Published on March 16, 2014
Go Goals Goddess! Setting Goals the Goddess Way By: Shawna Cevraini divinegoddesscircle.com
Table of Contents Help! I‟m Overwhelmed ◦ Have You Ever Felt Like This? ◦ What‟s Holding You Back? Tough Love: For You ◦ The Addiction to Busy ◦ Stop Wasting Time ◦ Stop Taking Weak Action ◦ Stop Getting Distracted What Can I Do? ◦ How Do You Want to Feel? ◦ Evaluate Where You Are? 2 Where Do I Start? ◦ Just for Today ◦ Welcome Your Week Goddess! ◦ Release Your Week Goddess! What Do I Do? ◦ How Do I Plan? ◦ My “System” How Can I Help You? ◦ Goals Goddess eCourse ◦ Desire Map Online Book Club ◦ Divine Goddess Circle Membership 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 22 22
HELP! I‟M OVERWHELMED! There‟s so much to do and I can‟t get it all done! 3
Have You Ever Felt Like This? I think I know how long it‟s going to take, but at the end of the day, I feel like I‟ve accomplished absolutely nothing. The day just “got away from me”. I feel like I have no control. I‟m too busy to set goals. Who has time for that? Everyone tells me that I should set goals, but I really have no idea how to even start! Do I buy a day timer? Do I put it in a calendar? Do I write it down or just leave it in my head? I have the best intentions for what I want to do. I plan and dream, but I just never seem to get to where I want to be. I visualize it, but it just never happens. There‟s so many things that I want to do. All of these make me happy, but I really don‟t know how to fit it all in. Setting goals makes me feel “boxed in” – I want to be free with my day, I‟m a creative! I can‟t be tied down to planning what I want to do! 4 S.Cevraini www.divinegoddesscircle.com
What‟s Holding You Back? Have you set aside time for the task? How much time? Is it something you should even be doing? Does it take you longer than it takes someone else? Is the task really complex? Does it need to be broken down? Can you remember to do it? Is it written down anywhere? Where? Is your space where you do this task a mess? Do you spend time cleaning up before you can begin? Is your workload unrealistic? Do you have health problems that affect what you can do? Are you in the middle of a big „change‟ in your life? Do you get interrupted a lot? Are the people around you disorganized? Are you clear on what you want to do? Do you do your best work while in a rush/chaos? Do you fear having downtime? Are you able to say “No”? Do you insist on taking care of everything? Do you fear failure if you actually go for what you dream of? Are you afraid of what will happen if you DO accomplish your goals? Do you fear that you making changes might be uncomfortable for others in your life? Are you afraid they will reject you? Does it have to be perfect for you to be satisfied? Are you afraid structure will hamper your creative style? 5 S.Cevraini www.divinegoddesscircle.com
TOUGH LOVE: FOR YOU Facing the truth about where your time goes 6
The Addiction to “Busy” Ask someone how they are and the answer is usually: “I‟m busy” or “Life‟s been crazy” or “I‟m slammed” or “swamped” or variations of the same. Why do we say this? Why do we do this? In my opinion, it‟s usually a case of trying to out-do one another. I think, “Hey, I‟m more stressed than you so my life is more important. ” This makes me feel better, about me; for the moment anyway…Until the next “more busy” person comes along. And yep, there‟s always someone who is doing more than you. All this “busyness” is harming our communication with each other. Instead of having meaningful conversations with people we care about, we‟re whining about all the stuff we have to do. How does that improve each other‟s lives? How does me, talking about all I have to do enrich our relationship? Does this lift the other person up? Or are we discreetly putting them down to make ourselves feel better? When will this contest end? We all lose when no one gives the other permission to just slow down. 7 S.Cevraini www.divinegoddesscircle.com
Stop Wasting Time! We all do it. You know for a fact that you could be doing something else besides checking Facebook 10 times in the last hour. “It‟s only for a minute!” You say? 1 X 10 = 10 min. per hour 10 min/hour X 8 hr = 80 min in 1 work day… 80 min X 5 days is 400 min (6 hours) in 1 work week!! 6!!! Even cut that in half…What would you do with an extra 3 hours in a week? And what about TV time? How much time do you REALLY spend in front of the TV? Figure it out! What if you spent 3 hours of your TV time in a week doing some of those tasks on your list? What do you think you could get done in a week? In a month? A year? It really adds up, right!? You choose what you spend your time on when you choose these things. I‟m not saying they aren‟t fun. But how much do you really want to do something else? How much better would your life be if you stopped doing some of these things even for just ½ the time you normally spend on them? It‟s time for you to stop settling for less than what you deserve. You are better than that and you know it! 8 S.Cevraini www.divinegoddesscircle.com
Stop Taking Weak Action! You know those times when you have a deadline and you‟ve put the project off until the last minute and you THEN sit down, crank out the work and get it done in, like, 5 hours? What about when your mom calls and says she‟s coming over and that living room that you “never have time” to clean is suddenly tidied up in ½ hour? This is because we spend more time “humming and hawing” about a task than we actually do DOING the task! It often doesn‟t take as long to do when we are faced with a crunch time and we are forced to focus on that ONE THING that needs doing! Setting concrete, focused deadlines for yourself works. You know you have the discipline (or you wouldn‟t be able to do those things I just mentioned). You just need to force yourself to take STRONG ACTION. Figure out what motivates you and helps you focus and do that for the majority of the tasks and goals you need to complete. 9 S.Cevraini www.divinegoddesscircle.com
