161210 Edanz Kyushu

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Published on December 9, 2016

Author: edanz_group

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1. Kyushu University Molecular Device Leading Program 10 December 2016 Dr Andrew Jackson Dr Kate Harris Author Success Workshop: Introduction to Scientific Communication

2. Section 1 Structure your manuscript well

3. Coverage and Staffing Plan Scientific presentation Logically organize your ideas; adhere to journal guidelines Communicate well in English Factors to consider when writing a manuscript Importance of planning Draft outline & title/abstract according to logic of results; Draft & revise manuscript [Presubmission peer review] Edit manuscript & finalize abstract/title [Professional editing] Select your journal early! No machine translation!

4. Coverage and Staffing Plan Scientific presentation Filter/sort by: • Field of study • Impact factor • Open access • Publishing frequency Journal’s aims & scope, impact factor, publication frequency, open access/ subscription/hybrid • Author guidelines • Journal website Similar abstracts Edanz Journal Selector www.edanzediting.co.jp/journal_selector Insert your proposed abstract/title or keywords into text box

5. Coverage and Staffing Plan Scientific presentation Factors to consider when choosing a journal Aims & scope, Readership Publication speed/frequency Online/Print, Open access Indexing, Rank, Impact factor Acceptance rate/criteria Article type / evidence level “Luxury” / Traditional / Megajournal Online first, Supplemental materials, Cost, Copyright Cascading review, Fast track

6. Coverage and Staffing Plan Scientific presentation What editors want “Journal Impact Factor” = No. citations in indexed journals ÷ No. articles, past 2 years Original and novel research (“journalism” aspect) Well-designed, well-reported, transparent study News, importance, innovation, timeliness High scientific & technical quality, sound research & publication ethics Logical, engaging contents; correct English & formatting High readability & interest, informative Useful message Clear, real-world relevance, influence 1 2 3 4

7. Coverage and Staffing Plan Scientific presentation Submissions Plagiarism Data manipulation Authorship Submit to only one journal; do not republish it; no salami; do not manipulate peer review Paraphrase and cite all sources Do not fabricate or falsify data Do not manipulate parts of images (1) Study design or data acquisition/analysis; (2) Writing/revising; (3) Approval; (4) Accountability Publication ethics Conflicts of interest State source and any financial/personal relationships that could bias the work Safety Ethics approval; for humans: signed consent, data privacy; animal & environmental safety Committee on Publication Ethics, COPE

8. Coverage and Staffing Plan Scientific presentation Formulate your message Where to start?  Your findings form the basis of your manuscript  First organize your findings  Logic, then English language Figure 1 Figure 2 Table 1 Figure 3 Logical flow • Time order • Most  least important • General  specific • Simple  complex • Whole  parts Is anything missing? ? Additional analyses?

9. Coverage and Staffing Plan Scientific presentation Four questions of IMRaD How does your study contribute to your field? What did you find? What did you do? Why did you do the study? Title/Abstract Introduction Methods Results Discussion [IMRaD]

10. Coverage and Staffing Plan Scientific presentation Aim Introduction Current state of the field Background information Specific aim/approach & limits Problem in the field Previous studies Current study General Specific Importance; explain hypothesis/Q Worldwide relevance? Broad/specialized? Check: Preview results? Preview contents of paper? Critical literature review afterwards? Why is your study needed? What is unknown/ incomplete/wrong?

11. Coverage and Staffing Plan Scientific presentation Problem/knowledge gap However, …an alternative approach… …a challenge …a need for clarification… …a problem/weakness with… …has not been dealt with… …remains unstudied …requires clarification …is not sufficiently (+ adjective) …is ineffective/inaccurate/inadequate/inconclusive/incorrect ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Few studies have… There is an urgent need to… There is growing concern that… Little evidence is available on… It is necessary to… Little work has been done on… Key phrases

12. Coverage and Staffing Plan Scientific presentation What was done • Variables, processes, measurements • General to specific or chronological • Enough detail to allow replication • Data handling, quantification methods • Models/equations • Statistical tests Consult a statistician Who/what was studied • Tests, controls • Number of samples/sets of tests • Materials/equipment (+ maker) Data analysis What did you do? Methods/Experimental/ Protocol/Procedure

13. Coverage and Staffing Plan Scientific presentation Results • Synthesis, characteristics • Group, subgroups • Algorithm, trial, improvement • Each subsection relates to one figure and method • What you found, not what it means (unless combined Results & Discussion section); do not omit contradictory results • Use Supplementary Information • Make raw data available Logical presentation Subsections Factual description What did you find?

14. Coverage and Staffing Plan Scientific presentation Combined Results–Discussion Results Interpretation Figure 1 Results Interpretation Figure 2 Results Interpretation Figure 3 Results Interpretation Figure 4 Initial observation Logical presentation Characterization Application

15. Coverage and Staffing Plan Scientific presentation Discussion Summary of findings Relevance Conclusion Similarities/differences Unexpected/negative results Limitations Unanswered/new questions Implications Previous studies Current study Future studies Specific General How do you advance your field?

16. Coverage and Staffing Plan Scientific presentation Story line and consistency General background Aims Methodology Results and figures Summary of findings Final solution & Implications Evaluation of findings Problem in the field Current state of the fieldIntroduction #®® Methods ##® Results ## Discussion ###®® # Words ® References Title & Abstract End matter References, Acknowledgments, Funding, Conflicts of interest, Previous publication/presentation, Ethics/Data sharing

17. Coverage and Staffing Plan Scientific presentation Combined Results & Discussion Introduction #®® Methods ##® Results ## Discussion ###®® # Words ® References Title & Abstract End matter Introduction #®® Results & Discussion ###®® # Words ® References Title & Abstract End matter Methods ##® Conclusion # References may be before the Methods

18. Please see Activity 1 in your workbook Activity 1

19. Section 2 Effective writing: Clear scientific presentation

20. Coverage and Staffing Plan Scientific presentation Planning your communications Purpose and context Document type Audience type Formality, directness, technicality? Authority, evidence, action?

