Published on November 24, 2016
1. Since early childhood, boys and girls are taught to conform to strict gender roles
2. With dramatic impact for girls…
3. …and for boys
4. And the impact is global
5. Yet, denial is still widespread • A way to avoid change is to first refuse to acknowledge the problem. • And denial takes many forms: – Questioning the figures – Relativizing the situation – Saying it’s already better now – Making jokes – Being cynical about it • Leveraging different strategies as defense mechanisms and protection.
6. Because change triggers fears • Standard gender roles are safe and comforting • Change is uncomfortable: – Will I lose my privilege? – What is my new role? – What is my identity? – What Is OK and not OK now? I am lost.
7. Fear of losing power from the men
8. Fear of losing love from the women • The patriarchal thread that runs through all dysfunctional dynamics between mothers and daughters is the demand for obedience in exchange for love. • Fear of “existential nothingness”, Mary Daly • Threat of loss of communication, love and approval from man in her life.
9. Universal Stories/ Myths/ Archetypes/ Religions META CULTURAL LEVEL MEDIA ArtComic Photo Literature TV CinemaAdvertising Music Create beliefs, images, stereotypes, roles LanguageWORDS Jokes EDUCATION ToysPlaygroundHousehold chores School Sports ConfidenceBody imageGIRLS GLOBAL LEVEL INDIVIDUAL LEVEL Talkativeness Political representationLEADERSHIP: WORK Boardrooms Tech and scienceMoney and investment Public speaking RELATIONSHIPS: LOVE Porn Sex education Sex practicesDating Rape Sexual assault HarassmentDomestic violence GLOBAL LEVEL Self esteem BOYS Emotional intelligence Feelings repressed Violence Prostitution Sex trade Body posture Equal pay CITY Urbanism Transport We need to work on many levels Clothes Common expressions Insults
10. Big changes start with small actions: which is YOUR battle?
11. My choice is to work on the stories THE INDIVIDUAL ONES THE COLLECTIVE ONES I teach storytelling as a tool to change your internal and external narrative.
13. Because women have been excluded from History making
14. We perceive historical events from white catholic male perspective • Example: Columbus day – Genocide or discovery? – Mistake or historical turning point?
15. Crusades • Holy war or terrorism and slaughter? • Fanatism or just cause?
16. Women’s acts and experiences have been unrecorded and ignored • The record of the human race is a partial one. • The vision is distorted, seen from the male viewpoint only. • Women are the majority, yet we are structured into social situations as if we were a minority. • Creative and educated women have barely left an imprint.
17. A great unconscious dominance way is to silence others. • Speaking louder • Speaking on behalf of others • Occupying the space • Interrupting the conversation • Not listening to others. • Making fun of the other
18. WE ARE NOT PART OF THE STORY.
19. There is a contradiction between women’s central active role in creating society and marginality in meaning giving process • Women are essential and central to creating society. • Women have made history, yet they have been kept from knowing it. • Women have been excluded from creating symbol systems and theory formation. • Women lasted 3.500 years to realize their own subordinate position in society.
20. And women are even more targeted by negative narratives You are fat You can’t please your partner You are a bad mother You are not enough Women don’t know how to drive Women lie Women change opinion all the time Women are emotional
21. These constant messages have a huge impact in terms of self-esteem
22. Your significance in history is key for psychic well being • The myth that women are marginal to the creation of history and civilization has profoundly affected the psychology of women and men. • The denial to women of their history has reinforced their acceptance of the ideology of patriarchy and has undermined the individual woman’s sense of self worth. • Men’s version of history has become the universal truth.
23. You are insignificant • One cannot think universal when oneself is excluded from the generic. • How resilient have we been to survive during more than 3.000 years in a world constantly denying our worth…
24. When we see with one eye, our vision is limited in range and devoid in depth. • Men and women live on a stage. But men have written the play and directed the show. • Equal parts will not make women equal if the script is still written by men • Feminists point to that stage.
25. We need a system shift. Like the one from Ptolemaic to Copernic system
26. From you are nothing, invisible, worthless To you are half of the reality
27. We need to reclaim power at individual and collective level • Women’s history is indispensable and essential to the emancipation of women. It changes their lives. • We need a shift of consciousness.
28. You are the vehicle for change • Social change is a marathon: – Know yourself! – Preserve your energy! – Cultivate your positivity!
29. Now let’s work on your own russian doll #unstereotype
30. Universal Stories/ Myths/ Archetypes • Give me examples of universal stories in your country conveying gender stereotypes. What is their message? • Do you know any folk tale telling the story of powerful women? Which one?
31. Media • Think about the last movies you have seen, books you have read. – Were they directed by a woman? – How were they portraying men and women? – Which roles did they have?
32. City • Think about the city you live in. • Any street or square named after a female? • Which way of transport do you use frequently? • How comfortable do you feel in them?
33. Language • Could you list some expressions or words you commonly use which have a gender connotation? • Think about insults, common phrases, expressions with different meanings for male and female. • Do you speak a lot or are you more shy? • Do you tend to interrupt often? • How much do you actually listen? • Do you accept compliments easily? • Do you apologize a lot? • Do you use shrinking language? • Which words define you best? • How often do you speak in public?
34. Family • Give me examples of stories running in your family. • Any limiting narratives involved? • Which ones? For who?
35. Household chores • Think about your house. Now or when you were a child. • Who is doing what?
36. Children • What were the last toys or outfits you bought for your children or friends’ children? What were they? • Any books or fairy tales? • Which sports do they practice? • Which activity? • Remember your time at school. Which were the historical women you learnt about? • Do you have different rules for sons and daughters? Why?
37. Body • Do you like your body? Why? • What about your daughter? Son? • Which body posture is most common for you? • How conscious are you about the clothes you wear?
38. Sex education • How much do you know about sex? • When and how did you learn it? • What do you actually teach your kids? • Do you talk to your boys about consent? Women’s pleasure? Contraception? • To your daughters about their current and future relationships? • How judgemental are you about others?
39. Sports • Do you practice any physical activity? • Which one?
40. Violence • Have you ever been confronted to gender based violence? At home? In the street? • How did you react? • What was the reaction of the environment?
41. Work • Did you have any limitation at work related to your gender? • Any remark during job interview or assessment? • How did you react? • How did you choose your professional orientation? • Do you have a mentor? • Are you paid as much as your colleague? • Did you experience any harassment? • Have you witnessed a sexist joke or comment lately? What did you do?
42. Money • How comfortable are you with money? • When was the last time you asked for a raise? • Have you considered being an investor yourself?
43. Leadership • Do you portray yourself as a leader? • Would you run for office? • Would you lead a company? • How would you assess your level of self- esteem? • Have you ever been inspired by a female leader? Who?
44. Now which commitment would you like to make for the future? It’s time to shift the balance!