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Information about ARChapter4

Published on January 15, 2008

Author: Carmela


Authentic Relationships:  Authentic Relationships discover the lost art of “One Anothering” By Wayne Jacobsen and Clay Jacobsen Chapter 4 Adapted from: Part 1- Starting Inside Chapter 4 - It’s Not All about You:  NIV Romans 12:10a Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Part 1- Starting Inside Chapter 4 - It’s Not All about You NIV Romans 12:10b Honor one another above yourselves. Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Chapter 4 - It’s Not All about You (cont.):  Like a spinning merry-go-round on the playground, a self focused life will unwittingly push others away Chapter 4 - It’s Not All about You (cont.) If we are going to participate in the joy of “one anothering”, we need to let Jesus rewire our thinking so that we are even more aware of others than we are of ourselves Not Here for Me:  If anyone has ever deserved to be the center of attention and to demand others serve his needs, it was Jesus Not Here for Me He created the world, gave life to His disciples, chose them out of the world, and soon would be executed for their redemption He had the right to demand their service But He did not! Not Here for Me (cont.):  NKJ Mark 10:45 "For even the Son of Man did not come to be served [deaconed], but to serve [be a deacon], and to give His life a ransom for many." Not Here for Me (cont.) Jesus had just told His disciples that He was going to Jerusalem to be beaten and crucified However, the disciples were too busy thinking about themselves to understand what Jesus said James and John were busy asking for the best seats in the Kingdom The other disciples were just mad because James and John had asked first Not Here for Me (cont.):  Most people treat others as their servants, trying to get out of them whatever they need to be happy Not Here for Me (cont.) We naturally focused on our needs and desires, trying to maximize gain or minimize pain As a consequence, our selfish actions and defense mechanisms kick in with hardly any forethought We struggle to satisfy self, which is our greatest tyranny Instead of relaxing in the moment, we constantly have to manipulate it We use people instead of loving them Not Here for Me (cont.):  If Jesus, the one that had the right to demand that kind of attention, refused it in order to give His life away to others, what more do we need to know? Not Here for Me (cont.) Jesus wanted His followers to understand that just the opposite was true in His Kingdom He had not come to make people meet His needs but to be available to touch their needs This is a secret to the fulfilled and fruitful life in Christ! Not Here for Me (cont.):  However, changing the focus from ourselves to others does not happen just by choice Not Here for Me (cont.) Trying to put everyone else’s needs above our own will wear us out and we will revert back to looking out for ourselves A life lived in love will only work out of a growing trust in God to provide for us and show us how to love people He has put near us Again, we must not love others trying to please God (dead work) but rather love others knowing that God is already pleased with us in Christ (good work). Not to please but rather bring pleasure Not Here for Me (cont.):  The key is living our lives with only one motive - to bring honor to Jesus Christ our Lord Not Here for Me (cont.) This can not be done in our ability This can be done by ensuring that everything we do, including all prayer requests to our Heavenly Father, have the motive of honoring Christ Jesus our Lord and Savior Realize the Holy Spirit’s primary mission to the church is to bring honor to Jesus The Holy Spirit mainly honors Jesus by revealing Him in and through us! Not Here for Me (cont.):  NKJ 2 Corinthians 3:18 But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord. Not Here for Me (cont.) NKJ John 14:26 "But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all things that I said to you. NKJ John 16:13 "However, when He, the Spirit of truth, has come, He will guide you into all truth; for He will not speak on His own authority, but whatever He hears He will speak; and He will tell you things to come. NKJ 1 John 2:27 But the anointing which you have received from Him abides in you, and you do not need that anyone teach you; but as the same anointing teaches you concerning all things, and is true, and is not a lie, and just as it has taught you, you will abide in Him. NKJ Luke 12:11 "Now when they bring you to the synagogues and magistrates and authorities, do not worry about how or what you should answer, or what you should say. 12 "For the Holy Spirit will teach you in that very hour what you ought to say." Not Here for Me (cont.):  Honoring Jesus glorifies our Heavenly Father! Not Here for Me (cont.) Jesus spoke these words, lifted up His eyes to heaven, and said: "Father, the hour has come. Glorify Your Son, that Your Son also may glorify You, NKJ John 17:1 Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. NKJ 1 Corinthians 10:31 And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him. NKJ Colossians 3:17 And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men, NKJ Colossians 3:23 But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellence of the power may be of God and not of us. NKJ 2 Corinthians 4:7 "Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven. NKJ Matthew 5:16 Who’s Got My Back:  The best moments in marriage do not come when each partner is looking out for his or her own rights Who’s Got My Back They come when each partner looks after the interests of the other Instead of each having to manipulate the other to be fulfilled, each looks out for the other’s needs and desires However, we will never spin free of orbiting around our concerns in our own ability We must allow God to take care of them Who’s Got My Back (cont.):  Jesus could go through life responding to others around Him because he trusted that God would look after His needs Who’s Got My Back (cont.) He did not have to walk into circumstances protecting Himself or trying to get His way He knew His Heavenly Father would provide everything He needed Who’s Got My Back (cont.):  NKJ Matthew 6:24 " No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be loyal to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon. Who’s Got My Back (cont.) 25 " Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? 26 "Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? 27 "Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature? 28 "So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; 29 "and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. Who’s Got My Back (cont.):  Who’s Got My Back (cont.) NKJ Philippians 4:6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. 6:30 "Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31 "Therefore do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 32 "For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. 33 "But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. 34 "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. Who’s Got My Back (cont.):  True freedom comes when we know that our whole life is in God’s hands and that He will provide everything we need Who’s Got My Back (cont.) We no longer have to fight for things at someone else’s expense We can then be relaxed enough to do the things that bless someone else The Ruse of Expectations:  Jesus could have been devastated by the fact that, in the face of death, the disciples cared only about their positions in His future Kingdom The Ruse of Expectations He was not because he knew selfishness dominates most human relationships and was past their failures before they were Nothing Jesus’ friends did seemed to bother Him Martha thought kitchen chores more important than conversing with him Peter vehemently denied Him three times at the trial Thomas doubted His resurrection The Ruse of Expectations (cont.):  Jesus did not lace His relationships with expectations and He refused to be trapped when others sought to put their expectations on Him The Ruse of Expectations (cont.) He did not tell people all they wanted to know He did not heal people just to prove His power Many misunderstood Him, others were angry Yet He just kept loving them as they were, gently pointing them to the truth and letting them decide whether it was “worth it” to come and follow Him He refused to manipulate people even for their own good and was not crushed when they turned on Him The Ruse of Expectations (cont.):  Expectations are resentments waiting to happen The Ruse of Expectations (cont.) We sabotage many of our relationships by imposing expectations on others or trying to meet theirs It can not be done! People who live with expectations will never be satisfied We still love those who impose their expectations on us However, we will have to find peace knowing that we may never be able to love them their way The Ruse of Expectations (cont.):  Disappointments are the surest test that we are captive to expectations The Ruse of Expectations (cont.) Have you found yourself saying: If they loved me, they wouldn’t (or would) have… After all I have done for them, you would think… These are signs that we have fallen into a trap from which there is only one escape Instead of letting your disappointment rage at whoever has not done what you thought he or she should Ask Jesus to help you trust Him to bring whoever or whatever you need into your life without demanding that it come your way The Ruse of Expectations (cont.):  Having expectations is not wrong just misplaced if they are applied to people The Ruse of Expectations (cont.) Our expectations should only be for God to be true to His Word Only God does not change! NKJ Malachi 3:6a "For I am the LORD, I do not change; NKJ Hebrews 13:8 Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever. Therefore, only God will not disappoint us Be Devoted to One Another:  Be Devoted to One Another Not committed to one another but rather devoted to one another When we substitute commitment for affection, we mistake the shadow for reality As we experience God’s affection for us, we will find ourselves having affection in our hearts for others - we become devoted to them! Ask Jesus to help you trust Him to bring whoever or whatever you need into your life without demanding that it come your way NIV Romans 12:10a Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Be Devoted to One Another (cont.):  NKJ Romans 13:8 Owe no one anything except to love one another, for he who loves another has fulfilled the law. Be Devoted to One Another (cont.) If we learn to love one another, we will need nothing more We will not need commitment, we will not fall victim to expectations, and