Communication Assertiveness

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Information about Communication Assertiveness
Education

Published on August 13, 2007

Author: chitx2000

Source: authorstream.com

PowerPoint Presentation: COMMUNICATION ASSERTIVENESS PowerPoint Presentation: COMMUNICATION ASSERTIVENESS WHAT IS ASSERTIVENESS? HOW DO YOU BEGIN? WHAT IS IT NOT? HOW ASSERTIVE ARE YOU? WHY? HOW DO YOU DEVELOP ASSERTIVENESS? ASSERTIVENESS: ASSERTIVENESS Collection of behaviors Stem from a belief Your needs and wants Important as other people’s BEHAVIOR RAINBOW: BEHAVIOR RAINBOW FIGHT (Aggressive) ASSERTIVE FLIGHT (Submissive) PowerPoint Presentation: ASSERTIVE BEHAVIOR I stand up for my own rights, but I don’t violate your rights. PowerPoint Presentation: SUBMISSIVE BEHAVIOR Failure to stand up for your rights Failure to express your thoughts, feelings and beliefs PowerPoint Presentation: AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOR I stand up for my rights. I don’t care about yours. My rights are more important than yours. PowerPoint Presentation: PRINCIPLES OF ASSERTIVENESS ASSERTIVE I count. You count. AGGRESSIVE I count. You don’t count. SUBMISSIVE - AGGRESSIVE I count. You don’t count, but I’m not going to tell you that. SUBMISSIVE I don’t count. You count. PowerPoint Presentation: WHAT ASSERTIVENESS IS AND IS NOT  Personal responsibility Awareness of other people’s rights Honesty and respect Rational and adult behavior Ability to negotiate Confidence  Getting your own way Winning every time Using “quick fix” tricks Manipulating people PowerPoint Presentation: PHASES IN LEARNING ASSERTIVE BEHAVIORS P roject A nalyze L ook S peak up PowerPoint Presentation: PROJECT PHASES IN LEARNING ASSERTIVE BEHAVIORS Project yourself into past conflict situations See the common features PowerPoint Presentation: PHASES IN LEARNING ASSERTIVE BEHAVIORS ANALYZE Degree of threat you felt Select a scene to improve on PowerPoint Presentation: LOOK PHASES IN LEARNING ASSERTIVE BEHAVIORS See the emotions, language, and self- image How do you change them? PowerPoint Presentation: SPEAK UP PHASES IN LEARNING ASSERTIVE BEHAVIORS Plan a negotiating script or message Express in an affirmative manner PowerPoint Presentation: Negative image Fear of conflict Lack of communication proficiency Culture BARRIERS TO ASSERTIVENESS PowerPoint Presentation: alse vidence ppearing eal F E A R F E A R PowerPoint Presentation: SHARED INFORMATION = SHARED CULTURES No behavior or value is universal. Be flexible to accept differences. Be sensitive to verbal nuances and non-verbal cues. Know practices of other cultures. PowerPoint Presentation: SELF-ESTEEM PowerPoint Presentation: BELIEFS We hold them to be true. They affect our overt behavior. Conclusions we have reached from experience. PowerPoint Presentation: SELF-ESTEEM How do you see yourself? How do you label yourself? Both a CAUSE and an EFFECT of assertiveness shy Bad with numbers ordinary WHAT DETERMINES BEHAVIOR: WHAT DETERMINES BEHAVIOR Behavior Attitude Environment Genes Choice PowerPoint Presentation: “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Eleanor Roosevelt PowerPoint Presentation: AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIORS Excessive use of “I” statements Stating opinions as facts Putting others down Frequent use of ought and should Blaming others Showing contempt and being hostile PowerPoint Presentation: AGGRESSIVE EXPRESSIONS That approach won’t work. You’d better do it. That’s only your opinion. You ought/should/must. It was your fault. Well, I blame you. PowerPoint Presentation: SUBMISSIVE BEHAVIORS Ingratiating attempts to accommodate the needs of other people Long rambling statements to justify the self Qualifying phrases “Filler” words Phrases that elicit others to ignore them PowerPoint Presentation: It’s only my opinion. Maybe… I wonder if… Just… Sorry to bother you, but… Would you mind very much… I seem to be hopeless at this. It’s not important really. It doesn’t matter. SUBMISSIVE EXPRESSIONS PowerPoint Presentation: ASSERTIVE BEHAVIORS Brief and to the point statements “I” statements Clear distinction between fact and opinion Open-ended questions to elicit thoughts, needs and opinions of others Resolution of problems PowerPoint Presentation: I believe… I’d like… I want/need… In my experience… My opinion is… As I see it… ASSERTIVE EXPRESSIONS PowerPoint Presentation: TOOLS IN COMMUNICATION Body Language 55% Words 7% Voice How You Say It 38% PowerPoint Presentation: TOOLS IN COMMUNICATION Body Language-55% PowerPoint Presentation: NON-VERBAL CUES NVC ASSERTIVE AGGRESSIVE SUBMISSIVE Head Firm not rigid Chin forward Head down Eyes Direct but not staring Regular eye contact Staring or piercing Looking away Few Face Appropriate facial expression Set and firm Smiling even when not appropriate Voice Well modulated; appropriate to content Harsh and very loud Hesitant Soft