Commnication - Straight Talking

50 %
50 %
Information about Commnication - Straight Talking
Business & Mgmt

Published on February 10, 2009

Author: siddharth4mba

Source: slideshare.net

Description

Commnication - Straight Talking

STRAIGHT TALKING OBJECTIVES ASSERTIVENESS What it is Advantages Comparisons with aggressive and submissive behaviour THREE PRINCIPLES OF ASSERTIVENESS : Be honest about what matters Stick to the bottom line Negotiate as equals ACTION PLAN

OBJECTIVES

ASSERTIVENESS

What it is

Advantages

Comparisons with aggressive and submissive behaviour

THREE PRINCIPLES OF ASSERTIVENESS :

Be honest about what matters

Stick to the bottom line

Negotiate as equals

ACTION PLAN

THREE TYPES OF BEHAVIOUR Aggressive behaviour involves: Going in with all guns blazing. Manipulation. You won’ t be used as a doormat. May get what you want,atleast for a while. But behaving in this way will not earn others’ respect or co-operation in the longer term.

Aggressive behaviour involves:

Going in with all guns blazing.

Manipulation.

You won’ t be used as a doormat.

May get what you want,atleast for a while.

But behaving in this way will not earn others’ respect or co-operation in the longer term.

Submissive behaviour involves: Backing off. Giving in and keeping quiet when we should speak up. While we may avoid conflict by doing so, we will neither earn respect nor stand any chance of getting what we want.

Submissive behaviour involves:

Backing off.

Giving in and keeping quiet when we should speak up.

While we may avoid conflict by doing so, we will neither earn respect nor stand any chance of getting what we want.

Assertiveness is a way of behaving: That makes sure that we get the attention and respect of other people. It offers the best chance of getting what we want. It involves dealing honestly, openly and fairly with other people, which encourages them in turn to treat us in the same way. It is all about balance.

Assertiveness is a way of behaving:

That makes sure that we get the attention and respect of other people.

It offers the best chance of getting what we want.

It involves dealing honestly, openly and fairly with other people, which encourages them in turn to treat us in the same way.

It is all about balance.

HOW TO BE ASSERTIVE Be honest - about what is relevant. To behave assertively we have to be honest, with others and ourselves. Sometimes we avoid being honest because we are afraid of the consequences. At other times we can cross the boundary between honesty and rudeness by telling people “home truths" which have no relevance to the issue we are discussing. Situations

Be honest - about what is relevant.

To behave assertively we have to be honest, with others and ourselves.

Sometimes we avoid being honest because we are afraid of the consequences.

At other times we can cross the boundary between honesty and rudeness by telling people “home truths" which have no relevance to the issue we are discussing.

Situations

ANSWERS SITUATION -1 SITUATION - 2 AGGRESSIVE. Aggression does not have to involve shouting & banging the table. Manipulation, like this eg, is also aggressive. ASSERTIVE. The statement is clear. The refusal contains a reason. A solution is offered. These are all signs of assertive behaviour.

SITUATION -1

SITUATION - 2

AGGRESSIVE. Aggression does not have to involve shouting & banging the table. Manipulation, like this eg, is also aggressive.

ASSERTIVE. The statement is clear. The refusal contains a reason. A solution is offered. These are all signs of assertive behaviour.

SITUATION – 3 SITUATION – 4 SITUATION - 5 SUBMISSIVE. Personal put –downs are one of the worst forms of submissive behaviour. AGGRESSIVE. Watch out for making unsolicited comments about people’s personalities ( and they will mind you saying so!) ASSERTIVE. Assertive praise is always specific, rather than general.

SITUATION – 3

SITUATION – 4

SITUATION - 5

SUBMISSIVE. Personal put –downs are one of the worst forms of submissive behaviour.

AGGRESSIVE. Watch out for making unsolicited comments about people’s personalities ( and they will mind you saying so!)

ASSERTIVE. Assertive praise is always specific, rather than general.

SITUATION – 6 SITUATION – 7 SITUATION - 8 SUBMISSIVE ? It would depend on the tone of voice used, but long windedness is usually a sign of submissive behaviour. PASSIVE. Most people say assertive about this one. But it is a lie, so it can’t be. Assertive behaviour is not always the best approach! You can’t tell without hearing how this is said. Tone of voice carries a major part of the message.