21. Coverage and Staffing Plan Scientific presentation Speech vs writing Journal manuscripts are planned, technical, and formal Well, uh…, what we did in our study…was to attach silver nanoparticles to some well-known materials,…like polyurethane and so on… In this paper, we report the intermatrix synthesis of silver nanoparticles in different polymeric matrices such as polyurethane foams and polyamide fibers. Modified from: Domènech et al. Nanoscale Research Letters. 2013;8:238.

22. Coverage and Staffing Plan Scientific presentation Describing facts/data 1 Use “respectively” for parallel lists The two values were 43 and 45, respectively. The values for groups A and B were 43 and 45, respectively. The two values were 43 and 45.

23. Coverage and Staffing Plan Scientific presentation Use parallel terms Describing facts/data 2 The values were higher in group 1 than for group 2. The values were higher in group 1 than in group 2. The values were higher for group 1 than for group 2. Writing involves many skills: planning, preparing, drafting, and you need to check carefully. Writing involves many skills: planning, preparing, drafting, and careful checking.

24. Coverage and Staffing Plan Scientific presentation Describing facts/data 3 Compared with is for saying how things are different The accuracy of the new program was low compared to the previous program. The accuracy of the new program was low compared with that of the previous program. The accuracy of the new program was lower than that of the previous program. The computer can be compared to the brain.

25. Coverage and Staffing Plan Scientific presentation Describe contrasts and similarities clearly Describing facts/data 4 The values were higher in group 1 (87%) than in group 2 (54%; p=0.01). The values were higher in group 1 than in group 2 (87% versus 54%; p=0.01). The values in group 1 were not significantly different from group 2 (58% versus 54%; p=0.15). The values in group 1 were not significantly different from those in group 2 (58% and 54%, respectively; p=0.15).

26. Coverage and Staffing Plan Scientific presentation Describing facts/data 5 Clarify contrasts The crystals that were treated with A grew faster. The crystals that were treated with A grew faster than untreated crystals. The crystals that were treated with A grew faster than those treated with B. The crystals grew faster after A treatment.

27. Coverage and Staffing Plan Scientific presentation Describing facts/data 6 Don’t misuse time words While many people read e-books, some still prefer real books. Although/Whereas many people read e-books, some still prefer real books. The patient had no appetite since he had eaten breakfast. The patient had no appetite because he had eaten breakfast. The plants were harvested as they flowered. The plants were harvested because/once they had flowered.

28. Coverage and Staffing Plan Scientific presentation Describing facts/data 7 Check the logic of lists The polymer showed good conductivity, thermal and mechanical stability. The polymer showed good conductivity and thermal and mechanical stability. The recorded times were 3 minutes, 2 minutes and 30 seconds. The recorded times were 3 minutes, 2 minutes, and 30 seconds. The cities comprised Tokyo, Japan, London, UK, and Chicago, USA. The cities comprised Tokyo, Japan; London, UK; and Chicago, USA.

29. Coverage and Staffing Plan Scientific presentation Describing facts/data 8 Describe relationships among your data Treatment A reduced ion levels by 32.7% and increased pH by 12.3%. Treatment B reduced ion levels by 22.3% and increased pH by 15.6%. Treatment C reduced ion levels by 38.1% and increased pH by 6.9%. Treatment C reduced ion levels (38.1%) more effectively than treatments A (32.7%) and B (22.3%). However, treatment B increased pH levels (15.6%) more effectively than treatments A (12.3%) and C (6.9%).

30. Coverage and Staffing Plan Scientific presentation Fact Opinion (hedging words) Giving opinions Modified from: Smith et al. Angewandte Chemie. 2014;42:11414-11417. Certainly > Probably > Presumably > Likely > Possibly > Perhaps/maybe Always > Generally/usually > Often > Occasionally/sometimes > Seldom Is/does/has > Must> Will > Should/would > Can/may > Could/might A Layered Hybrid Perovskite Solar-Cell Absorber with Enhanced Moisture Stability Two-dimensional hybrid perovskites are used as absorbers in solar cells. However, 3D perovskites have recently been identified as a promising absorber for solar cells. Our first-generation 3D devices show an open-circuit voltage of 1.18 V and a power conversion efficiency of 4.73%. The layered structure allows for high-quality films to be deposited through spin coating, and high-temperature annealing is not required for device fabrication. However, it requires anhydrous processing and operating conditions because of its instability to moisture. The layered perovskite structure may offer greater tunability at the molecular level for material optimization.

31. Coverage and Staffing Plan Scientific presentation Giving opinions 0 10 20 30 40 50 1 2 3 4 5 Over 5 days of reverse bias reliability testing the current of the devices increased from 32 ± 10 μA to 43 ± 17 μA (Figure 2). This rise in current may be explained by… Do you agree with this interpretation? 0 10 20 30 40 50 60 70 1 2 3 4 5 Time (days) Current(μA),mean/SEM Is this real?

32. Coverage and Staffing Plan Scientific presentation Signposting Help the reader follow your text Introducing Sequencing Indicating new/old information; Clarifying In addition; Furthermore; For example; For instance; As shown in Fig 1; As mentioned previously; It is important to note that… First,…; Second,…; Third,…; Next,…; Finally,… In this study, we…; This paper is organized as follows:…; In the following section,… Summarizing/ Concluding Therefore; Thus; Hence; In summary; In conclusion

33. Coverage and Staffing Plan Scientific presentation Signposting Help the listener follow your speech Introducing Sequencing Indicating new/old information; Clarifying Moving on; Anyway,…; Now, what we see here is…; As I said before,…; To make myself clear…; In other words; What I mean is…; We found three things: first of all,…; There are five steps:… In this talk, I will…; I’d like to focus on…; What I hope to show you; This shows… Summarizing/ Concluding So,…; Anyway; Right; To sum up, then,…; Well,…; What this all means is… Speech uses more active voice and personal pronouns

34. Please see Activity 2 in your workbook Activity 2

35. Section 3 Write your sentences and paragraphs logically

36. Structure your sentences Readers focus at the end of the sentence to determine what is important. 1. You deserve the funding, but the study design is not perfect. Which sentence suggests that you will get funding? 2. The study design is not perfect, but you deserve the funding. Sentence structure Stress position Topic position Clauses

37. Structure your sentences The study design is not perfect, but you deserve the funding. The grant will be awarded in two stages. Stress position Topic position The stress position can also introduce the topic of the next sentence Sentence structure = Word/theme cohesion

38. Structure your sentences Beyond cohesion The study design is not perfect, but you deserve the funding. The grant money of some funding agencies is given only if authors make their data publicly available. The stress position can introduce the topic of the next sentence, but the use of the terms has to be logically connected = We also need coherence

39. Structure your sentences Drawing relationships Logical relations within and between sentences • Cause and effect • Comparison and contrast • Elaboration, e.g., Classification/Definition, Exemplification • Description (giving characteristics) • Narrative sequence of events (reporting a linear sequence) • Procedures, instructions • Problem and solution • Past, present, future (situation/gap analysis) • Arguing for and against (evaluation) • Whole to parts, or parts to whole • General to specific, or specific to general Based on: Grabe and Stoller, 2002; Teaching and researching reading. Harlow, UK: Pearson Education.

