Published on November 13, 2008
Hand-Shaking 101 (Excerpted from 3-day Collaboration Course) Permission is granted by Solid Thinking Corporation to share and email this presentation in its entirety provided the slides are unaltered and the website and copyright notices are left on the slides Copyright Solid Thinking. All Rights Reserved. www.SolidThinking.org
Copyright Solid Thinking. All Rights Reserved. First Meeting Sets Tone www.SolidThinking.org • Busy people are straightforward. Say what you mean and mean what you say *. • If you need something, be gracious but ask for it • Have a handshake that is firm, predictable & brief People of character appreciate candor. When you say what you mean, people who matter won’t mind. And people who do mind do not matter. (unknown)
Two Myths About Handshakes 1. Handshakes don’t really matter these days like they used to. They do in the business environment of any nation, and esp in the US. Be aware that some introverted/germ-phobic people dread handshakes. 2. My handshake is [strong, quick, etc - fill in the blank] but it is just my style. And I like it that way. It reflects my unique personality and sets me apart from others. Sorry but if your handshake is odd in any way, YOU will be seen as being odd and odd people don’t get much cooperation. Let your work or your conversational skill or something else set you apart, not an odd handshake. Copyright Solid Thinking. All Rights Reserved. www.SolidThinking.org
People Draw Conclusions From Just a Handshake • Too strong a grip = trying to prove strength • Too weak = weak person • Lasts too long = person will be “clingy” • Too brief = person isn’t interested in a relationship with me (wants out of here) • Rotates hand over mine = is going to be difficult to deal with (overly dominant and aggressive) • Predictable handshake = predictable person: firm means reliable; eye contact means honest and sincere; smile means friendly person Copyright Solid Thinking. All Rights Reserved. www.SolidThinking.org
Good Handshake Has 8 Key Parts 1. Distance from other person (cultural) 1. Too close is awkward and that carries into handshake 2. Too distant causes stepping into greeting (appropriate in circle, not 1 on 1) 3. Stand if seated (and able) 2. Eye contact just before hands meet, so smile FIRST (avoid the linked pump-smile) 3. Meet web-to-web Straight fingers = the FISH! 4. Wrap fingers around hand Copyright Solid Thinking. All Rights Reserved. www.SolidThinking.org
Key Attributes 5. Gentle squeeze, slightly easier when meeting a woman but NOT Numbers 5-8 when you ARE one 6. 2-4 small pumps while saying appropriate greeting – Nice to meet you – Thanks for taking the time to meet – Good morning/afternoon/evening (when you can think of nothing better) – John speaks very highly of you (only if it is true) 7. Release and (in Western business culture) step back since handshake distance is closer than conversational distance 8. If awkward silence ensues, say “I have a card here somewhere . .” Copyright Solid Thinking. All Rights Reserved. www.SolidThinking.org
Your Instructor Covertly Sampled Handshakes at Course Start • How many “Fish” (the most dangerous type to have)? • How many “Atlas’s”? • How many “Twisters”? • How many “Pumpaholics”? • How many “Nervous Nellies”? Copyright Solid Thinking. All Rights Reserved. www.SolidThinking.org
Instructor Will Demonstrate Each Type of Handshake You cannot correct your style until you can recognize it in others! • Offer a neutral handshake and he will demo a style • Then you replicate that style (he is neutral) • Once each style has wound around room, next style will be demonstrated • Lastly, proper, neutral style will be sought from each person Copyright Solid Thinking. All Rights Reserved. www.SolidThinking.org
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