SITUATION – 6

SITUATION – 7

SITUATION - 8

SUBMISSIVE ? It would depend on the tone of voice used, but long windedness is usually a sign of submissive behaviour.

PASSIVE. Most people say assertive about this one. But it is a lie, so it can’t be. Assertive behaviour is not always the best approach!

You can’t tell without hearing how this is said. Tone of voice carries a major part of the message.

SITUATION – 9 SITUATION -10 ASSERTIVE? Again, the tone is crucial. But it is specific & about the issue, not the personality, & that is a sign of assertiveness. SUBMISSIVE. People who fend you off when you go to the trouble of complimenting them can be very irritating.

SITUATION – 9

SITUATION -10

ASSERTIVE? Again, the tone is crucial. But it is specific & about the issue, not the personality, & that is a sign of assertiveness.

SUBMISSIVE. People who fend you off when you go to the trouble of complimenting them can be very irritating.

HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY ASSERTIVE CRITICISM Prepare . Be clear about: Relevant issues, with examples and hard evidence Avoid generalizations and personal remarks Objective-”will it help me to achieve what I want?” Response : likely to be less negative than we fear. Introduce the subject: It is a mistake to tip toe submissively around subjects, also a mistake to go in like a bull in a china shop. People need a little bit of warning that we have something serious to say to them.

ASSERTIVE CRITICISM

Prepare . Be clear about:

Relevant issues, with examples and hard evidence

Avoid generalizations and personal remarks

Objective-”will it help me to achieve what I want?”

Response : likely to be less negative than we fear.

Introduce the subject:

It is a mistake to tip toe submissively around subjects, also a mistake to go in like a bull in a china shop.

People need a little bit of warning that we have something serious to say to them.

Be specific: Be as clear as possible Avoid vague, aggressive statements Ask the person what they think: It is very important to start a conversation and turn this into a problem solving session. Ask for ideas: Once the other person accepts our criticism (assuming it is justified) we can develop solutions. Recap: Agree to what is going to happen to put the situation right.

Be specific:

Be as clear as possible

Avoid vague, aggressive statements

Ask the person what they think:

It is very important to start a conversation and turn this into a problem solving session.

Ask for ideas:

Once the other person accepts our criticism (assuming it is justified) we can develop solutions.

Recap:

Agree to what is going to happen to put the situation right.

HOW TO PRAISE ASSERTIVELY Honesty-again! Don’t give praise if it is not deserved, since it can simply devalue one of the most important motivators that managers have available to them. Be specific-again! Vague and woolly statements such as “jolly good”,” keep up the good work” are usually interpreted as ineffective and insincere. Assertive praise is specific ‘I am very pleased with the way you’ve managed to make the catalogue look attractive without losing the impact of the important technical information.” Do it now: Praise has a short shelf life.

Honesty-again!

Don’t give praise if it is not deserved, since it can simply devalue one of the most important motivators that managers have available to them.

Be specific-again!

Vague and woolly statements such as “jolly good”,” keep up the good work” are usually interpreted as ineffective and insincere. Assertive praise is specific ‘I am very pleased with the way you’ve managed to make the catalogue look attractive without losing the impact of the important technical information.”

Do it now:

Praise has a short shelf life.

SITUATION 1 You are a manager. An energetic, valuable member of your team is becoming increasingly dominant at team meetings. While this persons contributions are useful, the rest of the team is finding it hard to get a word in and are beginning to stop trying. SITUATION 2 You are a member of a team. You recently told a friend and colleague, in confidence, that you were considering applying for another job. A few minutes ago another member of the team made a remark which revealed that he knew you were thinking of going. As you have not told anybody else you feel you have to confront your colleague.

You are a manager. An energetic, valuable member of your team is becoming increasingly dominant at team meetings. While this persons contributions are useful, the rest of the team is finding it hard to get a word in and are beginning to stop trying.

SITUATION 2

You are a member of a team. You recently told a friend and colleague, in confidence, that you were considering applying for another job. A few minutes ago another member of the team made a remark which revealed that he knew you were thinking of going. As you have not told anybody else you feel you have to confront your colleague.

SITUATION 1 - ANSWER The issue Your objectives The issue is the effect that this person’s enthusiastic contribution is having on your team meetings. The objective is, first, to get her to accept that this behaviour is causing a problem, & then to work out & agree a solution which involves her being less dominant, but without stifling her valuable contributions.