40. Structure your sentences Drawing relationships Informational structures • Linear relationships, sequence of events, procedures A B C

41. Structure your sentences Drawing relationships Informational structures • Cycle of events A B CD D

42. Structure your sentences Sentence logic Sequences/cycles Ordinal numbers/ finally Then/followed by/next While/when While/when doing A we did B. We did A then/followed by B. First, we did A. Second, we did B, finally we did C. After/before After doing A, we did B./Before doing B, we did A. A B C

43. Structure your sentences Drawing relationships Informational structures • Categories, hierarchies, definition/classification A B C D

44. Structure your sentences Drawing relationships Informational structures • Sets & subsets; whole & parts; definition/classification D C B A

45. Structure your sentences Sentence logic Elaboration: Definition, naming A B C D A B B D Verb + class noun + characteristic Verb + process + use Parenthetical C, which is an A / is a type of A, is/does/has… - A, also known as/also called Y,… A is defined as/is the process by which X is converted to Y. - A is the ability to do X. C is defined as/is a (type of) A that measures X / that is used for… - X is the fastest growing Y. Verb + parent group + characteristic A is the name/term given to all C that do/are/have X.

46. Structure your sentences Drawing relationships Informational structures • Central theme & ideas; examples A B C D E

47. Structure your sentences Sentence logic Elaboration: Exemplification A B C D E Initial phrase Be Verb C exemplifies A. - A is illustrated by (the case of) C. C is an (example of) A. - One example/case is… For example/instance,… - To illustrate,… Parenthetical Types of A, such as B, C, and D,… - C, for example, can be…

48. Structure your sentences Drawing relationships Informational structures • Characteristics, attributes, alternative pathways A B D E C F

49. Structure your sentences Drawing relationships Informational structures • Situation/Problem – Solution – Evaluation/Comment; logical sequence; flow chart A B C

50. Structure your sentences Drawing relationships Informational structures • Interaction effects, cause-effect A B • D • E C • F

51. Structure your sentences Sentence logic Cause-Effect, Means-Result, Reason-Result A X Y B C Conjunctions, prepositions Verbs of cause/doing Adverbs X and Y happened. - Consequently/For this reason/Accordingly, A happened. - We did B, thereby achieving C. X and Y led to/resulted in/caused A. - A was caused by/resulted from X and Y. - We achieved C by performing B. A happened because/after X and Y happened. - A happened because of/owing to/after/by means of/following X and Y. - We did C with/by/through B. Be X and Y were the cause of A. - A was the result of X and Y. - A was due to X and Y.

52. Structure your sentences Sentence logic Condition-Result A B True in present or probably true in future True in past Theoretical in past If A (had) happened, B would have happened. - B would have happened if A (had) happened. B happened if A happened / were to happen. - If A happened/were to happen, B happened. B happens if A happens. - If A happens, B happens. B will happen if A happens. - If A happens, B will happen. Theoretical in present/future If A happened, B would be happening / would happen.

53. Structure your sentences Sentence logic Means-Purpose A B Infinitive to So that Prepositional clause + verb-ing We used/did B with a view to/for the purpose of/with the goal of achieving A. We used/did B so that we could achieve A. To do A, we did/used B. - We did/used B to do A. - We aimed to do/did X to avoid Y/doing Y. For B was done for the measurement of A.

54. Structure your sentences Drawing relationships Informational structures • Pros/Cons, For/Against, Advantages/Disadvantages, Benefits/Harms A B

55. Structure your sentences Drawing relationships Informational structures • Comparison and contrast A B

56. Structure your sentences Sentence logic Comparison/contrast A B Similarities Differences Adverbs In/By contrast,… - In/By comparison,… - Whereas - However,… A is unlike B. - A is different from B. - Unlike B, A… - A differs from B. - A and B show differences. - …higher/lower/greater/less than… A is similar to B. - A is like B. - A does X, as does B. - Like B, A… - Similar to B, A… - As with B, A… Concession Although both A and B…, - A resembles B, but… - A and B share some characteristics; however,…

57. Structure your sentences Coherence in science communication Logical connectors at starts of paragraphs/sentences/clauses Sequence, process Cause-Effect Contrast/ concession Although, Even though, Whereas, However, In contrast, Despite (+noun or verb -ing),… Because (of), To (+verb), Owing to, So that, Therefore, Thus, Hence, Consequently,… Until, After, Before, While, Since, When, Then, Next, First/Second/Third, Finally,… Conditional If, Even if, Unless, Whether (or not), Except, Provided that, Until, Without, Otherwise,…

58. Please see Activity 3 in your workbook Activity 3

59. Section 4 Organize your text by paragraph functions

60. Structure your paragraphs Manuscript structure Introduction Methods Results Discussion Title & Abstract End matter General background Aims Methodology Results and illustrations Summary of findings Implications for the field Relevance of findings Problem in the field Current state of the field References, Acknowledgments, Funding, Conflicts of interest, Previous publication/presentation, Ethics/Data sharing Solution Situation/ Problem Evaluation /Comment

61. Structure your paragraphs IMRaD paragraph functions Introduction Methods Results Discussion Describing processes and properties Justifying, explaining, defining, informing Evaluating, comparing and contrasting, recommending Title & Abstract End matter General background Aims Methodology Results and illustrations Summary of findings Implications for the field Relevance of findings Problem in the field Current state of the field References, Acknowledgments, Funding, Conflicts of interest, Previous publication/presentation, Ethics/Data sharing