will not be disappointed when other do not do for us what has been done for them Remember, God’s love demands nothing in return Be Devoted to One Another (cont.):  For every 30 to 40 people we love like this 1 or 2 just might respond with similar concern for us Be Devoted to One Another (cont.) These are the ones with whom we will get to experience a depth of spiritual community that is unrivaled by anything else in this world This is the basis of our men’s accountability groups Our Men’s small groups provide a Bible centered laboratory where men learn how to apply the principles of the Christian faith to everyday life Honor One Another above Yourselves:  NIV Romans 12:10b Honor one another above yourselves. Honor One Another above Yourselves Honoring others above ourselves simply means to put their needs above our own and to watch out for their wellbeing The stronger we are in our faith, the freer we will be to defer to the needs of the weaker Not demanding what we want but rather being ready to help others get what they need is the essence of genuine church life We should come to church to be a blessing! Honor One Another above Yourselves (cont.):  However, we have been schooled as consumers in church, finding fellowship where our needs are met Honor One Another above Yourselves (cont.) Where we get fed, have the worship experience we prefer, unload our guilt, have our children disciplined, and maybe even gather some business contacts Consumers will never discover the joy of Christian community Orbiting around our needs causes us to miss the freedom of preferring others Honor One Another above Yourselves (cont.):  Consumers will never know the joy of: Honor One Another above Yourselves (cont.) taking the last place in line at a potluck helping make sure every mess is cleaned up before they leave caring more about how someone heard it than how we said it giving up a personal want for someone else’s need Honor One Another above Yourselves (cont.):  Can you image how a group of people who honor others above themselves would make God’s love known in a self-preferring world? Honor One Another above Yourselves (cont.) It can happen so simply When God has so satisfied you that you can trust him to fulfill every hunger in your life, you are ready to experience the depths of one anothering! Honor One Another above Yourselves (cont.):  Oh so you been overlooked? Honor One Another above Yourselves (cont.) They have placed someone else before you? They have whispered that you are pretty small stuff after all? And now you feel hurt because the world is saying about you the very things you have been saying about yourself? Only yesterday you were telling God that you were nothing, a mere worm of the dust Where is your consistency? Come on, humble yourself and cease to care what men think Excerpted from “The Pursuit of God” by A.W. Tozer Cat and Dog Theology Genesis Chapter 1:  Cat and Dog Theology Genesis Chapter 1 Why are most Christians bored? They view the Bible from a people-centered view of the Scriptures Most don’t get excited until Genesis 3, then they have something to live for…saving the lost world! They have nonverbally communicated to themselves and God that the Bible is all about people Genesis Chapter 1:  Genesis Chapter 1 Two views on the main character of the Bible: God is the main character of the Bible and lives to radiate His glory; therefore, God lives for God Humanity is the main character of the Bible and God lives to provide for us; therefore, God lives for humanity The average true believer says the Bible is all about God, but lives as if humanity is … Consequently, humanity often replaces God as the main character of the Bible Genesis Chapter 1 (cont.):  Genesis Chapter 1 (cont.) Let’s look at two examples: First example: What did God get out of Jesus’ death? Most Christians want to say “He got us” but that is jumping straight back into a people-centered perspective! He also received glory, honor, praise, adoration and obedience. Most Christians overlook this Second example: Why don’t you want others to go to hell? Most people don’t want others to go to hell because they’ll suffer (back to a people centered perspective) David talks about the praise God wouldn’t receive NKJ Psalm 30:9 "What profit is there in my blood, When I go down to the pit? Will the dust praise You? Will it declare Your truth? Cat and Dog Theology:  Cat and Dog Theology These two views on the Bible’s main character have “birthed” two types of Christianity. These two differences are seen in the different attitudes between a dog and a cat A dog says: “You pet me, you feed me, you shelter me, you love me, You must be God.” A cat says: “You pet me, you feed me, you shelter me, you love me, I must be God.” It’s very hard to differentiate between a Dog and a Cat in church. They both look and act “Christian” but there is a huge difference in their heart attitude Getting to Heaven:  Getting to Heaven Cats have a tendency to walk away from hell. Their sole focus is on themselves. Dogs walk toward heaven having fallen in love with God Many Christians today are joyless simply because they are still focused on themselves and are walking away from hell NKJ Matthew 13:44 " Again, the kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field, which a man found and hid; and for joy over it he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field. Guarantee of