Stop Getting Distracted! This is so easy for all of us. There are so many things and so many people vying for our attention. Think about your priorities. Are they really your priorities or someone else‟s? How often do you let someone else‟s „emergency‟ become yours? You have the choice to control how you spend your time. You choose to drop what your doing and rush to their aid. If you‟re OK with that, then great. But…if you‟re not OK with that, it‟s time for you to choose to regulate your time and how you respond. I know how hard it is to say “No” because there really are a lot of things that I‟d like to do. I always want to “do it all”. But is this a realistic expectation? We need to approach this dilemma in a different way. We need to decide if this thing that I want to do right now is worth the cost. There are many costs to consider. The biggest being your time. Are you willing to give up on something else to make this your priority? Do you feel good about letting your other goals go in favor of this new next best thing? Or is this something that can wait while you complete your current goals? 10 S.Cevraini www.divinegoddesscircle.com
WHAT CAN I DO? It‟s never too late to try again 11
How Do You Want to Feel? Are you constantly doing things for others but rarely for yourself? Does this make you feel good or frustrated? Feeling constantly “behind the eight ball” is no way to live your life. You deserve to listen to your heart and what makes you FEEL good. Yes, we all have things that we need to do for our quality of life, but at what cost? If I get to the finish line without ever having lived my life, what was I doing all that for? What would I do if I had more time? How would I spend it? Who would I be? What if I changed my attitude towards the things I “need to do” and looked at them in a different way? Would they be easier to do? What if I started setting my goals on how I want to feel at the end of the day? Would I be more likely to do those things? These are all questions that you need to ask yourself. You DESERVE to ask yourself these questions…and listen to the answers. 12 S.Cevraini www.divinegoddesscircle.com
Evaluate Where You Are First of all, before you begin to change, you need to forgive. Forgive others for what they‟ve done/not done…yes, but most of all FORGIVE YOU. You did the best you could with the tools and resources you had at the time. Let it all go. Learn from it and move on. Take the time to breathe, relax into the idea that yep, you made mistakes. Now, one step at a time, you are going to make changes. Breathe it in and accept what is coming. Write down what works for you. Maybe you‟re awesome at getting your to-do list written down or putting things in the calendar. Find your strengths. Relish in them and be grateful for your gifts. Then, write down what doesn‟t work for you. What challenges you? Is there a time of day that is less productive than other times? Pick ONE thing that you‟d like to change first (considering how you would like to FEEL when this change happens) 13 S.Cevraini www.divinegoddesscircle.com
WHERE DO I START? One step at a time makes all the difference 14
Just for Today You‟ve decided what you‟re going to work on first; the one thing. So, just for today, you will start with that. Force yourself to find 15 minutes of time to start. Just 15. I get up at 5 to have my Morning Focus Time. You don‟t have to start with that. Just finding the 15 minutes will make a big difference. During this time, think about what little, specific actions can you do today to move you toward this one thing. It is important to be specific and small REAL actions. In my opinion, you MUST write these down. Not a huge list, focus on just 3 things. The first 3 MIT‟s (most important tasks) that you need to do to move forward towards your goal. For example, let‟s say you want to work on the Goddess Goal of feeling like a healthy Goddess by exercising in some way each day. You can write (and do) these 3 things: 1. Do 3 pushups on the wall while waiting for the dryer to finish 2. Go for a five minute walk while I take my lunch break 3. Park my car in the farthest corner of the parking lot Do this for a few days and see how it feels and what you accomplish. 15 S.Cevraini www.divinegoddesscircle.com
Welcome Your Week Goddess! As you get better at creating your day, you will find that you‟ll want to move on to creating your week! You‟ll be excited about the time you can uncover as you focus on the week. Each week, spend about ½ hour looking at your week and thinking about what you want to do and how you want to feel in all aspects of your life. Be sure to include things that fill you up! Write down your overall plans for the week in each of these areas. Be as specific as possible. Then, during your focus time in the morning, look at the week plan and see what will fit in with your MIT‟s for today. I do have different “sets” of MIT‟s for my goals for home and for at work because they are large different “chunks” of my day. Again, be sure to write down specific, small goals that will move you forward in your weekly goal. If you complete them, add 3 more! At the end of the day, note all that you were able to accomplish (even if nothing was checked off – think about what you did!) Be grateful for the little things. Write them down! 16 S.Cevraini www.divinegoddesscircle.com