62. Structure your paragraphs Introduction Methods Results Discussion Sequences, Means-Purpose, Means-Result, Condition-Result, Comparison Means-Purpose, Reason-Result, Elaboration Reason-Result, Comparison, Reason-Conclusion Title & Abstract End matter General background Aims Methodology Results and illustrations Summary of findings Implications for the field Relevance of findings Problem in the field Current state of the field References, Acknowledgments, Funding, Conflicts of interest, Previous publication/presentation, Ethics/Data sharing Example IMRaD sentence logic

63. Structure your paragraphs Recognizing IMRaD Signal phrases Results: showed, found, observed, identified, demonstrated, revealed, indicated, (not) significantly different Discussion: our/these findings, when compared with, confirm, agree with, disagree with, differ from, are similar to, consistent, mechanism, explanation, possible, plausible Conclusions: In conclusion, In summary, Taken together, Overall, Therefore, Hence, Thus, suggest, have implications, further/future work Context: has been studied, such as, is important, recently, X found that Problem: unfortunately, however, but, nevertheless, although, despite, still unclear, lacking, unknown Objectives: (in) this study, (in) the present study, purpose of this study, aims/aimed, examine, investigate, study, evaluate, assess, determine Methods: measured, evaluated, by means of, used, calculated, performed

64. Structure your paragraphs The study design is not perfect, but you deserve the funding. The grant will be awarded in two stages. Stress position Topic position Sentence and paragraph structure 1 The stress position can also introduce the topic of the next sentence (useful for explanations and processes)

65. Structure your paragraphs TiO2 surface modification of the scaffold considerably improved its catalytic efficiency. The increased efficiency was prominent early in the reaction but decreased over time. The lack of long-term effects of TiO2 surface modification was likely due to the reaction being conducted in an aqueous environment. Evaluating additional solvents to improve the catalytic efficiency over time is currently being investigated. idea ideaideaidea Topic link sentence Academic English writing style

66. Structure your paragraphs One method of producing carbon fiber precursors, with the potential of commercial applicability, is electrospinning. It has previously been demonstrated that electrospinning can successfully produce precursor fibers that can be converted into high quality carbon fibers with controlled fiber diameters and morphologies. The majority of electrospun carbon fibre precursors reported in the literature are PAN-based. The high cost of PAN, depleting petroleum resources and the toxicity of its solvent, dimethylformamide, has motivated research to look into alternative electrospinnable materials to produce cheaper and more environmentally friendly carbon fibers. Because petroleum-based carbon resources exhibit negative environmental impacts and are of limited availability further motivates research towards green carbon fibers. Recently, a wide range of renewable resource-based materials have been investigated for the fabrication of carbon materials. Among them, lignin has been looked at as a very promising candidate… Modified from Schreiber et al. J Mater Sci. 2014; 49: 7949–7958. Topic sentence Stress sentenceTopic sentence Supporting sentences Sentence and paragraph structure

67. Structure your paragraphs Carbon fibers have been studied extensively for their scientific and technological importance and are finding application in many fields, including catalysis, composites, filtration and alternative energy technologies. Such fibers are advantageous owing to their light weight, and high specific modulus and strength. Demand for carbon fiber materials has steadily increased and is expected to continue to rise in the following years. Furthermore, carbon fibers have potential applications in other areas such as electronics, which do not require such high quality fibers as those used in the aerospace industry. idea ideaideaidea Topic link Information in the topic position can introduce the topic of the next sentence (useful for definitions, descriptions, and narratives). Sentence and paragraph structure 2 Modified from Schreiber et al. J Mater Sci. 2014; 49: 7949–7958.

68. Structure your paragraphs The emission spectra of the fibers before and after being soaked in water contained almost identical signals. The first peak occurred at 549 nm and was slightly shifted compared with the emission due to chitosan. A second peak at 563 nm matched a shoulder from sodium carbonate lignin and was quite prominent. A peak and a shoulder appeared at 583 nm and 598 nm, respectively, and arise from the extremes of the broad peak on sodium carbonate lignin. The final shoulder occurred at 661 nm and was greatly shifted from the slight peak on lignin at 647 nm. idea ideaideaidea Topic link Information in the stress position can introduce the topic of the next few sentences (useful for lists and describing whole/parts). Sentence and paragraph structure 3 Modified from Schreiber et al. J Mater Sci. 2014; 49: 7949–7958.

69. Structure your paragraphs Justifying, explaining, defining Introduction (key topic sentences) Organic polymer solar cells are a type of emerging photovoltaic technology with many attractive properties, such as portability, flexibility, and cost-effectiveness. [Definition, Elaboration] However, the limited light absorption of the organic donor materials and low charge carrier mobility result in relatively poor short-circuit current density… [Concession, Reason-Result] We report the fabrication of tandem polymer cell structures containing semitransparent and conductive silver nanoparticles for efficient collection of holes and electrons from the sub-cells with no potential losses. [Elaboration, Means-Purpose] Background Specific problem Objective = your solution Modified from: Ho et al. Scientific Reports. 2016;6:30327.

70. Structure your paragraphs Describing processes and properties Methods (key topic sentences) The chemicals silver nitrate, sodium borohydride, and trisodium citrate dihydrate were purchased from Chemical Reagent Co., Ltd. and used as received. Synthesis of Ag-NPs was performed by the Lee-Meisel method. [Elaboration, Sequence, Means-Result] Before spin-coating the active layer, the solution was heated at 60–80 °C for 2 h to improve the solubility of the polymer. [Sequence, Means-Purpose] During the measurement, we isolated each finger by scratching the film surrounding the devices to avoid parasitic current. [Sequence, Means-Result, Means-Purpose] Procedures (how) Modified from: Ho et al. Scientific Reports. 2016;6:30327. Procedures (how + why) Procedures (why)

71. Structure your paragraphs Describing processes and properties Results & Discussion The TEM images of the three different sizes of Ag-NPs synthesized using the Lee-Meisel method are shown in Fig. 2(a–c). [Elaboration, Means-Result, Elaboration] To examine the influence of the Ag-NPs, J–V measurements were performed for the Ag-NP-inserted tandem device under 1.5 AM illumination as shown in Fig. 4(a). [Means-Purpose, Elaboration] When the particle size was increased, the Jsc value increased from 6.9 to 7.8 mA/cm2 owing to the enhancement of plasmonic effects. [Condition, Comparison, Reason-Result] Recap of method; data analysis; pointing to illustrations Modified from: Ho et al. Scientific Reports. 2016;6:30327.