Salvation:  Guarantee of Salvation Cats are sure they are Christians because they “prayed a prayer” some time in their lives. Dogs are sure they are Christians because they hunger for God in their lives. This is how they know they are believers whether or not they prayed a prayer at some time in their lives Obedience School:  Obedience School Both Cats and Dogs want obedience in their lives. Dogs want to obey God. Cats want God to obey them You usually see this reflected in the motive for their prayer requests: Cats pray for a more Christ-like spouse in order to have a better quality of life for themselves and children Dogs pray for a more Christ-like spouse in order for the name of Jesus to no longer be reproached by their poor behavior Quiet Times:  Quiet Times Both Cats and Dogs have quiet times Dogs focus on God’s glory (they think, “How is God’s reputation being affected by my life?”) Cats focus on themselves (how can they better their life…?) Prayer:  Prayer Dogs pray to establish God’s kingdom. Cats pray to establish their own kingdom Blessing and Responsibilities:  Blessing and Responsibilities Cats want all the blessings and none of the responsibilities As a result, two major problems arise in Cat Theology An incomplete gospel comes about, and Cats have mixed-up priorities Incomplete Gospel:  Incomplete Gospel Over time, Cat Theology develops into an incomplete gospel Cats are saved from hell and it stops there This is not incorrect, but it is incomplete Dogs are saved from hell, FOR WORSHIP In Our Prayers:  In Our Prayers Praying “Father, thank you for dying on the cross for our sins” is not incorrect, but it is incomplete He died on the cross for our sins SO THAT we might point to God and glorify Him In Our Blessings:  In Our Blessings Cats focus on gathering all of God’s blessings with a bucket. And once they have them, they keep them Dogs gather as many blessings as they can from God and pass them on to others. They know that the blessings are meant to go through them to others Mixed up Priorities Blessings and Glory:  Mixed up Priorities Blessings and Glory Both Cats and Dogs want to see God glorified and want to be blessed by God Dogs hunger more for God’s glory Whereas Cats hunger more for the blessings Worship:  Worship Dogs worship God primarily for who He is Cats worship God primarily for what He’s done for them Tessara:  Tessara Why all these differences? Dogs study “Theology” while Cats study “MEology.” Dogs see God’s glory like a stained glass window. Each piece of glass is called a “tessera.” Each tessera uniquely displays God’s glory, such as the animal kingdom, the family unit, taste, the stars. “Glory is any revelation or expression of His excellency in His presence, creativity and/or character” One way God chooses to reveal His glory is through blessing us! Satan’s Strategy:  Satan’s Strategy Satan doesn’t want Christians to focus on God’s glory. His strategy is to get humanity to focus in on something “safe” and “close to God’s heart” so their focus is off of God’s glory As a result, we begin to think that life is all about us. Because of this, we make a foundational shift in our theology Our focus goes off of God glorifying Himself through blessing us Our focus is on receiving the blessings from God, and we become primary; God’s glory becomes secondary Cat’s are Living for Themselves:  Cat’s are Living for Themselves Cats are basically living for themselves in a Christian context They’ve rejected other “ways” of life and have chosen Christianity as the best way to live for themselves Therefore, Life is still all about them WDGG:  WDGG Dogs ask one key question as they go through life: What Does God Get? As a result, they realize that life is for God, it is not for us They see the joy God had in Genesis 1 while He was creating! A Prayer of Repentance:  A Prayer of Repentance Heavenly Father please forgive us: For thinking life was about us and not You For advancing our kingdom and not Yours For seeking Your blessings more than You For an incomplete Christianity For mixed-up priorities For living for ourselves in a Christian context For not seeing Your glory all around us We repent. Fill us again with your Holy Spirit that we might live to make You famous Slide50:  Loving one another (John 13:34) Forgiving one another (Ephesians 4:32) Accepting one another (Romans 15:7) Bearing with one another (Ephesians 4:2) Being devoted to one another (Romans 12:10) Honoring one another above ourselves (Romans 12:10) Greeting one another (2 Corinthians 13:12) Being hospitable to one another (1Peter 4:9) Being kind and compassionate to one another (Eph. 4:32) Sharing with one another (Hebrews 13:16) One Anothering Homework:  Homework Read Part 2, Chapters 5 & 6 Initial contact Sharing God’s Kindness Meet next week Wednesday at 6:00 PM in Room A124 Visit this link and read more about Cat and Dog Theology “Pray the Word” Daily Pray the Word (Philippians 1:9-11):  Pray the Word (Philippians 1:9-11) I pray that our love may abound still more and more in knowledge and all discernment, that we may approve the things that are excellent, that we may be sincere and without offense till the day of Christ, being filled with the fruits of righteousness which are by Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God. Discussion Questions:  Discussion Questions Turn to page 54

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