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Published on March 7, 2014

Author: Chiayihischool

Source: authorstream.com

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PowerPoint Presentation:  (481) 吸吮一盞燈 Suck a lamp ( 482 ) 機上小睹 Gamble in a flight (483) 一美元零錢 Change for a dollar ( 484 ) 徹底傷心 Heart Break (485) 假死篇 Play dead EXIT (486) 特殊戒指 Special ring ( 487 ) 這是貓,不是豬 Cat or Pig (488) 天使的兒子 Son of an angel ( 489 ) 聽力測試 Silent gas emissions yy jokes 481-490 (490) 魔鬼的誘惑 Devil’s temptation PowerPoint Presentation: 吸吮一盞燈 有一天,小強尼的老師要同學指出那些可以吸吮 ! " 老師!霜淇淋! " 小瑪麗回答。 " 很好,瑪麗 " 。老師說: " 還有誰? " 。 " 棒棒糖 ! " 史蒂文說, " 很好,現在是輪到你,強尼! " ,老師說。 坐在後面的小強尼回答說, " 一盞燈 " !。老師及所有的學生都對他的答案感到奇怪。 老師問: " 強尼,為什麼你認為燈可以吸呢? " 昨天晚上我走過我父母房間 " ,小約翰回答說, " 我聽到媽媽說,把燈關了,親愛的,讓我吸吮它 " 。 481 English PowerPoint Presentation: 481 Suck a lamp One day, Little Johnny's teacher asked the class if they could name some things you can suck!" "Ice cream, ma'am!" Little Mary answered. "Good, Mary." teacher said, "Anyone else?". "How about a lollipop!" said Steven. "Very good, now it's your turn Johnny!", the teacher said. Little Johnny, sitting at back then answered, "A lamp!". The teacher and all of the students wondered about his answer. The teacher asked him, "Johnny, why do you think one can suck a lamp?" Last night when I passed my parents room", Little Johnny answered, "I heard my mom say, turn off the lamp, honey and let me suck it." CLOSE PowerPoint Presentation: 機上小睹 一名律師和鄉巴佬在長途飛機上緊鄰而座。律師問他是否想要玩個好玩的遊戲,鄉巴佬禮貌地謝絕並轉身看窗外。 這位律師解釋說: " 我問你一個問題,如果你答不出來,你付我五塊錢,反之亦然。 " 再次,他禮貌地拒絕,並轉身小睡。這位律師開始有點激動,說: " 好吧,如果你答不出來,你付我五塊錢,如果我答不出來,我付你五十元 ! " 這個玩法吸引了鄉巴佬的注意並同意比賽。 律師問第一個問題。 " 從地球到月球有多少距離? " 鄉巴佬一句不說,拿出五塊錢交給律師。 現在,輪到鄉巴佬發問,他問律師: " 什麼東西用三條腿上山,用四條腿下山?” 律師用疑惑的神情看著他。他拿出他的膝上型電腦,並搜索他的所有的參考資料。一個多小時後他喚醒鄉巴佬,奉上 50 元。鄉巴佬禮貌地收下 50 元,轉個身睡覺。 律師有點生氣,喚醒鄉巴佬問, " 嗯,能不能告訴我答案 ?" 鄉巴佬一句不說,拿出五塊錢交給律師。然後又繼續睡。 482 English PowerPoint Presentation: Gamble in a flight A lawyer and a country bumpkin are sitting next to each other on a long flight. The lawyer asks if he would like to play a fun game. The bumpkin politely declines and rolls over to the window .The lawyer explains "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and visa-versa." Again, he politely declines and tries to get some sleep.The lawyer, now somewhat agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $50!" ,This catches the bumpkin 's attention and agrees to the game.The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The b bumpkin doesn't say a word, pulls out a five-dollar bill and hands it to the lawyer.Now, it's the bumpkin 's turn. He asks the lawyer: "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?" The lawyer looks at him with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references. After over an hour, he wakes the bumpkin and hands him $50. The bumpkin politely takes the $50 and turns away to get back to sleep.The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the bumpkin and asks, "Well, so what is the answer!?" Without a word, the bumpkin reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep . CLOSE 482 PowerPoint Presentation: 一美元零錢 長官: " 兵士!