72. Structure your paragraphs Evaluating, recommending Discussion/Conclusion The life-time of the electron-hole pairs in the Ag-NP-containing tandem cells increased from 65.6 to 356.3 μs. This result can be explained by a reduction in the effective recombination sites in the layer, which leads to lower accumulation of photo-excited charges at the active interface. [Comparison, Reason-Result, Reason-Result] Improved ohmic contact between two sub-cells increases the life-time of photo-generated electron-hole pairs by reducing accumulated charges. [Reason-Result, Means-Result] These results suggest that this simple modification has potential for application in various other polymer materials and opens up opportunities for achieving highly efficient tandem solar cells. [Reason-Conclusion, Means-Purpose] Main conclusion Implication (future use) Findings + interpretation Modified from: Ho et al. Scientific Reports. 2016;6:30327.

73. Structure your paragraphs Persuading, promoting Professional marketing in the Introduction & Discussion Both the Jsc-related absorption losses and the Voc-related thermalization issues can be solved by the tandem cell structure. Using this concept, several organic tandem solar cells were designed with efficiencies of up to 11% [Means-Result, Means-Result, Elaboration] These results show that recombination properties of the polymer blends are enhanced in our proposed architecture, which involves the insertion of the Ag-NP layer through a simple solution process. [Reason-Conclusion, Elaboration, Means-Purpose] This structure may also improve the ohmic contacts of polymer blend layers if applied to different active materials. [Condition-Result] Introduction = good approach, benefits Discussion = self-mention, benefits Conclusion = potential benefits Self-cite when relevant; match evidence to certainty; acknowledge limitations, criticism, alternative explanations for contradictory data/literature; give real-world implications Modified from: Ho et al. Scientific Reports. 2016;6:30327.

74. Structure your paragraphs The materials selected for the knitted T-shirt for both foreign and local products were entered into the Higg Index tool. The values obtained by various products are shown in Table 2. The men’s T- shirt A and foreign brands B, C, and D obtained higher scores. This was due to the eco-friendly raw materials used, i.e., brand A and B T-shirt included 100% organic cotton fiber….But in the case of local branded E and F T-shirts, the Higg Index score was lower owing to environmentally hazardous conventional raw materials, processing, and many other issues. For better environmental sustainability, these issues must be addressed for local branded apparel products. Overview of method Interpretation Conclusion/ implications Modified from: Kahn and Islam. Textiles and Clothing Sustainability. 2015;1:8. Display item and finding Factually describe and interpret your findings Combined Results–Discussion Elaboration, Means-Result, Elaboration, Comparison, Reason-Result, Elaboration, Comparison, Reason-Result, Means-Purpose

75. Structure your paragraphs Discussion – End Why is your study important? May be a “Future work” section In conclusion, this paper has reported an easy and timesaving means of fabrication of heterogeneous nanotubular arrays of CdS-TiO2 on transparent conductive substrate (FTO)….An enhanced photocurrent density was obtained in an Na2S/Na2SO3 electrolyte by front-side illumination from the FTO substrate….The reduced charge recombination on the interface between TiO2 nanotubes and CdS nanoparticles under front-side illumination contributed to the improved photocurrent density. We believe that TiO2 nanotubular arrays on transparent conductive substrate might find other applications in the fields of dye-sensitized solar cells, photochromism and photocatalysis. Conclusion = Approach/ Solution + News Key finding Benefit/mechanism Importance & Implications Modified from: Liu et al. Nanomaterials and Nanotechnology. 2015; DOI: 10.5772/61970. Reason-Conclusion, Means-Result x2, Reason-Conclusion What does your new method allow people to do? What did you achieve? How did your method work? How can your method be applied in the real world?

76. Structure your paragraphs Match your audience • Level of background and field/specialty knowledge (Amount and depth of introduction? More references? More explanations within your arguments?) • Language proficiency (Shorter sentences, simpler or more familiar words?) • Technicality (Definitions, paraphrases, explanations of methods/illustrations, precision?) • Stance/attitude (Clearer topic sentences; more/better reasons, evidence, examples, alternative explanations or suggested solutions, references; check you present cases both for and against; check logic, flow, and consistency?) • Use (Do you want them to read, cite, or apply your knowledge/method?) • Familiarity, formality, and journal style (words, spelling, grammar, format, sentence/paragraph/document structure and length?)

77. Please see Activity 4 in your workbook Activity 4

78. Section 5 Improve your writing’s readability

79. Coverage and Staffing Plan Readability Modern scientific writing Nature’s guide to authors: Nature is an international journal covering all the sciences. Contributions should therefore be written clearly and simply so that they are accessible to readers in other disciplines and to readers for whom English is not their first language. www.nature.com/nature/authors/gta/index.html#a4 “I should use complex words to make my writing more impressive.”

80. Coverage and Staffing Plan Readability Ensure high readability Use short sentences 15–20 words One idea per sentence; use short words Use active voice Simpler, more direct, and easier to read Recommended by most writing style guides and journals! “Nature journals prefer authors to write in the active voice” (http://www.nature.com/authors/author_resources/how_write.html)

81. Coverage and Staffing Plan Readability To ascertain the efficaciousness of the program, all of the program participants were interrogated upon participant program completion. To determine the efficacy of the program, we interviewed all participants. Prefer active voice and shorter words/sentences

82. Coverage and Staffing Plan Readability Avoid nominalizations Use strong verbs instead of converting a verb into a noun Estimate Estimation Decide Decision Assess Assessment We made a/an… We conducted a/an… Extra, weak verb We decided… Clear, short, and direct Use shorter verb constructions

83. Coverage and Staffing Plan Readability Clarify reference Avoid mistakes (1) A(n): refers to a non-specific noun (indefinite reference) The: refers to a specific noun (definite reference) “A theory that describes economic development…” Suggests there is more than one theory “The Big Bang theory…” Suggests there is only one theory and everyone knows “A participant was chosen from the student sample by random. The participant was then given an English proficiency test.”

