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Anatomy of Peace

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Information about Anatomy of Peace
Business & Mgmt

Published on November 20, 2008

Author: davidwatterson

Source: slideshare.net

Description

A philosophy and method to successful apadative management of people.
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The Anatomy of Peace An approach to performance and behavior management

Heart at Peace – A way of Being BEHAVIORS HEART AT PEACE Others are PEOPLE: Hopes, needs, cares, and fear as real to me as my own HEART AT WAR Others are OBJECTS: Obstacles Vehicles Irrelevancies

What is “Self Betrayal”? An act contrary to what I feel I should do for another is called an act of “self-betrayal” When I betray myself, I begin to see the worlkd in a way that justifies my self-betrayal When I see a self-justifying world, my view of reality becomes distorted So – when I betray myself, I enter the box. Over time, certain boxes become characteristic of me, and I carry them with me. By being in the box, I provoke others to be in the box I the box, we invite mutual mistreatment and obtaini mutual justification. We collude in giving each other reason to stay in the box.

An act contrary to what I feel I should do for another is called an act of “self-betrayal”

When I betray myself, I begin to see the worlkd in a way that justifies my self-betrayal

When I see a self-justifying world, my view of reality becomes distorted

So – when I betray myself, I enter the box.

Over time, certain boxes become characteristic of me, and I carry them with me.

By being in the box, I provoke others to be in the box

I the box, we invite mutual mistreatment and obtaini mutual justification. We collude in giving each other reason to stay in the box.

The Collusion Diagram She or He Does I See I Do She or He Sees

She or He Does

I See

I Do

She or He Sees

The Collusion Diagram She or He Does I See I Do She or He Sees ALLIES ALLIES

She or He Does

I See

I Do

She or He Sees

A Heart at Peace is a choice Sense / Desire Helping a person Choice Honor the Sense Betray the Sense I continue to see others as a PERSON like myself person like myself I begin to see others in ways that justify my self-betrayal. They become an OBJECT of Blame My Heart Goes to War View of myself View of Others Feelings View of World

The BETTER THAN Box View of Myself View of Others Feelings View of World Superior Important Virtuous/Right Inferior Incapable/Irrelevant False/Wrong Impatient Disdainful Indifferent Competitive Troubled Needs Me

The I DESERVE Box View of Myself View of Others Feelings View of World Meritorious Mistreated/Victim Unappreciated Mistaken Mistreating Ungrateful Entitled Deprived Resentful Unfair Unjust Owes Me

The MUST BE SEEN AS Box View of Myself View of Others Feelings View of World Need to be well thought of. Fake Judgmental Threatening My audience Anxious/Afraid Needy/Stressed Overwhelmed Dangerous Watching Judging Me

The WORSE THAN Box View of Myself View of Others Feelings View of World Not as good Broken/Deficient Fated Advantaged Privileged Blessed Helpless Jealous/Bitter Depressed Hard/Difficult Against Me Ignoring me

Small Group Discussions What are your general reactions to this concept? Why is it hard to think of yourself in the boxes described Do you see any of the tendencies of someone at war in challenging relationships you have? Is it possible to be out of the box all the time?

What are your general reactions to this concept?

Why is it hard to think of yourself in the boxes described

Do you see any of the tendencies of someone at war in challenging relationships you have?

Is it possible to be out of the box all the time?

4 Ways to Get Out and Stay Out of the Box Look for the signs of the box (blame, justification, horribilization, common box syles, etc.) Find an out-of-the box place (relationships, memories, activities, places) Ponder the situation anew (from this out of the box perspective). Ask What are this person’s or people’s challenges, trials, burdens, and pains? How am I, or some group of which I am a part, adding to these challenges In what ways are my better-than, I-deserve, worse-than, and must-be-seen-as boxes blocking potential solutions What am I feeling I should do for this person or group? What could I do to help Act upon what I have discovered; do what I am feeling I should do

Look for the signs of the box (blame, justification, horribilization, common box syles, etc.)

Find an out-of-the box place (relationships, memories, activities, places)

Ponder the situation anew (from this out of the box perspective). Ask

What are this person’s or people’s challenges, trials, burdens, and pains?

How am I, or some group of which I am a part, adding to these challenges

In what ways are my better-than, I-deserve, worse-than, and must-be-seen-as boxes blocking potential solutions

What am I feeling I should do for this person or group? What could I do to help

Act upon what I have discovered; do what I am feeling I should do

THE PEACEMAKING PYRAMID Dealing with things that are going wrong Helping things go right Correct Teach & Communicate Listen and Learn Build Relationships Build relationships with others who have influence Get out of the Box / Obtain a heart at peace

3 Lessons from the Pyramid Most of your time and effort should be spent at the lower levels of the pyramid The solution to a problem at one level of the pyramid is always below that level of the pyramid Ultimately, my effectiveness at each level of the pyramid depends on the deepest level of the pyramid – my way of being

Most of your time and effort should be spent at the lower levels of the pyramid

The solution to a problem at one level of the pyramid is always below that level of the pyramid

Ultimately, my effectiveness at each level of the pyramid depends on the deepest level of the pyramid – my way of being

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