Adding A Co Wife

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Published on February 24, 2008

Author: Gulkund

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Adding a Co-Wife:  Adding a Co-Wife Leanna Wolfe Variations in Polysexuality:  Variations in Polysexuality Denial / Avoidance / Fantasy Traditional Polygamy (polygyny/polyandry) Clandestine Affair Single and Dating Prostitution / Concubine / Mistress Serial Monogamy Swinging / Open Marriage More Variations in Polysexuality:  More Variations in Polysexuality Polyfidelity V and triads intimate networks Polyamory Gender Monogamy Sex Cults Group Marriage residential / separate households Why Is There So Much Monogamy?:  Why Is There So Much Monogamy? The Roman Catholic Church in the 4th century AD banned a variety of marital practices that would have enabled families without sons to generate male heirs. These included polygyny, concubinage, divorce, and remarriage. Ultimately, many families’ wealth transferred to the church. Male Reproductive Strategies:  Male Reproductive Strategies Human males like other ground dwelling primates are by nature polygynous The alpha male in a primate troop will usually fertilize upwards of 50% of the females Natural Selection favors males who become the polygynous alpha males Being that species survival is enhanced by genetic variation, males with strong polygynous proclivities would be favored. Female Reproductive Strategies:  Female Reproductive Strategies Ally with a powerful, protective, and wealthy male Give all males the impression that they could be the baby’s father Sneak off with genetically valuable strangers while maintaining alliance with alpha male (sexy son hypothesis) Social Conditions that Foster Polygyny:  Social Conditions that Foster Polygyny Demographic Gender Imbalance early male death resulting from war, accidents, homicide and disease Social Acceptability 85% of the cultures of the world permit polygyny (e.g. Woodable, Luo, Masaai, Asante,, Kapauku, U.S. Mormons) Economics wealthy, often older men can afford the brideprice and responsibility of multiple wives and their resultant offspring Slide8:  With My Luo Hosts in Western Kenya Slide9:  With my Huli Hosts Reasons African Men Marry Additional Wives :  Reasons African Men Marry Additional Wives Additional Progeny Desired Wives Inherited from Deceased Brothers (Levirate) Expression of Responsibility for Men with Prestige, Power, and Resources Status Marker Additional Labor Power Required Mothering Insurance Passion, Love, and Romance Slide11:  Luo Polygynous Triad Slide12:  Luo Extended Family Benefits to Being Polygynous Men Women:  Benefits to Being Polygynous Men Women Greater Prestige Increased Female Labor Power More Heirs Mothering Insurance Larger Family less social isolation often greater economic security Assistance with childcare and domestic tasks from co-wives Residence Patterns:  Residence Patterns Luo Circular Hut Compound Masaai Hut Compound Papua New Guinea (co-wives share residence, husband sleeps in men’s house) U.S. Mormons (separate households, or main house with adjacent trailers) Slide16:  Luo Compound -- Main Entrance Slide17:  Luo Compound--Private Entrance Slide18:  Masaai Compound Slide19:  Huli Co-Wives House Slide20:  Huli Men’s House Slide21:  Huli Men Slide22:  Huli Polygynist Slide23:  Enga Women with their Pigs Slide24:  Sweet Potato Garden African First Wives’ Reactions to the Arrival of a Second Wife:  African First Wives’ Reactions to the Arrival of a Second Wife Concern About the Division of Food and Material Resources Considered a Normal Event Intensified Focus on her Children’s Well-Being (re: resources for them) Little Concern Over Not Being Husband’s Favorite Wife Adjustment Expected Slide26:  Luo Sister Co-Wives Slide27:  Young Luo Polygynous Family Slide28:  Masaai Polygynous Triad Jealousy and Polygyny:  Jealousy and Polygyny Occurs when resources can be divided unevenly Can happen when visiting times are unequal Can arise when favoritism is suspected Can occur when it is not chosen by the wives switching from monogamy to polygyny co-wives that don’t get along American Wives Reaction to the Discovery of a Husband’s Infidelity:  American Wives Reaction to the Discovery of a Husband’s Infidelity Self Esteem, Reputation, and Ego Threatened Attractiveness Questioned Marriage Counseling Sought to Remedy this “Abnormal” Event Reframing of Marriage Expected e.g. end the affair, trial separation, divorce Favoritism is Irrelevant When Resources are Shared Equally:  Favoritism is Irrelevant When Resources are Shared Equally Husbands Endeavor to Treat Their Wives Equally Second Wives Not Displace First Wives, etc. Newest Wives are “Favorites” Until A Subsequent One is Added Wives Who Are Not “Favorites” Typically Shrug it off Family Issues That Challenge Africans:  Family Issues That Challenge Africans Husbands Who Cannot Afford Additional Wives (but take them anyway) Co-existence of several different marriage forms (customary polygyny, Muslim polygyny, Christian/ Hindu monogamy, and statutory monogamy) Widows Who Refuse to be Inherited by Brother-in-Laws (levirate) Family Issues That Challenge Africans, con’t:  Family Issues That Challenge Africans, con’t First Wives who refuse to accept additional wives into their family and attempt to return to their natal families or live on their own Co-Wife Competition Men Who Don’t Actively Parent Their Children Wives Who Expect Their Husbands to Provide All Financial Resources AIDS --focus on reproductive sex speeds its transmission Family Issues That Challenge Americans :  Family Issues That Challenge Americans The Nuclear Family is Expected to Meet Family Needs high expectations for multiple levels of Male/Female compatibility Affairs and Divorce Break up Families divorce often separates fathers from their children Fear of Interdependence institutions expected to provide for what was once the realm of the extended family Family Issues That Challenge Americans, con’t :  Family Issues That Challenge Americans, con’t Inadequate Childcare Services & Resources Children Seen as a Financial and Time Liability (rather than an asset) Insufficient Resources available to Single Mothers Children Feel Little Obligation to Assist their Parents in their Old Age

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