84. Coverage and Staffing Plan Readability Clarify It, They, This, That, Those The metal samples were assigned to two groups: the test group and the control group. They were first exposed to acid for 6 months. The metal samples were assigned to two groups: the test group and the control group. All samples were first exposed to acid for 6 months. Avoid mistakes (2)

85. Coverage and Staffing Plan Readability Simplify when possible but fill in missing verbs It was apparent that the simulation results reported herein were accurate and thus the algorithm effective. It was clear that the simulation results were accurate and thus the algorithm was effective. The simulation results were clearly accurate; thus, the algorithm was effective. Avoid mistakes (3) clear “the algorithm were effective” implied

86. Coverage and Staffing Plan Readability Avoid complex words Preferred Enough Clear Determine Begin Try Size Keep Enough End Use Avoid Adequate Apparent Ascertain Commence Endeavor Magnitude* Retain Sufficient Terminate* Utilization *OK in certain fields (magnitude of earthquakes, to terminate gene expression)

87. Coverage and Staffing Plan Readability Delete unnecessary words “A number of studies have shown that the charged group...” “...at a flow rate of 1.0 mL/min.” “As a matter of fact, such a low-temperature reaction…” “That is thus another reason why, we believe…” “It is well known that most of the intense diffraction peaks...”“It is well known that Most of the intense diffraction peaks...” “As a matter of fact, such a This low-temperature reaction…” “A number of studies have shown that The charged group...” “That is thus another reason why Therefore, we believe…” “...at a flow rate of 1.0 mL/min.”

88. Coverage and Staffing Plan Readability Delete unnecessary words Avoid At a concentration of 2 g/L At a temperature of 37C In order to In the first place Four in number Green color Subsequent to Prior to Future plans; past history Prefer At 2 g/L At 37C To First Four Green After Before Plans; history

89. Coverage and Staffing Plan Readability Avoid mistakes (4) Fix stacked and misplaced modifiers The final analyzed test sample only appeared blue temporarily because we had added the especially prepared reagent that we were testing slowly. The final sample that we analyzed appeared blue only temporarily, because we had slowly added the test reagent.

90. Coverage and Staffing Plan Readability Avoid mistakes (5) Don’t overuse with With longitudinal reinforcement of concrete as a standard practice, buckling still occurs especially after seismic activity. Although longitudinal reinforcement of concrete is a standard practice, buckling still occurs especially after seismic activity

91. Coverage and Staffing Plan Readability Avoid mistakes (6) Present simple Present perfect Past simple Stating an accepted fact or current implications Referring to past studies that are still relevant Reporting what you or others did/showed Introduction Discussion Introduction, Discussion (new paragraph) Methods, Results (& Intro/Discussion) “Hydrogels are a promising material for...” “Our findings have implications for…” “Silanization has been shown to increase...” “In this study, we have shown that…” “We used Raman spectroscopy to investigate…” “The prosthesis improved quality of life...” Methods & Results may be in present tense for theoretical papers Use correct verb tense

92. Please see Activity 5 in your workbook Activity 5

93. [New paragraph] “We previously took the Raman profiles of…” Referring to previous studies in the Introduction “We have previously studied/reported the Raman profiles of…” [Next sentence] “A red shift in the G and 2D peak positions is observed…” “A red shift in the G and 2D peak positions was observed…” “We observed a red shift in the G and 2D peak positions…” Verb Tenses

94. “This result suggested that these peaks are from…” Referring to your implications in the Discussion “This result suggests that these peaks originate from…” “This result suggests that these peaks originated from…” “These Raman spectroscopy results confirmed that…” “These Raman spectroscopy results confirm that…” Signal words for implications of results: confirm, demonstrate, show, reveal, support, indicate, suggest, imply Human report verbs: conclude, report, state, find, demonstrate, show, advise, recommend, suggest, argue, claim, contend Verb Tenses

95. Section 6 Improve your scientific writing

96. Scientific writing Making readers think other people’s words or ideas are your own Copying published text without “ ” or indenting (even with a citation) Stating ideas of someone else without citing the source Plagiarism Avoid self-plagiarism…If you use text that you have published before, you need to paraphrase, use “ ”, or indent, and give a citation; …or else, readers think you are presenting new ideas

97. Scientific writing Reference management software EndNote Most established Styles easy to find on journal websites Which one to use? RefWorks Web-based Widely used Mendeley Newer (and free!) Allows collaborations Papers Easy-to-use interface (iTunes) Great for paper management OWL Purdue Online Writing Lab https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/

98. Scientific writing Expressing published ideas using different words (but cite as well!) Paraphrasing Tips on paraphrasing: • Draw the logical relationship and convert to words • Write the text first into another language, and then later translate back into English • Verbally explain ideas to a colleague or record yourself • Name a published method and cite it • Consider text location – Introduction (general) vs. Discussion (data)

99. Scientific writing Good paraphrasing “The magnitude of the change in carbon storage depends on how physical, chemical, or biological processes are altered over time under different land uses.” The size of the carbon storage change depends on how physical, chemical, or biological processes are changed over time under different land uses.24 24. Li et al. PLoS ONE. 2013; 8: e68372.

100. Scientific writing Good paraphrasing 24. Li et al. PLoS ONE. 2013; 8: e68372. “The magnitude of the change in carbon storage depends on how physical, chemical, or biological processes are altered over time under different land uses.” The size of the carbon storage change depends on how physical, chemical, or biological processes are changed over time under different land uses.24 How differing land uses gradually affect biological, chemical, or physical processes changes how much carbon can be stored.24 • Nouns  verbs • Prepositional phrases  Adverbs • Passive  Active voice • Synonyms, word order • Synonyms, word order

101. Scientific writing Good paraphrasing How to vary sentence structure and avoid “listing” Change voice, rhythm, style Separate/join sentences Discourse markers Coincidentally; Also in agreement; Indeed Join 2 sentences (semicolon, colon for a reason/list, or by subordination); alternate short/long sentences Active  passive, negative  positive, invert word or sentence order Sentence logic Either/or; Neither/nor; Not only,…but also Introductory phrase According to X’s method,…; In X’s study,…; X showed/reported…; When X… Change word class An altered direction -> A directional change Prefer to summarize several sources and find relationships