Release Your Week Goddess! Not everything will work out the way you plan, and that‟s OK. Keeping notes on how you feel and what you did do each day will help you as you reflect on the week. You will see that just because you didn‟t meet the goal in the way you planned, you did accomplish things – maybe even your goal, but just in a different way than what you planned. At the end of the week, before you start planning for the new one, look over these notes. Do you see patterns or blocks that keep coming up? Ask yourself why that task seems difficult. Is it something that is outside your control or that you can delegate? Again, practice gratitude about all that you did do. Write down what felt good and things you were excited about. What fun did you have? Who did you connect with? Reflecting on gratitude and all that you did do and reasons why you weren‟t able to do some of the things you planned will enable you to release the week. It will set the tone for you as you plan the next week. None of this should take much time – and the time you do spend on it will benefit you over and over again. Hold on to the thought that you are doing this for YOU. You are doing this to feel better and enjoy life. Isn‟t that worthwhile time to spend? 17 S.Cevraini www.divinegoddesscircle.com
WHAT DO I DO? It didn‟t happen overnight 18
How Do I Plan? Not everything works out for me as I plan. This used to stress me out…a lot. I made lists everywhere, I read new time management books and implemented this idea and that idea thinking that this, THIS finally will be the system that works for me. THIS time will be different. Each time, I would end up getting distracted, trying to change too many things, feeling overwhelmed and definitely feeling UN-Goddess-Like! It made me feel like a failure. I know now that this is a process. There is no “one system” that works for me. I accept that I have unique perspectives on what I want to do and now that I recognize this, I am much more able to get things done. I have come up with a system that I love, that makes me feel good and helps me continue to grow and change. This is what I want from my life. I have goals that I move towards goals that I don‟t reach, especially the way I think I‟m going to reach them. I see all that I am able to do, I celebrate and I am able to move on. 19 S.Cevraini www.divinegoddesscircle.com
My “System” My yearly goals and plans are setup in my Create Your Goddess Year workbook from Leonie Dawson. I use this monthly to review where I am and where I‟d like to go this year. It‟s full color, fun and very “me” because it‟s all about loving myself and being excited. I use the Desire Map from Danielle Laporte for my weekly and daily goals. This has me focusing on my Core Desired Feelings and how I want to feel instead of the outcomes of the goal. This shift in thinking helps me release and let go of specific outcomes. I feel good and that‟s all that really matters. I make notes pretty much every day. This helps me to see what I‟m having trouble with and I‟ll often figure out what‟s blocking me. Sometimes, I‟m just not the right person for the job, so this helps me let go and delegate! Every day, I have a calendar appointment with myself in the middle of the day to force me to stop and take stock of my own value and how I feel. Am I on track? What do I love about my day? I‟ll sometimes stop and journal these, but I always at least stop to think. I practice gratitude throughout the day. The Divine Goddess Circle helps me connect with other women and helps me to feel less alone on those days when I struggle. Writing posts and connecting with other women really helps me fill me cup so that I am able to keep pushing forward to my goals. I do get up very early most days (5:00 a.m.) which gives me two hours everyday that I use exclusively for my goals. This gives me 10 hours each week to work toward my bigger goals and plans. This isn‟t easy, but it‟s something that is really important to me so I make it happen. 20 S.Cevraini www.divinegoddesscircle.com
HOW CAN I HELP YOU? Next steps for making lasting changes 21
I Can Help You! I‟m really excited about sharing this with you. I hope you‟ve found it inspiring and helpful. If you have any questions at all, feel free to email me: firstname.lastname@example.org m Feel free to share this document with your friends who are struggling with setting goals and letting go. The conversation continues over in the Divine Goddess Circle. The intro video is here: DGC Intro Why don‟t you join us!? “Star Membership” is free and “Super Star” Membership is only 12.99$ per month. Click to Get Your Membership! There is so much more I‟d like to share with you! I decided to create a special eCourse to dig deeper into this material than what I can cover in a one hour webinar. Make your goals happen this year. I will help you find out what actually works for YOU and you‟ll finally be able to make changes that stick. Let‟s do this! Register now to be the first to get in: Go Goals Goddess eCourse P.S. Want to know more about the Desire Map? I‟ve got an online book club: Desire Map Book Club 22 S.Cevraini www.divinegoddesscircle.com
Go Goals Goddess! 23 Join the free webinar: Thursday, March 20 7:30 to 8:30 MDT Goals Goddess Webinar S.Cevraini www.divinegoddesscircle.com
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