你有一美元零錢嗎? " 士兵: " 老兄 , 當然有。 " 長官: " 你不能如此稱呼長官!讓我們再試一次 !" " 兵士!你有一美元零錢嗎? " 士兵: " 沒有,長官先生 ! " CLOSE 483 Change for a dollar Officer: "Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?" Soldier: "Sure, buddy." Officer: "That's no way to address an officer! Now let's try it again!" "Soldier. Do you have change for a dollar?" Soldier: "No, SIR!" PowerPoint Presentation: CLOSE 484 Heart Break One day, I got a short text message from my girl friend after our graduation – " Let's say good-bye !" Just when I started feeling hurt, got another message from her "sorry ! I sent by mistake" Now ! my heart is really broken.. 徹底傷心 記得剛畢業不久的一天,女友給我發了一條短信: ' 我們還是分手吧! ' 我還沒來得及傷心呢,女友又發來一條: ' 對不起,發錯了。 ' 這下可以徹底傷心了 …… PowerPoint Presentation: English 假死篇 那天我在家看電視,電視裡說的是小孩遇到危險怎樣處理的事情。 於是,我就想考考兩歲的兒子。 我裝作暈倒的樣子,看他怎麼辦。 「媽媽,媽媽,你怎麼了?」兒子喊著, 並用手掰了掰我的眼:「媽媽,你真的死了嗎?」 然後等了好一會,沒聽見動靜。 透過瞇縫的眼,我看到兒子在數我錢包裡的錢 ...... 485 PowerPoint Presentation: CLOSE Play dead The TV program is about how a child handle critical situation. Thought it was a good opportunity to give my two year son a quiz. I fake fainted on the floor. my son cried: "mom ! mom ! what's wrong with you?" he tried to open my closed eyes with his tiny fingers. "Mom, are you really DEAD?" I held my breathe and continued to play dead. I peaked since my son became very quiet ---- he was counting my money in my purse. 485 PowerPoint Presentation: 特殊戒指 一個星期五晚上一位白髮老者身邊帶著一位年輕美麗的姑娘走進一家珠寶店。他告訴珠寶商他要一枚特殊戒指給他的女朋友。珠寶商看看他的樣子,拿出一枚 $5,000 的戒指。老者說, " 也許妳誤解我的意思,我想要的是很特別的。 " 聽他這麼說,珠寶商對這一位老者另眼相看,拿出另枚一戒指, " 這一枚很特殊亮麗,但要四萬元 " 珠寶商說。年輕小姐雙眼閃爍著光芒,興奮得全身發抖。老者看在眼說: " 好,就這一枚了” 珠寶商問如何付款,老者說用支票。 " 我知道你要確保我的支票不是空頭,所以我現在就開支票,你可以在週一向該銀行驗証,我會在星期一下午來取貨。 " 他說。 星期一的早晨,焦急的珠寶商打電話給這位老者。 " 你帳戶沒有錢 " 。 " 我知道 " ,說老者說, " 但你可以想像到我的週末有多美妙嗎? " 486 English PowerPoint Presentation: Special ring An older, white haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening with a beautiful young gal at his side. He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring and showed it to him. The old man said, "I don't think you understand, I want something very special."At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over. "Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000", the jeweler said. The young lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement. The old man seeing this said, "We'll take it." The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the old man stated, by check. "I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I'll write it now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds and I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon," he said.Monday morning, a very teed-off jeweler phoned the old man. "There's no money in that account." "I know", said the old man, "but can you imagine the weekend I had?" CLOSE 486 PowerPoint Presentation: Cat or Pig After a quarrel, the husband was teasing the cat. the wife yield: " what are you doing with a pig?" the husband said "it's a cat, not a pig" wife replied " I was actually talking to my cat" CLOSE 487 這是貓,不是豬 夫妻吵架後,丈夫知趣的在逗著貓玩。 