look to the side and see how many women are with men who beat them shout at them with clumsy words they are real nonsense machões they are disrespected in the extreme but still they continue with the face. Although there may be exceptions the man would not be able to live with a woman who did the same to him. Man has a very strong need to be respected it is part of a pride a masculine brio that only he has. He does not tolerate disrespect at home at work or in any environment he frequents. A disrespected man feels a nothing his life no longer makes sense. slide 12: However he may be disrespected everywhere but if when he arrives in the house he finds a woman who respects him considers his opinions treats him well then he finds the strength to continue fighting and he will love even more the woman who has. But what we have seen there are completely crazy women passing over the husband disrespecting his authority as a man of the house even wanting in many situations to take the part that belongs to him. Just as a man can not live without respect a woman can not live without attention without feeling loved. They are different needs. Does man need attention It does but its not as important to him as respect. Does the woman need respect Of course you need to but in the order of priorities even if you think not she puts attention love and affection above respect. If you only respect a woman but do not pay attention to her neither affection nor love you will lose her the same way. But with the man its different: you may even be very considerate but if he feels disrespected then you may end up losing your husband even though you are the most caring and considerate woman in the world Admiration: another thing essential for the man is a woman who admires him who prays for him who is his number 1 fan. The man who has a woman who sees him as "the maximum" feels alive. He knows that she trusts him that she admires the things he does the way he is. She values him values his work values his effort recognizes the small things he does the achievements he achieves. This need to be admired also makes all the difference in a mans head. What man would not want to be an idol Well he may not be famous to people in general but if he is famous at least for his wife he feels invigorated. slide 13: There is a woman who does not admire and does not respect her husband then asks herself why the marriage does not work because she herself does not work with anyone. Although he has men who are so rough and troglodytes difficult to be admired for his actions try to find something to admire in him. And remember that whoever got into that marriage with a guy like that was you. If you married even knowing he was like this its your fault and no one else to live with a man like that. You see Ive just talked about 2 fundamental emotional ingredients to know how a wife should treat her husband. Give respect and admiration to the man and you will have him much love attention and affection. But the treatment that the wife must give the husband goes beyond the emotional part also has the physical part. How a wife should treat her husband - Things that the husband seeks in his wife and that every man seeks in a woman to marry Housekeeping - A Home Woman Every man wants a woman who knows how to wash cook pass take care of a home. "Does the man want a wife or a maid" My daughter put something in your head youre a woman. Every man seeks these attributes in a woman there is no escape from them. Ask any man if he wants a sloppy person who does not know how to do anything in the house and you will find that he does not. This does not mean that you will do everything it just means that it is up to you to play this role. Even if you work out you can afford to pay a maid who has little time yet the man expects you to take care of things at home and with him. A maid does not replace you and if you let her replace you she will not replace you with household chores alone you understand what Im talking about. slide 14: If you do not want to take on your responsibilities as a woman in the home and in the relationship if you want to be paid as a feminist then you will be paying yourself you will lose your man to someone who does these things or will fail to find a good man with the which one would you be very happy. Learn quickly how a wife should treat her husband. The man will help you with homework. If he is intelligent he will know how to take some of the weight off his back but still take on these tasks as if they were his own as if he had no obligation at all for you are the woman This you learned to cook and probably cooks better than him. You as a woman are thorough know how to do these tasks better than anyone know how to leave a well-worn outfit well-seasoned and delicious food a very clean house. So my daughter if you do not know: To wash Pass Sweep Cook Take care of the house I think its good to be learning soon because every man admires this in a woman. He feels careful feels that there is a strong woman on his side. Sex Within a marriage sex is paramount. A couple that does not go well in bed does not go well at the wedding. The frequency of your sexual life is only up to you but if you stay too long without intimacy you will have problems. Usually the woman is most of the time responsible for the relationship without sex for long. She says she is not related that she has a headache that she is not in the weather etc. Woman understand one thing: if you do not give him sex theres going to come a daughter from the hood down the street and will give. slide 15: You are not required to have sex with your husband it may actually be that in a few days you are very unwell but when it happens every night every day you are putting your marriage in danger. Sometimes you may not even like it but once it gets hot the will comes. Do not put your marriage at risk because of something that is mandatory in marriage especially for the man. Now if youre not married to him its just girlfriend or fiancee do not give sex to him since you will be devaluing yourself and giving away your intimacy too early for those who have not yet proven that they really love you. Leave sex just for marriage. Submission Oops Now its serious right He spoke in submission the ears of the women stand and then say: "I will not submit to any man. Marriage is partnership both have to make the decisions together. " Yes its true marriage is partnership you should sit and talk and make all the important decisions. And there is no better within marriage. Man is not superior to woman and vice versa both have the same role and importance. However submission is not when man commands and you just obey. Submission had its sense completely changed nowadays mainly because of the feminist war which misrepresented the meaning of the word. Submission is a form of respect a way of telling the man that you respect his decisions that if he decides one thing you will not try to go over him he will not disrespect you. Youre not just a little programmed to follow commands but you must respect your husband as the man of the house someone whose opinion deserves credit more than any other. slide 16: Every time you try to impose your will over his stop doing something he asked for do not consider it and do the things in your head without consulting him you are sinning in submission you are being rebellious towards your husband within of marriage. Though both should walk together as equals understand the importance of respecting him with your submission in this sense I have just reported not in the sense that you are a puppy that serves no purpose other than obeying the masters orders. Submission is not it. You are not his property but your husband will appreciate it if you let him be the head of the relationship. You have no idea how much you earn from it in your marriage. There are still many things I could talk about but I leave those that are the most important and where many women have sinned with their husbands and partners. Want to be a good wife Watch all that be a caring wife capricious respectful and deep admirer of your husband your number one fan and he will never need any other on the street. Read more how to make you understand your husband more.