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Leighann Lord's Fresh Off the Synapse February 24-28, 2014

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Information about Leighann Lord's Fresh Off the Synapse February 24-28, 2014
Humor

Published on March 1, 2014

Author: LeighannLord

Source: slideshare.net

Description

Welcome to Fresh Off the Synapse! My weekly wrap up of my favorite jokes and commentary! Sometimes the jokes write themselves and when they don't I do.

@LeighannLord || VeryFunnyLady.com
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February 24-28, 2014

I'm performing at a country club tonight and I'm nervous. The last time I tried driving to a gig at a country club my GPS said: "Destination Unattainable." I need directions not judgmental comments about my social mobility. Fresh Off the Synapse @LeighannLord || VeryFunnyLady.com

Today I sped through New York City streets, changed lanes without signaling, and blew through stop signs. Later, I might eat pizza with a fork and break a friend out of jail with a phone call Fresh Off the Synapse @LeighannLord || VeryFunnyLady.com

Uganda’s president has signed a harsh anti-gay bill into law. Is this a bid to host the next winter Olympics? Fresh Off the Synapse @LeighannLord || VeryFunnyLady.com

This winter has cost me so much money I'm gonna claim it as a dependent and deduct it off my taxes. The IRS won't bat an eye at a black woman who's named her kid Polar Vortex. Fresh Off the Synapse @LeighannLord || VeryFunnyLady.com

Saudi Arabia appoints its first female editor-in-chief to a national newspaper. But will she be allowed to drive herself to work? Fresh Off the Synapse @LeighannLord || VeryFunnyLady.com

A new study says handling receipts may increase exposure to a chemical linked to neurological problems. Is that why doing my taxes drives me crazy? Fresh Off the Synapse @LeighannLord || VeryFunnyLady.com

My Dad asked me what hash-tagging is. Now I have to have The Talk with him about the Internet. They grow up so fast. Fresh Off the Synapse @LeighannLord || VeryFunnyLady.com

How many relationships would never get off the ground if instead of dinner and a movie the first date was going food shopping. Fresh Off the Synapse @LeighannLord || VeryFunnyLady.com

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