102. Scientific writing Always cite • Cite at end of relevant word/phrase/clause/sentence: Harvard = (Name, year) or Vancouver = Ref. No. • Can put Author name in sentence, but avoid “lists”; name up to 2 surnames (but if >2 authors, only “Author1 et al”); for Harvard style, papers with the same first author and year use alphabetical order of the next author and a/b/c: “Author1 et al (2016a, 2016b, 2016c) reported…” • Quote if using exact words or sentence (“ ”) + citation • Prefer paraphrasing, summarizing, synthesizing

103. Scientific writing Summarizing sources (1) Author1 et al. 2010: Sentences can be grouped together or split apart in research writing, but be careful that the variables used are all consistent. (2) Author2 et al. 2015: Authors of scientific papers should not change the wording of important variables in their study question and answer, lest they give the impression of giving the wrong answer to the wrong question. (3) Author3 et al. 2016: Our advice for scientists is to keep all terms consistent throughout their manuscripts. => When preparing their research manuscripts, authors should keep all terms and variables consistent (1-3).

104. Scientific writing Synthesizing information (1) Author1 et al. 2015: Postgraduate authors of manuscripts reported in this survey that they need adequate writing training at university. (2) Author2 et al. 2015: Postgraduate research students who followed a mentorship scheme increased their efficacy in writing research papers for journal publication, by as much as 30%. (3) Author3 et al. 2016: PhD and Master students in our study improved their writing test scores by 20% to 50% after the seminar course but by only 5% after the mentoring scheme. => University postgraduates have reported wanting more training in manuscript writing (1), but whether this is best done via mentoring or seminars is unclear (2,3). …for an Introduction

105. Scientific writing Summarizing and synthesizing Find common themes/variables Find logical relationships: similarities/differences, exemplification, cause/effect Check which section of IMRaD; check study type Be clear if facts or opinions Use appropriate reporting verbs (state, conclude, suggest, argue, claim) and certainty verbs (is, must, will, could…) Group similar references together; name names if needed Cite and reference well

106. Scientific writing Criticizing sources Be aware: language has different levels of meaning  Syntax and structure At day end, we can’t rely on his study, Author1 et al (2015) was careless and forgot to include controls. => At the end of the day, Author1 et al (2015) were careless and forgot to include controls, so we can’t rely on their study.  Sentence meaning Ultimately, Author1 et al (2015) failed to include controls, so the research community cannot rely on that study.  Social meaning (appropriate among researchers) There is only one published study on this topic (Author1 et al, 2015), but the lack of controls reduces the validity of that study’s conclusions.

107. Scientific writing Criticizing sources Criticize the research, not the researcher Identify specific faults in Design, Sampling, Procedure, Analysis, Limitations, Interpretation Suggest possible reasons for faults Suggest improvements Use hedging and professional, polite language Same applies for Letters to the Editor, blogs/social media and comment writing

108. Scientific writing Making claims Chiswick Chap, https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Toulmin_Argumentation_Example.gif, CC-BY-SA-3.0 Toulmin model of argumentation Qualifier

109. Section 7 Attract your readers

110. Attract readers Help the reader follow your message Sentences Paragraphs Sections Link successive subsections and IMRaD sections through key words and logical relationships Link successive paragraphs through topic sentences and transitions Link chains of sentences through key words, transitions, and logical relationships Start to End Link the beginning to the end (Problem/Aim to Conclusion) through key words 1. Repeat key words/concepts; clarify it/they… 2. Use logical connectors at starts of sentences/clauses

111. Attract readers Coherence in science communication General background Aims Methodology Results and illustrations Summary of findings Implications for the field Relevance of findings Problem in the field Current state of the field Introduction Methods Results Discussion Title & Abstract End matter References, Acknowledgments, Funding, Conflicts of interest, Previous publication/presentation, Ethics/Data sharing

112. Attract readers Emphasize achievements Readers use sentence structure to determine emphasis • Stress position • Main clause vs. subordinate clause • Clause length Useful in the Discussion Vary emphasis of your interpretations

113. Attract readers Emphasize achievements Main vs. subordinate clause Although the study design is not perfect, you deserve funding. Subordinate Main Linking word • Although • Even though • Whereas (Despite/inspite of) Subordinate clauses say 2 things: • Idea may not be important • There is a contrasting idea coming

114. Attract readers Emphasize achievements Although this study was limited by its small sample size, our survey showed high acceptability rates for nanotechnology among the respondents, and all said they would willingly buy nano-based products. Although our survey showed that respondents approved of nanotechnology, the study was limited by its small sample size. Bad news = Subordinate clause at the start Bad news = Main clause in stress position Bad news = Subordinate clause at start Good news = LONG main clause in stress position

115. Attract readers Take care with the title and abstract First impression of paper: clear/concise/convincing Importance of your results Validity of your conclusions Relevance of your aims Your title & abstract should attract readers It sells your work: Readers judge your style & credibility Often first or only part that is read by readers/reviewers

116. Attract readers Your article’s title Important points  Only main idea/s  Accurate, simple  Population/model  Include keywords  Fewer than 20 words  Include method/ study type Avoid Unneeded words (“A study of”) Sensationalism, journalistic style Complex word order Abbreviations, jargon “New” or “novel”

117. Attract readers Title styles Interrogative Can efficiency of solar cells be improved by magnesium doping in metal oxide layers? Indicative/ Descriptive* Effects of magnesium doping in metal oxide layers on efficiency of solar cells * + Method (subtitle) Xxxxxxx: computer simulation model Assertive/ Declarative* Magnesium doping in metal oxide layers improves solar cell efficiency / Improved efficiency of solar cells by magnesium doping in metal oxide layers

118. Attract readers Structured abstracts Aim Objective, hypothesis Results Most important findings Conclusion Relevance, implications Methods Techniques, measurements No references, jargon, unusual abbreviations, figures/tables (Health studies: Include funding source and clinical trial registration number) Background Context, problem

119. Attract readers Unstructured abstract In the Tahe oilfield in China, heavy oil is commonly lifted using the light oil blending technology. However, due to the lack of light oil, the production of heavy oil has been seriously limited. Thus, a new compound technology of light oil blending and electric heating is discussed in this paper, which aims to reduce the usage of light oil and maintain heavy oil production. Based on the mass, momentum and energy conservation, a pressure and temperature coupling model is developed. The heat-transfer parameters are calculated by using Hasan– Kabir method and the pressure drop is calculated by using Hagedorn–Brown method. The model also considers the blend effect of light oil and heavy oil, and the heating effect of electric rod. Example calculation shows that only electric heating or light oil blending technology cannot meet the requirement. The amount of light oil used can be reduced by combining the electric heating technology. Zhu et al. J Petrol Explor Prod Technol. 2014; DOI: 10.1007/s13202-014-0126-x.

