Published on January 22, 2009
Zen and the art of blogging about Motorcycle maintenance despite not knowing the difference between a spark plug and a silencer Krish Ashok Doing Jalsa and Showing Jilpa Star Date -314058.67
2 parts to this workshop • The Not-so-Useful • The Useful
This is the not-so- useful part
Always listen to the skeptics Blogging Noun. The act of taking a dustbin, and emptying it on top of a steaming pile of uncollected garbage Blogging It’s deforestation with an extra letter Blogging It’s burdening with an extra letter. Rather literally
Why did I start blogging? I originally started blogging about atheism because I wanted to parade my ignorance loudly enough for someone to care enough to correct me and inform me. and = Guaranteed comments/trafﬁc http://warpedperspective.rediffblogs.com/
But.. No one cared.
Turns out There’s way too many uninformed people on the internets
Lesson 0 T/N 0 N = Number of poorly informed people T = Net Time available
So.. I decided to blog about nothing in particular, everything in general and mostly about nonsense PS: It’s hard to ﬁnd fault with absurdity
PS: DJSJ is not the Tamil pronunciation of Doing Salsa and Showing Shilpa
Jalsa = Illicit gratiﬁcation Jilpa = Expounding on matters one is ignorant about Terry Pratchett Books Superstar Violin Some dude playing the guitar
Jusht For Your FYI Chennai 600028 is a cult movie
Basic Ingredients Festivals Science Carnatic Music Math Shakespeare Hitchhikers Guide Madras Bashai Travel Web 2.0 Pour in Sumeet Mixie, blend and serve
Each of my posts is an exercise in how much nonsense I can pack into 800-900 words and continue to marvel at how people still say - “great post KA”
I don’t really know what my niche audience is Indians Tamils Engineers Carnatic lovers Douglas Adams fans People who speak Madras Bashai
I am not a career blogger
And since I am uniquely unqualiﬁed to advise all of you...
Krish Ashok’s Blogging Advice Gyaan Knowledge Sharing Instructions Enlightenment Commandments edicts rubric manual guide tutorial handbook counsel words of wisdom pointers hints tips Jilpa Fatta Hawa Phillim Mostly Peter
Have something to say PS: Actually, that’s optional
Initiate mutual backscratching processes with other bloggers
The moment you have an opinion....
Enter The Trolls
Anatomy of a Troll Usual hangout: Rediff comments section, but comments on Name whispered into his ear at his blogs once in a while naming ceremony Loves Gay people Adept at identifying sexual preferences from blog post content Incredibly real Email id Top secret site not indexed by Google ps: Blogging is no fun without trolls
Highly Unethical Trafﬁc tip Trolls refresh your blog a million times a day just to check to see if any one has bothered to disagree with their obviously-designed- to-provoke comment
But DJSJ has been mostly troll-free Why, I wonder? Perhaps because I usually have no strong opinions, I mean, at least opinions that I cannot quickly change. Weekly dose of absurdity is what I aspire to ps: It’s hard to troll absurdity
I am not wedded to positions When I learn better, I am usually quick to Positions Divorce Papers
Your audience is almost always smarter and funnier than you
Some will like everything you say Some will urge you to write about things they feel strongly about Some will be nostalgic about the good ol’ days when you were a better blogger
Your audience will inﬂuence you There’s no escaping that. Deal with it.
It’s just a damn blog (one in a 100+ million) But You will learn to value criticism from strangers ps:Your close friends don’t count
You will become addicted to Stats
The parallels are obvious Friends introduce you. You start checking it out. It’s good fun It becomes an obsession You can’t live without your daily ﬁx to save us all from this Perhaps we need menace
to I urge Scoble to not share his blog stats in public as it sets a bad example for our blogging youth
My blog taught me to be intellectually honest. My audience calls out any BS I try to pull Over a period of time, I’ve learnt to question more, research more and be a more rational person ps: Even Absurdity has Standards, you know
Don’t take your blog too seriously But be passionate about it TM Passionate Non-seriousness
A quick list of Good Blog Attributes
Be Web 2.0-ish
And one last lesson.. and the most important one at that All the things I told you so far Bad Advice.
Listen to Kiruba He’s the real deal = pseudo-intellectual amateur musician software- type-boring-person who blogs about absurdity for fun = an entrepreneur whose has built a career out of his blog
And since I’m using Apple Keynote.. One last thing...
Most Frequently Asked Question Where do you ﬁnd the time?
Some perspective ﬁrst According to Clay Shirky Effort (approx) to create Wikipedia 100 million hours Time spent consumed by TV just in the US 200 billion hours OR 100 million hours just watching ads on a weekend Ref: http://www.herecomeseverybody.org/2008/04/looking-for-the-mouse.html
List of things I’m doing right now Playing pranks on my wife Learning to play Rondo Alla Turca, Prelude in C, and the Moonlight Sonata” on the Piano Prelude in C for Cello (Bach) A Ragam Thaanam Pallavi in Shankarabharanam on the violin A Weekly radio show on Tech/Web on 104.8 FM Write columns for newspapers Playing the latest Prince of Persia Coding an online version of Scotland Yard using Ruby on Rails and Google Maps (with real places) - called Maanagara Kaaval Updating my blog once a week and oh...my day job at a large IT ﬁrm that involves quite a bit of travel
And still... I’m wasting a tremendous amount of time every week
So.. The Krish Ashok Super-Mega-Secret Temporal Chromatography Technique The scientiﬁc method of separating/extracting time from things it’s hard to separate it from
So.. The patent-pending Time ﬁnding method..
Look for it The next person who asks me where I ﬁnd time needs to ﬁx an appointment with Shankar Nethraalaya
Thank you If you have questions, Kiruba will be happy to take them
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