The issue

Your objectives

The issue is the effect that this person’s enthusiastic contribution is having on your team meetings.

The objective is, first, to get her to accept that this behaviour is causing a problem, & then to work out & agree a solution which involves her being less dominant, but without stifling her valuable contributions.

Typical responses You might get an angry response. Alternatively she might assume that you do not value her contributions &therefore deflated & hurt by the criticism. It is quite likely that she will ask whether you are reacting to complaints from the rest of the team. ( it is very important to be prepared for a range of responses).

Typical responses

You might get an angry response. Alternatively she might assume that you do not value her contributions &therefore deflated & hurt by the criticism. It is quite likely that she will ask whether you are reacting to complaints from the rest of the team. ( it is very important to be prepared for a range of responses).

Your words You might say “ I want to talk to you about our team meetings. I have concern . You are a key member of the team. You are energetic & you make a big contribution. Recently, though, I think your enthusiasm has been carrying you away. I’m concerned that you are beginning to dominate the meetings. What do you think?”

Your words

You might say “ I want to talk to you about our team meetings. I have concern . You are a key member of the team. You are energetic & you make a big contribution. Recently, though, I think your enthusiasm has been carrying you away. I’m concerned that you are beginning to dominate the meetings. What do you think?”

SITUATION 2 - ANSWER The issue Your objectives The issue is whether the person betrayed your confidence. The objective is , first, to establish whether the person did tell someone else and, if they did , to get them to accept the fault & give you an undertaking not to do it again in similar circumstances.

The issue

Your objectives

The issue is whether the person betrayed your confidence.

The objective is , first, to establish whether the person did tell someone else and, if they did , to get them to accept the fault & give you an undertaking not to do it again in similar circumstances.

Typical responses You might get a straight denial (“ he did’nt get it from me” ) or an immediate apology ( “I’m sorry, we were chatting about job opportunities & it just slipped out”) or the person may admit it, but try to brush the incident off. (“I did’nt realise you were that bothered about keeping it quiet).

Typical responses

You might get a straight denial (“ he did’nt get it from me” ) or an immediate apology ( “I’m sorry, we were chatting about job opportunities & it just slipped out”) or the person may admit it, but try to brush the incident off.

(“I did’nt realise you were that bothered about keeping it quiet).

Your words You might say I’m very concerned about something. Yesterday I told you, in confidence, that I was looking for another job. This morning Harry said something to me from which it was quiet clear he knew all about it. Did you tell him ?

Your words

You might say I’m very concerned about something. Yesterday I told you, in confidence, that I was looking for another job. This morning Harry said something to me from which it was quiet clear he knew all about it. Did you tell him ?

STICKING TO THE BOTTOM LINE We have to decide what in a situation is negotiable and what is not. Behaving assertively means being as helpful as possible, but it also means standing our ground over issues on which we cannot move. Repetition- pressing the instant replay button is a powerful technique for doing so.

We have to decide what in a situation is negotiable and what is not. Behaving assertively means being as helpful as possible, but it also means standing our ground over issues on which we cannot move.

Repetition- pressing the instant replay button is a powerful technique for doing so.

DON’T: Apologize too much. A lot is submissive. Feel guilty. Make excuses. Excuses are not true and reasons are. Ramble. Refusal should be clear, concise and polite. Change your reasons for refusing under pressure. DO: Acknowledge the request.eg.”I understand that you would like the figures by 2 o'clock." This shows you have been listening. Give reasons for refusal. Suggest solutions if you can. If you are not sure whether you can say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ ask for more time and information.

DON’T:

Apologize too much. A lot is submissive.

Feel guilty.

Make excuses. Excuses are not true and reasons are.

Ramble. Refusal should be clear, concise and polite.

Change your reasons for refusing under pressure.

DO:

Acknowledge the request.eg.”I understand that you would like the figures by 2 o'clock." This shows you have been listening.

Give reasons for refusal.

Suggest solutions if you can.

If you are not sure whether you can say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ ask for more time and information.

NEGOTIATING AS EQUALS Make it clear you are negotiating as equals. We must listen to what the other person is saying; try to be helpful; offer alternatives; ask for suggestions. Don’t get emotionally involved.

Make it clear you are negotiating as equals.

We must listen to what the other person is saying; try to be helpful; offer alternatives; ask for suggestions.

Don’t get emotionally involved.