and fades out at the end PowerPoint Presentation: NON-VERBAL CUES NVC ASSERTIVE AGGRESSIVE SUBMISSIVE Arms/ Hands Relaxed Move easily Controlled Sharp gestures Finger pointing and jabbing Clenched in a fist Aimless Unnecessary Movement Measured pace Fast and deliberate Slow and hesitant Fast and jerky Posture Upright, straight Stiff and rigid Slouching Shrinking Shifting PowerPoint Presentation: TOOLS IN COMMUNICATION Voice-38% PowerPoint Presentation: TOOLS IN COMMUNICATION 7 % PowerPoint Presentation: ASSERTIVE REPLIES In what ways do you think I’m too shy? You’re entitled to your opinion…but I know I can do it. You’re too shy. I don’t think you can do it. I believe it is. Are you sure this is relevant? What do you have in mind? Are you busy on Saturday? How can we be more cooperative? We should be more cooperative to avoid conflict. No. When do you want it? Haven’t you started that letter yet? Suggested Assertive Reply Put-down Sentence PowerPoint Presentation: ASSERTIVE REPLIES I’m sorry but Carol is not in her workstation right now. This is Dennis. How may I help you instead? He’s just in the washroom. Why don’t you try calling later? We’ll be able to get the power schedule from Meralco by tomorrow. We won’t be able to send it get confirmation from Meralco about the power schedule until tomorrow. I don’t have that information with me just yet. I don’t know. Assertive Non-Assertive PowerPoint Presentation: ASSERTIVE REPLIES I’m sorry but Carol is not in her workstation right now. This is Dennis. How may I help you instead? He’s just in the washroom. Why don’t you try calling later? We’ll be able to get the power schedule from Meralco by tomorrow. We won’t be able to send it get confirmation from Meralco about the power schedule until tomorrow. I don’t have that information with me just yet. I don’t know. Assertive Non-Assertive PowerPoint Presentation: First concrete step Confidence Choice of right words Basis of rehearsal WRITING SCRIPTS PowerPoint Presentation: DESCRIBE What unwanted behavior has my Downer been displaying? EXPRESS How can I tell my Downer the way I feel about this behavior? SPECIFY What behavioral changes might I contract for? CONSEQUENCES What rewarding consequences can I provide to my Downer for sticking to the contract? DESC PowerPoint Presentation: Requesting Participation I’ll work more optimistically if I feel everyone has a chance to contribute ideas. C That way you’ll get something important into the proposal. I’d like to have the floor to make my suggestion now. Is that possible? S If you’ll be quiet, maybe I can put in my ideas. I’d like to make a suggestion. E Do you have to dominate these discussions? I’ve heard your suggestions for our proposal. D You are doing all the talking and I’m doing all the listening. Better Script Poor Script DESC SCRIPT PowerPoint Presentation: SIMPLE STEPS TO ASSERTIVENESS PowerPoint Presentation: LISTEN ASSERTIVELY PowerPoint Presentation: COMMON NON-LISTENING BEHAVIORS Disguised Listening Distracted Listening Defensive Listening Distorted Listening PowerPoint Presentation: Criticizing the speaker and the delivery Listening only for facts and not feelings Not taking notes or trying to write down everything Faking attention Tolerating or creating distractions BAD LISTENING HABITS PowerPoint Presentation: Tuning out difficult or confusing information Letting emotional words block the message Interrupting or finishing the other person’s sentence Biases and prejudices Not checking that you’ve understood BAD LISTENING HABITS PowerPoint Presentation: Prepare physically and psychologically. Fight off distractions. Listen for speaker’s main ideas. Be sensitive to your emotional triggers. Listen to speaker’s side first. TWO EARS, ONE MOUTH PowerPoint Presentation: Reflect on differences of language. Do not trust to memory certain data that may be important. Listen actively. Repeat and clarify all key facts. Use positive body language to show that you are listening. TWO EARS, ONE MOUTH PowerPoint Presentation: UNDERSTANDING A FOREIGN ACCENT Don’t pretend to understand Don’t rush. Don’t shout. Don’t be rude. Don’t use slang. PowerPoint Presentation: Clarifying Question Example: “Is the process clear?” Probing Question Example: “Can you give me a specific example of an application of this?” TYPES OF QUESTIONS PowerPoint Presentation: If I understand you correctly… Is that you what meant? I heard you say _____________, did I understand you correctly? Your view is ________________, is that right? CLARIFYING QUESTIONS PowerPoint Presentation: I’d like to hear your views/thoughts on… I’d like to understand your views on… Could you tell me about them? Would you tell me more about how you see the situation? I think we are approaching these from different perspectives. What does the situation look like from your perspective? PROBING QUESTIONS EXAMPLES OF VERIFICATION STATEMENTS: EXAMPLES OF VERIFICATION