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How to make difficult conversations less difficult

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Information about How to make difficult conversations less difficult

Published on November 30, 2010

Author: JFDEELY

Source: slideshare.net

Description

Presentation given to the three Annual Review of Employment Law Conferences in Dublin run by Legal Island in Nov 2010.
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How to make difficult work conversations less difficult Helping organisations bring out the best in their talent Helping individuals make positive and rewarding career choices www.pinpoint.ie Prepared by John Deely BA MSc Occupational Psychologist with Pinpoint.

ABOUT PINPOINT Pinpoint – occupational psychologists and career management specialists Key Services: Coaching talent in organisations especially new managers and teams working under pressure Career direction and development for individuals off their own bat or as part of a redundancy programme Profiling – psychometric testing of talent

Pinpoint – occupational psychologists and career management specialists

Key Services:

Coaching talent in organisations especially new managers and teams working under pressure

Career direction and development for individuals off their own bat or as part of a redundancy programme

Profiling – psychometric testing of talent

Firstly, Gain Perspective

The Biggest Barrier One of the biggest barriers for having difficult conversations is anxiety caused by incorrect assumptions. Inner speech (or self talk) plays a central role in human consciousness. A key concept in the study of optimism, depression, healthy marriages.

One of the biggest barriers for having difficult conversations is anxiety caused by incorrect assumptions.

Inner speech (or self talk) plays a central role in human consciousness.

A key concept in the study of optimism, depression, healthy marriages.

Let go feelings & Provide Clarity

Avoid Avoidance “ Can’t do it today, too busy” “ I’ll catch it at the performance review” “ Maybe someone else will tell them” “ Their work was good today, so maybe it is ok” “ I don’t want to upset the apple cart” “ I can’t believe they could not be aware they are doing a bad job”

“ Can’t do it today, too busy”

“ I’ll catch it at the performance review”

“ Maybe someone else will tell them”

“ Their work was good today, so maybe it is ok”

“ I don’t want to upset the apple cart”

“ I can’t believe they could not be aware they are doing a bad job”

Questions to challenge yourself How will I be helping them? Why am I delaying this? Will delaying telling them about this problem make it go away? Would I like to know how I was doing? What am I assuming their reaction will be?

How will I be helping them?

Why am I delaying this?

Will delaying telling them about this problem make it go away?

Would I like to know how I was doing?

What am I assuming their reaction will be?

Give room to explore Avoid or don’t rush into Advising, Giving Solutions “ Why don’t you...” Ordering, Directing “ You have to...” Preaching, Moralising “ You’d better not...” Warning, Threatening “ You ought to...” Evaluating, Blaming “ You’re wrong...” Interpreting, Diagnosing “ You need to...”

Avoid or don’t rush into

Advising, Giving Solutions

“ Why don’t you...”

Ordering, Directing

“ You have to...”

Preaching, Moralising

“ You’d better not...”

Warning, Threatening

“ You ought to...”

Evaluating, Blaming

“ You’re wrong...”

Interpreting, Diagnosing

“ You need to...”

Delivering the message Be direct about the current and desired state Own the message. Use “I” Get to the point, don’t mix it in with other things. Sensitive Let’s not pretend it will be easy Practice this communication Like a muscle, it will develop.

Be direct about the current and desired state

Own the message. Use “I”

Get to the point, don’t mix it in with other things.

Sensitive

Let’s not pretend it will be easy

Practice this communication

Like a muscle, it will develop.

Questions & Handouts

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