NEGOTIATING AS EQUALS Watch your body. Acknowledge the emotion. Say something like ‘I can see you are angry about this’. Tell the person how you feel about their behaviour-’ your behaviour is starting to make me angry and that won’t get us anywhere’. Make a helpful suggestion.' Why don’t we get a coffee, go into the conference room and sort this out.’ If the person still persists walk away. If he is ready to hit you with a chair run. Submissive behaviour is best on such occasions.

Watch your body.

Acknowledge the emotion. Say something like ‘I can see you are angry about this’.

Tell the person how you feel about their behaviour-’ your behaviour is starting to make me angry and that won’t get us anywhere’.

Make a helpful suggestion.' Why don’t we get a coffee, go into the conference room and sort this out.’

If the person still persists walk away.

If he is ready to hit you with a chair run. Submissive behaviour is best on such occasions.

DRINKS DISPENSER Three months ago a company agreed to take one of your dispenser on trial. The trial period is almost over. You are about to meet the manager who will make the decision whether or not to keep the dispenser. You have had some informal feedback from someone in the company that the manager is not too happy with it. Use whatever techniques you want to persuade the manager to keep it. Don’t take no for an answer!

Three months ago a company agreed to take one of your dispenser on trial. The trial period is almost over. You are about to meet the manager who will make the decision whether or not to keep the dispenser. You have had some informal feedback from someone in the company that the manager is not too happy with it. Use whatever techniques you want to persuade the manager to keep it. Don’t take no for an answer!

LAST – MINUTE WORK You are a manager who shares a secretary with a number of colleagues. It is 4.00 p.m.and your secretary is due to leave at 5.30.You have just discovered a very important job that you must complete by the end of the day. It should take your secretary about an hour. Use whatever techniques you want to make sure the work gets done. Don't take no for an answer!

You are a manager who shares a secretary with a number of colleagues. It is 4.00 p.m.and your secretary is due to leave at 5.30.You have just discovered a very important job that you must complete by the end of the day. It should take your secretary about an hour. Use whatever techniques you want to make sure the work gets done. Don't take no for an answer!

ACTION PLAN Assertiveness is a skill that we should be using everyday in a whole spectrum of situations. To demonstrate competence, make brief notes of how you have handled tricky situations.eg. Reacting to aggression Handling submissive behaviour in others Refusing requests assertively Giving and receiving criticism Handling difficult meetings Giving constructive feedback Giving and receiving praise Asking for help.

Assertiveness is a skill that we should be using everyday in a whole spectrum of situations. To demonstrate competence, make brief notes of how you have handled tricky situations.eg.

Reacting to aggression

Handling submissive behaviour in others

Refusing requests assertively

Giving and receiving criticism

Handling difficult meetings

Giving constructive feedback

Giving and receiving praise

Asking for help.

Add a comment

Related presentations

Related pages

Straight Talking Communications | Telling it like it is

Welcome to Straight talking communications – a specialist marketing and communications consultancy that offers you everything you need to market your ...
Read more

Straight Talking

straight talking presentation coaching and consultancy, bespoke one day courses, residential programmes, speaker training, business presentations, training ...
Read more

Employee empowerment video -- Straight talking - YouTube

To view the full programme visit http://www.videoarts.com/assertiveness/straight-talking/ A trailer from the classic Video Arts assertiveness ...
Read more

About me | Straight Talking Communications

Discover more about Philippa Cowley-Thwaites at Straight Talking Comms Ltd. Cost effective copywriting, brand and communications audits and workshops.
Read more

Straight Talking Communications | Communities Can

Straight talking communications helps not for profit and public sector organisations position and differentiate themselves effectively in the market place ...
Read more

straight talking building effective communication skills ...

the art of communication in everyday life, building and learning the tools for effective communication skills. Recognizing how shame works in ...
Read more

Straight Talking The Art of Assertiveness - Alliance Learning

Outline for Straight Talking – The Art of Assertiveness Introduction From the boardroom to the factory floor, confident and assertive staff are vital
Read more

Straight Talking Communications - BIG Assist

Straight talking communications helps not for profit and public sector organisations position and differentiate themselves effectively in the market place ...
Read more

My LRI :: Straight Talk: Understanding Communication Styles

My LRI - Straight Talk: Understanding Communication Styles page ... is understanding that we all have different communication styles. In Straight Talk, ...
Read more