120. Attract readers Unstructured abstract Conclusion The amount of light oil used can be reduced by combining the electric heating technology. Methods/ results Based on the mass, momentum and energy conservation, a pressure and temperature coupling model is developed. The heat-transfer parameters are calculated by using Hasan–Kabir method and the pressure drop is calculated by using Hagedorn–Brown method. The model also considers the blend effect of light oil and heavy oil, and the heating effect of electric rod. Example calculation shows that only electric heating or light oil blending technology cannot meet the requirement. Aims Thus, a new compound technology of light oil blending and electric heating is discussed in this paper, which aims to reduce the usage of light oil and maintain heavy oil production. Background In the Tahe oilfield in China, heavy oil is commonly lifted using the light oil blending technology. However, due to the lack of light oil, the production of heavy oil has been seriously limited. Zhu et al. J Petrol Explor Prod Technol. 2014; DOI: 10.1007/s13202-014-0126-x.

121. Attract readers Physical science abstracts (short) Aims Background Methods Results Conclusion Why the study was done Your objective/hypothesis Techniques, models Most important findings Conclusion/implications

122. Attract readers A model has been developed to predict growth kinetics of the intermetallic phases (IMCs) formed in a reactive diffusion couple between two metals for the case where multiple IMC phases are observed. The model explicitly accounts for the effect of grain boundary diffusion through the IMC layer, and can thus be used to explore the effect of IMC grain size on the thickening of the reaction layer. The model has been applied to the industrially important case of aluminum to magnesium alloy diffusion couples in which several different IMC phases are possible. It is demonstrated that there is a transition from grain boundary-dominated diffusion to lattice- dominated diffusion at a critical grain size, which is different for each IMC phase. Modified from: Wang et al. Metall Mater Trans A. 2015; 46: 4106–4114. Physical science abstracts (short) What you did What you found

123. Attract readers Search Engine Optimization  Identify 7–8 keywords (try to use standard terms*)  Use 2 in your title; 5–6 in the keyword list  Use 3 keywords 3–4 times in your abstract  Use keywords in headings when appropriate  Be consistent throughout your paper, but include some synonyms  Cite your previous publications when relevant *Standard terms from PsycINFO, BIOSIS, ChemWeb, HEP, ERIC Thesaurus, GeoRef, MeSH, etc

124. Check your work Tips for editing  Edit in multiple rounds  Macro-edit o Variables are consistent; check overall logic o Paragraph messages are clear; sentences flow o Data match between text and figures o Abstract matches main text (without copying)  Micro-edit o Journal style; academic & formal; no jargon, clichés, sensationalism; no repetition or unnecessary words o Check headings, legends, references o Spelling, punctuation, grammar, word choice, sentence logic (“it”)  Have a rest, then read the manuscript as a fresh and skeptical reader: check readability, validity/reliability, certainty

125. Check your work Check target journal about: (1) aims/scope, (2) format/style, (3) word counts, page/line numbering, (4) referencing, (5) materials to be submitted (title page, cover letter, figures)  Check US or UK spelling  Check use of passive, or I/We or This author, This study, These results  Check logic and consistency  Check all data and display items; check reference to figures  Check idiomatic language and parallel constructions; remove repetition  Clarify referents of pronouns such as It and This  Check subjects are close to verbs; check verb tense and agreement  Check spelling and grammar; ask a native English speaker to help Before submission

126. Check your work Checking spelling Irregular plurals Index -> Indices (or Indexes for book index) Appendix -> Appendices (or Appendixes for book appendix) Species -> Species Axis -> Axes Die -> Dice Hypothesis -> Hypotheses Agenda -> Agendas (used to be Agendum -> Agenda) Datum -> Data (but Data can be singular if “big data”) Criterion -> Criteria Phenomenon -> Phenomena Fungus -> Fungi or Funguses; Matrix -> Matrices or Matrixes Medium -> Media (but Media can be singular if social/mass media)

127. Check your work Checking spelling UK versus US spelling Haemoglobin -> Hemoglobin Organise, Organisation, Analyse -> Organize, Organization, Analyze Colour, Mould -> Color, Mold Grey -> Gray Programme, Program (computing) -> Program Practice [n], Practise [v] -> Practice [n][v] Licence [n], License [v] -> License [n][v] Centre, Fibre, Metre -> Center, Fiber, Meter (but UK/US Meter=device) Catalogue -> Catalog Aluminium -> Aluminum Label, Labelled, Labelling -> Label, Labeled, Labeling Fulfil, Enrol -> Fulfill, Enroll (but UK/US Controlled, Targeted, Cancellation)

128. Check your work Checking spelling https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/usage/commonly-confused-words Confused spellings Accept/Except Advice/Advise Affect/Effect All together/Altogether Aloud/Allowed Altar/Alter Bare/Bear Bazaar/Bizarre Brake/Break Canvas/Canvass Chord/Cord Coarse/Course Complement/Compliment Currant/Current Defuse/Diffuse Desert/Dessert Discreet/Discrete Interesting/Interested Loose/Lose Principle/Principal Sight/Site/Cite Stationary/Stationery Storey/Story There/Their/They’re

129. Please see the Homework activity in your workbook Homework Activity

130. S Be an effective communicator Your goal is not only to be published, but also to be widely read and highly cited  Structure your manuscript well  Present your science appropriately  Write your sentences and paragraphs logically  Write to attract your readers

131. Thank you! Any questions? Follow us on Twitter @EdanzEditing Like us on Facebook facebook.com/EdanzEditing Download and further reading edanzediting.co.jp/kyudai161210 Andrew Jackson: ajackson@edanzgroup.com Kate Harris: kharris@edanzgroup.com

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