妻子見狀便罵道:「你跟那一頭豬在幹甚麼?」 丈夫很驚訝的說:「這是貓,不是豬嘿!」 妻子立刻回道:「我跟貓說話你插什麼嘴?」 PowerPoint Presentation: 天使的兒子 男精神病患者:我有話想要告訴妳。 女精神病患者:什麼事?說呀! 男精神病患者:(小聲耳語)妳一定要保守秘密,我是天使的兒子。 女精神病患者:胡說八道,我什麼時候生過你這個兒子? CLOSE 488 Son of an angel In thea psychotic ward, a male patient said to a female patient "I need to talk to you" "What about?" "Do keep the secret for me, I'm the son of an angel" "Bull shit ! since when you're my son?" PowerPoint Presentation: 489 English 聽力測試 曾經有一位非常拘謹高尚的老年女士多年來有放屁由的毛病,由於來自先天遺傳,人們都不願討論這一問題,因此她花了很長時間尋求幫助。最後,她被說服去她的家庭醫生。她填寫所有規定的表機,在等候室等了 20 分鐘左右,醫生才叫她到他的辦公室,他靠在他的椅子、雙手緊緊交叉,問她有什麼事他可效勞的。 " 醫生, " 她說, " 我有一個非常糟糕的放庇屁問題。昨天下午與國務卿夫婦共進午餐,有 6 次,嗯,嗯,啊 ...... 屁排放但無聲的。昨晚同州長夫婦共進晚宴,也放了四個無聲的屁。剛剛我坐在您等候室,我又放了五次屁也是無聲!醫生,你要幫我呀!怎麼辦? " " 好吧, " 醫生提高嗓子說, " 我認為我們要做的第一件事是給你做聽力測試。 " PowerPoint Presentation: CLOSE Silent gas emissions There was once a very prim and proper older lady who had a problem with passing gas. Since she came from a generation when people didn't even talk about this kind of problem it took a long time for her to seek help. Finally, however, she was persuaded to consult her family doctor. After she filled out all the proper forms and had waited about 20 minutes in the waiting room the doctor called her into his office, leaned back in his chair, folded his hands into a steeple and asked her how he could help. "Doctor," she said, "I have a very bad gas problem. Yesterday afternoon I had lunch with the Secretary of State and his wife and had six, um, er, ahhh ... silent gas emissions. Last night I had dinner with the governor and his wife and had four silent gas emissions. Then, while sitting in your waiting room I had five silent gas emissions! Doctor, you've got to help me! What can we do?" "Well," said the doctor raising his voice a little, "I think the first thing we're going to do is give you a hearing test." 489 PowerPoint Presentation: English 魔鬼的誘惑 年輕的牧師新婚,嬌妻卻愛過奢華的生活。 一天,她回到家,穿了一件名貴的大衣。 牧師驚叫:「我們買不起這樣名貴的衣服呀!」 她說:「對不起,是魔鬼叫我買的。」 牧師說:「妳應該說: 『 撒旦,退到我後面去! 』 」 他太太解釋:「我說了,可是他在我背後說,大衣從後面看也很合身。」 490 PowerPoint Presentation: CLOSE Devil’s temptation Young priests married, wife love to live a luxurious life. One day, she went home, dressed in a luxurious coat. He cries: "we can't afford to buy such expensive clothes!" she said, "I'm sorry, but the devil told me to buy. " He said," you should say: "Satan, go to my back!" and she explained, "Yes, I did, but Satan told me the coat looking from behind is also very fit. “ 490 PowerPoint Presentation: yy jokes 481-490

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