STATEMENTS “I want to make sure that I gave you complete instructions. Please recap what I have just said.” “I hope I’ve been clear so far. Perhaps you could repeat to me what you’ve understood. It will save us problems later.” PowerPoint Presentation: SAY WHAT YOU WANT TO HAPPEN PowerPoint Presentation: Use clear, direct requests or directives. Avoid hinting, being indirect, or presuming. SAY WHAT YOU WANT TO HAPPEN PowerPoint Presentation: ASSERTIVE REQUESTS Assertive Directive Please take this to John. Assertive Request Will you please take this to John? Indirect, only inquires about willingness Would you mind taking this to John? PowerPoint Presentation: BE DIRECT PowerPoint Presentation: BE DIRECT Please email HEAD OFFICE about this issue. I need you to email HEAD OFFICE about this issue. Will you check this info with Sales? Why don’t you check this info with Sales? I believe this data is necessary. Don’t you think this data is necessary? Assertive Non-Assertive PowerPoint Presentation: USE FACTS, NOT JUDGMENTS PowerPoint Presentation: USE FACTS, NOT JUDGMENTS If you continue to arrive after 8:30 am, I will be required to suspend you. If you don’t change your attitude, you’re going to be in real trouble. The grammar in this report needs work. This is sloppy work. Assertive Non-Assertive PowerPoint Presentation: TAKE RESPONSIBILITY PowerPoint Presentation: TAKE RESPONSIBILITY I believe that parking this question now would allow us time to gather more data. Don’t you think we should park this for now? Assertive Non-Assertive You embarrassed me in front of all those people. I felt embarrassed when you said that in front of all those people. The only sensible thing to do is to turn this issue over to Development. I believe turning this issue over to Development would be our best course of action. PowerPoint Presentation: INITIATE GREETING TALK PowerPoint Presentation: CONVERSATIONAL DO’S Learn six magic questions. Speak with your ears. Be yourself. Talk in the other person’s backyard. Show interest in others. Address everyone in the group. Know how to make a shy person feel part of the group. PowerPoint Presentation: Be alert. Be courteous. Be well-informed. CONVERSATIONAL DO’S Adjust to the other person. Step in to fill an embarrassing void. PowerPoint Presentation: Off-color and discriminating jokes Personal relationships Cost of anything personal and income Controversial topics CONVERSATIONAL TABOOS PowerPoint Presentation: Personal misfortune Demeaning terms Abrasive words or phrases Embarrassing questions Correcting another’s grammar or pronunciation in public CONVERSATIONAL TABOOS PowerPoint Presentation: GIVE AND ACCEPT GENUINE COMPLIMENTS PowerPoint Presentation: LOOK, SOUND, FEEL ASSERTIVE PowerPoint Presentation: Learn your lines. Speak with more power and expression. Speak clearly. Use body language that says YES or NO. LOOK AND SOUND THE PART PowerPoint Presentation: LEARN HOW TO SAY NO SAYING NO: SAYING NO “I open my mouth saying NO and it comes out as NO PROBLEM.” Don’t feel guilty. Start with simple situations. Be firm but polite. Give a reason, not an excuse. SAYING NO: Buy some thinking time. Ask for more information. Use appropriate body language and voice. Think it through. Set boundaries. SAYING NO DEAL ASSERTIVELY WITH CONFLICT: DEAL ASSERTIVELY WITH CONFLICT PowerPoint Presentation: Focus on the content, not the behavior of the other person. DEAL ASSERTIVELY WITH CONFLICT: DEAL ASSERTIVELY WITH CONFLICT “Well, that ideas has its merits, but I don’t think that it’s likely to achieve the outcome we’re looking for.” “That’s a stupid idea. Where did that come from?” PowerPoint Presentation: These are defensive maneuvers caused by reacting to what is said. These can get off a person from his assertive track. DETOURS PowerPoint Presentation: Persist . Repeat your main point. “That may be. But I really find the volume too loud.” Disagree . Make a direct statement. “I don’t agree.” HOW TO HANDLE DETOURS PowerPoint Presentation: Emphasize the importance. “This is important to me.” Agree with the other person’s right to have certain feelings, but disagree with the idea that you must have the same feelings. HOW TO HANDLE DETOURS PowerPoint Presentation: HOW TO HANDLE DETOURS Redefine Don’t accept someone’s negative label for your behavior. Redefine in positive terms. “I’m not being nosy. I’m just naturally curious.” Ask a question Clarify. “In what ways do you think I’m acting childishly?” LOOK AND FEEL ASSERTIVE: LOOK AND FEEL ASSERTIVE Prepare to practice. Highlight your script. Learn your lines. Develop assertive body language. LOOK AND FEEL ASSERTIVE: LOOK AND FEEL ASSERTIVE Speak with more power. Speak with more clarity. Speak with more expression. Set the stage. Look the part. PowerPoint Presentation: “The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind.” William James

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