Published on June 16, 2013
And their children, and GodFATHERS
IT IS TRUE:• We get our concept of God largelyfrom our relationship with our fathers
GOD AS FATHER: NO PROBLEM
MY DAD AND GOD HAD THINGS IN COMMON• Size• Kindness• Dreaming big• Unconventional• Not given to rules• Cut people slack• Loved just about everybody…
HE WAS A ROMANTIC• Letters to my mom for two years• Lofty dreams, but in touch withcommon man
HE WASN’T A SMOTHERER• Taught us to be independent• Provided just in time• Physically affirming• Wrestled• Toucher, hugger
HE BELIEVED IN HIS KIDS• Each different• Each loved
HE LOVED OUR MOTHER
HE WAS AN AND MAN• Business AND church planting• Preached AND drank beer• Taught Sunday School ANDpartied• Loved old people AND youngpeople• Saints AND sinners especially
SO, HAPPILY, I HAD NO CHALLENGES WITH GODBEING MY FATHER
What was his childhood like?WHERE DID MY DAD GET THIS FROM?
HE HAD FIVE SIBLINGS• Three half-brothers• Two youngerbrothers• Cubby• Charles
HIS PARENTS WERE ESTRANGED WHEN HE WASA TEENAGER
A YEAR OR SO LATER HIS DAD CONTRACTEDCANCER• Left forEngland, died at sea• Leaving everythingto the three halfbrothers• And nothing to hispresent wife and herthree sons
BREADWINNER AT 15 YEARS OLD
THEY MOVED INTO THE HARBOR
NEDDY RAN A “MISSION TO SEAFARERS”
HE STAYED THE COURSE
LATER HE WENT TO WAR IN NORTH AFRICA
AND WAS CAPTURED AFTER ONE WEEK
HE GOT ILL, WAS SHIPPED TO ITALY…
NEXT FOUR YEARS ASA POW
CAME BACK & MARRIED A GIRL WHO WAS JUST 8 YRSOLD WHEN THEY MET (HE WAS 19)
THEY BUILT A HOUSE IN LLANDUDNO
LATER MOVED TO JOHANNESBURG
TRADED “SUCCESS” FOR MEANING
There were a few…DISAPPOINTMENTS
WAS NOT REALLY SUCCESSFUL, IN THEWORLD’S EYES• Just avoided bankruptcy after a robbery• Often battled to meet payroll• Continual health challenges• The “next year” that was going to be betterseldom came
LOSSES• Dad• Mom• Son• Illness• Business
CONTINUED RISKING, VENTURING• Cuthbert’s• Symingtons• Santa Barbara, Coral Coast• Lana Knit, with Cubby• Terese: Gowns of distinction• Insurance: Colonial Mutual• Marlyn Press ~ Fast Print
CARED FOR HIS FAMILY, WIFE, OTHERS
Looking back 30 years laterLESSONS FROM MY DAD
DISAPPOINTMENTS CAN MAKE YOU BETTER, ORBITTER
LONELINESS IS NOT DESTINATION• Pain + lossLoneliness• Sinfulness
OVER-ANALYZING OF PARENTS:•2/10 Therapeutic•8/10 Narcissistic
MANY OF US DON’T NEED THERAPY• We need to remember correctly.(Or we need a bridgeAnd a good pair of walking shoes.)
SOME OF US DO HAVE GENUINECHALLENGES WITH FATHERSHaving said that….
• Inattentive• Distant• Absent• Uncommunicative• Demanding• Erratic• Harsh• AbusiveWE KNOW MANY WITH FATHERS WHO HAVEBEEN …
MAKING HARD TO RELATE TO:•God my father????
WOMEN CAN MAKE BAD MEN/HUSBAND CHOICES
MEN HAVE AN INABILITY TO MAKE REAL PROGRESS(NOT THE HALLMARK CARD JUNK BELOW)• Surrounded by peers at school• Go to college• Come to cities looking for spiritual fathers• Don’t find them and remain kidults: the incomeof adults, the relationships of fraternity brothers• The 1 John progression is stunted
WHO WILL CALL THEM OUT?• Osmosis• Special events• Wife• Man camp
WHAT CAN WE DO TO GET OUR VIEW OFFATHER FIXED?
THANKFULNESS AND GRATITUDE TO FATHERS• Who lacked fathering• Who grew up in adifferent era …• When men did not talk…• Let alone talk about theirfeelings…• For you.
OWNING WHAT YOU HAVE• Instead of what you didn’t get from yourfather
INNER HEALING• God’s magical erasure of timeboundaries• Going back there, being there, healing
DREAM A NEW DESTINY
MAKE THE TRANSITION FROM•victim to victor
IT MATTERS LESS HOW BAD YOUR FATHERWASBut more how good yourFather is
PERSONAL REFLECTIONSWhat can we do about gaps in our father figures?
1. IF YOU ALLOWED…• Hurt to become loneliness• Loneliness to linger• Lingering to become wallowing
2. GIVE UP YOUR IDENTITY AS A VICTIM• Cannot serve two masters• Cannot live an integrated life with a bifurcatedidentity• It is a little-known trick of satan that everygeneration thinks they had the toughest time• If “victim” has been your friend, say goodbye…today!
3. FORGIVE YOUR FATHER• Half the things you hoped for he didn’tknow you wanted• Choice to forgive• See his face, hear him say “I love you”
4. WRITE OUT A FATHERS BLESSING• What would you liketo hear from yourfather?
5. HAVE A FATHER, FRIEND READ THE BLESSINGTO/OVER YOU. RECEIVE IT.
6. EMBRACE GOD AS FATHER TODAY• Tell him, “I am glad you are myfather because…”
7. COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR EARTHLY FATHER• Honor your father and your mother• Call• Letter• Card• Email• Gift… somethingBUT NO BAD NEWS SNUCK IN BETWEEN !
IN SUMMARY1. Repent2. Get a new identity: victor3. Forgive your father4. Write the blessing you want5. Have someone read it6. Embrace God with gratitude7. Communicate honor, appreciation
Grateful for the affirmation of my wife and childrenwho have made it easier to be a dad.IN CLOSING: I AM A BLESSED FATHER
Happy Fathers DayBRETT JOHNSONWWW.ABOUT.ME/THEBRETTJOHNSON
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